I would go along with someone like you

If I told you things I did before told you how I used to be Would you go along with someone like me?
The opening to a song, Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John. Forgot where I came across it but enjoy.

if i told you things i did before
old you how i used to be
would you go along with someone like me

if you knew my story word for word
had all of my history
would you go along with someone like me

i did before and had my share
it didn't lead nowhere
i would go along with someone like you

it doesn't matter what you did
who you were hanging with
we could stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too

and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

usually when things has gone this far
people tend to disappear
no-one will surprise me unless you do

i can tell there's something goin' on
hours seems to disappear
everyone is leaving i'm still with you

it doesn't matter what we do
where we are going to
we can stick around and see this night through

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you

and we don't care about the young folks
talkin' bout the young style
and we don't care about the old folks
talkin' 'bout the old style too
and we don't care about their own faults
talkin' 'bout our own style
all we care 'bout is talking
talking only me and you
talking only me and you
talking only me and you
talking only me and you

(^_^)/ Hi!

I'm still here!! Finally getting around to doing this after being off for three days. I've spent most of it sleeping though, I'm becoming a bear for a change. Well thing is I've been getting headaches the past week, and it has rendered me incapable lol I still had to go to work coz I can't just call in and tell them I'm sick. I still got to do my job, creating accounts, fixing things here and there, but that's about it. All other times, I just sat there and read, no write. Read up on the lives of people I love Awwwwwww, aren't I just sweeet!!?? ( ^_^)(^_^ ) Just kiddin..

As most of you are aware, I've been back now for a little over two weeks after going back to the Philippines (which deserves its own post) Some might even have seen the pics already, if not, you'll know where to look *winks That just reminded me of some guy I met back in Japan. He ended just about every sentence in his e-mail with *winks I only hang out with him once but it was still fun, I remember we ended up waiting on each other for like an hour the first day we were going to meet since we were waiting on the opposite sides of this building. We had a good time. That was the first time I stayed out all night in Tokyo, after having been there two years prior to that. Except the two or three times I got wasted in bar row, but that was just a few blocks from the base though. I just wasn't much of a drinker, thanks to my family members
Thanks to that experience, I spent a lot of times going back, just hanging around the station and getting a buzz with a good friend of mine which I sorely miss, damn it I need to write about Japan

So hmm, two weeks I've been back, I've mostly been working really. I think I might have a lost a friend or two when I was gone, kinda sucky, but hey that's life ;) I know that life is good! Some bad things might happen, but it has a way of balancing itself out. Taking the bad with the good, do what you can, and pray for better. Going back to Manila for instance, it might not be for a joyous occasion, but I still had a good time. So even if I MIGHT have lost someone, there's usually a new one that comes in. I reconnected with two old friends I had in Japan, and got introduced to a fella by a mutual friend of ours. I've been talking to him a lot, so guess that's a good thing. First time we spoke, we barely said anything so I was just thinking that'll be the last of it. But the next night, he texted asking if he could call. Errmm okayyyy.. I said he could, and it's been smooth sailing since then. Why am I even writing about this?? It's not like we're bf's or anything. Hmm, dunno, guess it was nice listening to his voicemail <^_^; - when he tried calling six times one night. I left out forgot to tell him I was working but it was nice. I sat on the couch with a big smile on my face, seeing he called that many times. I guess that's kinda good, getting occupied with someone else, making me get over my blogger crush. I thought it was silly when I've read people write about it but yeah blogger crushes do happen. Have had one the past few months hehe lol Anyways, it's just a crush. Nothing wrong with it.

This update's taking longer than I thought. Ended up being on the phone with the cuzz for the past hour so kinda got distracted. Anyways, will fill in more later as to what's going on. Headache's been my main concern this past week, that's about it. It hasn't set in today yet so, hopefully it's gone for good. I'm not really up to doing anything when it hurts..I just lay there, wishing my mom's around to make me a meal or something. Oh I meant a bf haha. Can I get one please?

Have a good week!! Hope I made sense :D

Had I known...

Read last night that they played in Norfolk just a month ago (T_T) and I missed it. Didn't know how good The Fray's CD was. The song their album title was taken from, How To Save A Life.

Here's a song off of a Japanese animated show, Voltes V back in the 70's, Chichi wo Motomete. I didn't know the words back then but loved it nonetheless. That's music though.

Hope you enjoy it just as much.

Flowers in the attic

It's been close to a month now since my world kinda got shaken all about. Parts of it might be bittersweet, but it still was great. Excitement over getting to meet a friend, seeing the family once again, seeing an ex-lover?, talking to the neighbors just like the old times.

Well after my last post, I was thinking that everything would be set come that Monday. Fly out to LA, spend the night there, and then head down to the Philippines. But that all changed when I got a phone call Saturday afternoon when the booking agency left a voicemail saying that my reservation has been cancelled and I won't be getting on the plane, AT ALL. Philippine Airlines apparently only issues paper tickets, and the lady that called said she has my tickets right in her hand back in California, with not enough time to ship it to me. She said I can fly out Wednesday.

I was at the outlet mall when they called, since I thought about picking up some things for the family, well after I get a backpack that is. I've been meaning to get one for years, and never got around to it for some reason. I called them right when I heard the message, five minutes after they called, but they didn't pick up. So drove right back to the house trying to figure out what to do. That is after encountering someone in the road who had exactly the same car. Oh darn, they'll probably try to race me since when I saw them in the rear view mirror, they were gonna switch lanes to pass me. So they got on the faster lane, knowing that they did, I started fiddling with nothing in the passenger seat, so I'd be looking away from the left side. I was doing that too for a few seconds, but saw that they were going the same speed as I was. Awww feck, so I just looked up and right when I did, you'd just see a white guy sticking half of his body out in the window with a big grin in his face. It made me laugh so just waved back and smiled back at him. He was cute too, but it was a female driving so anyways....

Made it back home and called my cousin up and told her what the dilemma was. Spent a while on the phone with her, looking up other flights that I might be able to catch. We actually toyed with the idea of spending two nights in Tokyo at least, before flying to Manila. But thing is, I would not be able to stop by Los Angeles doing so. I've been to Japan and all but Mr HappySad isn't there. I just thought it'll be nice to finally meet him in person. I was in L.A. half a year ago but I was more afraid back then. What if I bore him? What am I gonna talk to him about? I just about froze thinking of hanging out with him. But I made a vow I'll go see him next time I'm in the area. Oh gah, I'm starting to sound like a stalker lol It's nothing like that. It just so happen that you encounter people online that you grow to admire, and care about. And I wanted to be able to say one day "Hey, I got to meet him in person" with a smile on my face.

I was just sitting in the computer, talking away with my cousin, looking at flights that were taking off for the West Coast one by one. At first, I was thinking of just waiting it out til Monday. Called Robert up briefly and told him the situation since he was expecting me. He said he wouldn't mind if I end up staying an extra day or two and just text him with whatever plan I came up with. So went upstairs and packed up some things. I really didn't wanna bring a suitcase around so grabbed pretty much a carry on and packed my things. Just minimum, two pair of jeans, slacks, tee, shirts, just about three at the max. Well I was looking at some Airtran flights that were leaving at an airport nearby, and saw one for leaving around 0530, and arriving at LAX right about noon. I was actually gonna try to get some sleep, but this whole affair was making me antsy so 2 am came and there I was still debating whether to fly out that morning or not. 3 am rolls around and saw that the Airtran flight is still there. So I went on and continued packing just in case I wanted to catch that one. I checked once more and it's now gone on their website.. Grrreat, now you'll have to wait Dee.

I looked up their number and gave them a call, asking if they still had flights for the plane that leaves in 2 hrs. The lady said they still have three seats, so eventhough it said that you were supposed to check in 120 mins before flight, I thought ahh heck, I'll probably just be bored sitting around the house all day so might as well be in LA. So finally zipped up my suitcase and the backpack, running around the house making sure I didn't forget anything. Hopped right on the shower, called the cab company before I put on some clothes, so it'll be waiting by the time I got dressed. So was all set, excited and nervous since I wasn't even sure there'd be seats left by the time I got to the airport. The taxi got there, and eventhough it was just a 10-min drive or so to the airport, it felt too long that I wanted to smack him and tell him to hurry up. Sheeeshh, what are you taking your sweet ass time for!
We finally got to the airport and had to fall in line. Oh oh, there might not be any seats left. But I got to the counter, and the woman said that yea, I can still get on the flight leaving in 30 mins. So paid and checked my bags in and walked towards the gate all smiling. Probably looking a bit silly with a big grin on my face, walking by myself. Hey I was happy :D So sent Rob a text saying I was gonna be in LA right about noon. Kinda was worried I was gonna be a bother, but nah, didn't feel like I was at all when I finally got there. (I think!)

I got nervous a little bit, but it all went away when we were driving up to WeHo. I was just thinking Wowww, I'm really here sitting next to Robert. Yeah, I sorta was like a starstruck fan. He talked about our little adventure here. Like he mentioned, we went to a French Restaurant and walked around Melrose Ave. That was the first one place I've gone to that mostly catered to the gay community. It's nice seeing a mixture of people though. Family on one end, gay couple on the other. I even saw a guy in a revealing denim hot pants ala-Kylie. I liked Melrose Ave a lot, but was holding back a bit before I go off on a shopping spree without even having left the country yet. It was nice to just be able to walk around like that, just checking stores out, or just watching people go about doing their own thing. I got to have my first Jamba Juice shake ever too. Rob probably had a feeling I liked this one shirt at a clothing store. I've seen this tee a year or two ago when I stumbled upon Cool Hunting while idly surfing at work. Kinda liked it but it was already sold out when I looked so kinda forgot about it, until I saw it again here in L.A. Debating whether to really get it or not, but we passed by the place on the way to the car so ended up buying the t-shirt. This guy is wearing it in a picture. I didn't think it was suitable for a wake but the family made him change his tee after flying in with a bright red tee which they thought wasn't apppropriate.

So after walking around Melrose, we headed back to their house where I got to meet Alec. It was during that time where I really got nervous. I wanted to get off the car hehe But Alec was such a darling. Robert introduced us and I reached out my hand but Alec stepped forward and gave me a hug. That was really neat. It was silly of me being reticent even for a second. These were two genuinely great guys I was around with. It's fun just hanging around them , with their joking around and all, I pretty much was laughing most of the time. This helped to keep me smiling even after flying to Manila. Thank you guys..

Found

I went to a Found Magazine event with a friend back in May and had a really great time. Here's what they sent as their five all time favorites under 20 words. Ain't the second one just sweet!!

Lil' Jim
I'm in Cyotie (cross street) getin WASTED! NAAAA! I'm callin you
cuz it's 1:00
SEAN
-- FOUND by Sue Eggen, Pittsburgh PA

* *
If you decide that you love me anytime today, please call me
-- FOUND by Anna Caramanna, Phoenix AZ

* *
I took some ho's
to get some burritos
-- FOUND by Drew Maran, San Jose CA
* *

more buns
more cups
less lies
-- a note FOUND by Danielle Meyer, San Francisco CA

* *
CHX RAMEN NOODLS
CHX RAMEN NOODLS
CHX RAMEN NOODLS
CHX RAMEN NOODLS
CHX RAMEN NOODLS
CHX RAMEN NOODLS
12-PAK LUBR CNDOMS
-- a receipt FOUND by D. Tucker in Ann Arbor MI

*Am back stateside and will update when I get back to VA. I'm sorta home now but will tell more later. Take care you guys..

So I'd be leaving...

Well everything's set and me and my cousin will be flying out this Tuesday for Manila. She wanted to catch the same flight, and good thing we found one where we can fly together considering she's leaving from Colorado while I, from Virginia on the other hand. We're finally good to go though we were having second thoughts here and there about coming.

I had to let the people at work know that I'm gonna be taking an emergency leave. At first, had a bit of an issue trying to get a plane ticket and my boss sort of, let the higher ups know what was going on. I didn't realize what was going on behind the scenes, but come to find out, they were actually gonna cover the plane ticket. Thing is, it would have to only be with Northwest and when I stopped by to check for any flights I could take, the earliest one they had was on the 12th. I really didn't want to get a flight with them either, since I'd have to fly directly to Manila from Detroit. With going commercial, I'm gonna be able to spend a night or so in California which is just what's going to be happening. I'll stay one night in LA, then wait for my cousin to come in Tuesday and fly the same day. On my way back, will be making a stop in San Francisco for a few days.

I really wasn't considering stopping at my dad's but my stepmom's voicemail kinda made me want to go see them now. Ended up crying a bit before I went to bed just listening to her message. I WAS gonna try to get some sleep. However, I had to come by work to sign documents saying I'll be going on emergency leave etc etc Figured ok, I'll just have to sign and go right back home and sleep. But that wasn't the case. Ended up staying around for three more hours trying to figure out a game plan for my leaving. I was really surprised they were gonna cover the cost of the trip, well parts of it at least. What ended up happening is I pay out of pocket and will get parts of it reimbursed when I get back. If they did, great, if not I'll live. I really wasn't expecting that from them, but it was thoughtful of my squadron to do so. After getting that done, I just went back to the house and tried to get some sleep. But with it being two hours away from the start of my shift, I was a bit nervous about not waking up on time.

So now, 5 am and 36 hours since I've been awake, it was taking a bit of a toll. I got to take a nap for a bit in the conference room. Before that though, I was actually taking care of customer requests on our inbox. One of them was from a lady who needs one of her users to have permission to a mailbox. I did give him permission, and wrote back to her saying it's been completed. I didn't know how lack of sleep can really do, until I saw what I sent to her:
He's been given permission f it. Watched y ou struggle oldie.. there's :P
I can't even imagine what her reaction would be seeing something like that. Just laugh it off, or tell on me.

So will be packing up later on today after waking up from my much needed sleep. Still debating whether to get a backpack since the luggage that I'm thinking of getting is just about the size flight attendants use. I'll be pretty much gone for two weeks, making stops in Cali to and fro. Doubt I'd get to go to Castro and all hehe, but oh well. I'd live. I don't think my mom works in the financial district any longer so really no excuse to be leaving with her in the morning and wander around until she gets out in the afternoon. I'll be staying with them only for three days, and just went on a little panic mode right now wondering why I'm stopping in the bay area after all.. Hmmm

Have a good weekend!

One day they're here...

Might be a bit of a downer to some, sorry...

Got a phone call around 8 am, but didn't get to pick my cell up until after the caller hang up. Waited for a voicemail, and there it was. Message from my aunt saying my grandfather just passed away this evening (morning for the U.S, night time in the Philippines) Tried calling her back but I realized they had their phone number changed just recently.

So went ahead and called my grandma's cell and my cousin picked up, saying that my Tatay (it's actually Lolo and Lola for grandparents, but I call mine Nanay and Tatay which equivalents Mom and Dad) died. I just started crying while she went yelled out for my mom since I was on the phone. We were talking and was quite surprised that she was calm, and didn't start sobbing at all. She's the drama queen of the family, well crier would more describe her, so that's quite something to listen to her tell me what happened and not cry. I felt like a child again when she told me not to cry anymore, it's his time and it was probably for the best so that he wouldn't suffer any longer. It really was a shock since the doctor said that he had about 3-6 months at least and yet, it happened not even a month later. She let a distant relative of ours talk to me for a bit, though I kinda chuckled listening to him. He KNOWS that I spoke Tagalog and has even met me in person before, but yet there he was English spokening asking if I'd go home since my Tatay's dead. I haven't actually considered going home at this point.

So hang up the phone with my mom, and texted my cousin asking her if she's heard.. "heard what?' so just went ahead and called her and explained that I got a voicemail and everything saying Tatay's dead. She said no, she didn't know yet but will go ahead and check if her mom knows. She called back saying the line was busy so my Tita Akang (in Denmark) is probably talking to her by now. So went ahead and called my other aunt, Tita Marrissa (in Norway). She picked up and just started crying when she knew that it was me calling. I was laying when I called, but sat straight up listening to her 'Couldn't he have waited until the weekend!!' "I told him we'll be there soon enough!' 'Dee, he's gone!!' Those were pretty much the words that was coming from her. She said she just got done talking to Tita Akang which was screaming, wailing seems more fitting, after learning of my grandfather's death. Being told those things are just what broke my heart. It didn't hit me completely until after this conversation. My uncle got their flight scheduled changed so they'll be flying out tomorrow instead of this Saturday.

She mentioned she hasn't spoken to my Aunt Fely (in Florida) so went ahead to do a three-way. It appeared she knows about it already since her first words were "Dee, patay na si Tatay." (Dee, Tatay's dead) I told her that my other Aunt was on the line too, so sat the phone down and let them talk for a bit. The earliest my Aunt Fely could leave was on Monday, and they won't arrive til Wednesday so that's gonna be one loooong flight. I hope they can have it changed and book an earlier one. My cousin started crying so Aunt Fely told my Tita to go ahead and tend to the kid so did just that, and they said their goodbyes to each other, and to me.

I was chatting with my friend Caleb too, and ended up telling him what happened. It was a bit odd saying this kind of things through IM's so talked to him on Skype. Had to talk to someone since I just didn't wanna bottle it in. He's a good friend, we started talking about other things so that made me smile and laught at least. I mentioned that I was supposed to go have lunch with somebody today, and not so sure if I'd still want to go. He said it might do me good, take my mind off of things even for a bit. So just didn't cancel the lunch meeting. It ended up not materializing though since the guy wanted to just grab some food and bring it by my place. I said I'd prefer meeting him outside today, but guess he didn't want that. Well, he's been over once but good thing he forgot where I live haha

So I was still skyping with Caleb, but had to get off to answer my cell since somebody was calling which was probably my aunt. And sure enough, it was my Tita Akang. She was joking, and everything since she said, she didn't want to be gloomy talking to me. She's trying, though she mentioned she about smashed her head in the kitchen table after she got the text message about this. That she dropped the phone right after and blacked out for a bit. I thought it was kinda stupid texting something of that nature to people, but it just is waayy cheaper than calling long distance.. from the Philippines at least, to the rest of the world. I really thought that was funny, picturing her smashing her head. That made me laugh since that's just what she was trying to do. She's gonna be flying out either this weekend also, or come Monday to go back home as well. She asked if I'd be going too but told her I'm not quite sure yet. I might have to check with the chain of command if I could go without doing all the paperwork that comes along with it. Normally, for servicemembers to go, you have to submit all this documents that has your information. Who you'll be going with, where you're gonnabe staying, the reason of the visit, the current terrorist threat level, amongst other things. The plane ticket cost too.. It's a little bit over a month's salary grrreat. Everybody's been saying they'd understand if me and my cousin end up not going (She's in the Air Force at the moment too) but I know they'd prefer otherwise. It'll be a bit of a reunion as well, since some haven't seen each other since 1997. This will be the first time all the siblings will get together so that'll be really nice, despite of it being an unfortunate time. Seems some of them are handling it well, saying it was probably for the best. I thought heh, they're grown, they'd manage without me having to come. Now, I wouldn't want more than anything but to just be there for them.

Damn it

Someone was gonna move in temporarily in the spare room that I have. We've agreed already, but now he's probably gonna try to move some place else. My car got towed on our way back from showing him around, and now he went to check out some other place. The towing fee was freaking $95!!!!! I was trying to be nice but I guess that doesn't work. My neighbor could have tried finding out who was in their spot, and ask me to move but nope, they just went ahead and called it in anyways. Fuckers.. From now on, there's no more Mr Nice Guy. I'll call in E-V-E-R-Y-T-I-M-E somebody else is in my spots Assholes!!!

Everybody's changing....

That's what I thought, but maybe it's me. Read this

A friend mentioned to do something good for your mom, no matter wherever she is. So did just that, though the most I can do is pick up the phone and call. I really didn't speak to her for long since I was just getting annoyed by her questions. How's this or that friend doing..Have you had dinner yet. Have you spoken to so and so lately, How's work, typical conversations between mother and son. I really was trying to be nice, just answering nicely to every questions, but seriously hearing those questions about drove me nuts. I'm not sure what's been happening, but there's just this whole shift of emotions I've been dealing with lately. I have to let this all out somehow, so hence here I am writing about this, writing as I go along with whatever comes to mind.

My mom was in my grandpa's house, so with that, my grandma, so is my aunt, my cousin and everybody else will be there. I spoke to them real briefly, the usual how are you, i'm fine, happy mother's day. Then called another aunt later on the day (well morning since Europe's ahead) and for a sec, I got close to being happy about calling them up, like I usually have been on different occasions. Guess last weekend wasn't one of those days. I called two other aunts, and was sorta glad it was the machine that picked up and with the last one, I think she was in a chatty mood but I wasn't so five minutes through, told her I'll go get some sleep since I'm tired now yawn. She probably felt that I was lying (which I was) since she hasn't called ever since. We're just starting to know each other. I'm sure it'll be real nice to develop a relationship with the other side of the family, but at times, I'm not sure if I'd be up for it. On my good days, I get all excited about that but get apathetic on some days and just think why even bother, things are just fine the way they are.
After I got to meet my dad's family the first time, it made me happy. It was one of those things that I can say I was dreaming of my whole life, what it was like to meet them, to actually interact in person, more than just letters and phone calls. I remember crying about it growing up, wondering if they even loved me, and if they actually cared that I existed somewhere in the world. Apparently they did, so I guess that's something though they never were there to back the claim up. I suppose I have conditions on how to be loved, but who doesn't really? I try not to but it's a bit hard. I can't say I love someone and just leave it at that. Not ever calling or writing them. I've gotten better at it, but it was hard, not picking up the phone, not calling my friends to see how they're doing. It happens though so guess that it's just part of life. I'm getting to a point where I'm okay with it, finally after being close to 23.

Getting back to last week, I had to take a promotion test on Monday eventhough I was off from work. It lasted for about 3 1/2 hours but it was kinda good in a sense since I got to talk to some guy I sorta knew, but not really. To learn about our job as a 3C... we have to go to what is called technical school which lasts for twelve weeks down at Biloxi, Mississippi. There's usually new batch of people coming in every week and I found out I arrived after he did two weeks prior. He looked familiar but I wasn't able to pinpoint from where so I just didn't say anything, but I guess that's good he initiated the conversation. It's not like we'll be hanging out or anything because of it, he just got tied down, errr married, two/three months ago and work in a different shop so yea...that was that.

I had an actual weekend off for a change so that was nice though I ended up not getting to come over to my friend's house since I slept through Friday night. I tried staying up during the day, but only managed 'til about 2 pm. So fell asleep, set the alarm for 6 pm, but didn't wake up til 3 am the next morning. Saturday,
I hang out with S (oh well, I'm naming names okay) over the weekend and he showed me around Williamsburg. That was the first time I actually did something touristy here in Virginia since arriving here months ago. I've been too lazy to go anywhere, unlike before where I got on the train pretty much every weekend back in Japan. I took some pictures as you'll see on that link so, I probably will be found. I actually put a picture, but got scared so took it down, put it up again, then down but here for those some who hasn't seen me. That pic was taken this time around last year, morning after spending the night out and about, staying at a capsule hotel which oughtta be tried at least once (I stayed twice)

Today (well Tuesday morning) my Speech class started and it's been good so far. I was having second thoughts about taking a class since we're still working 12 hrs, and I am on the night shift. So after getting off, I'd have to stay up for about three more hours. It's only for eight weeks so I should manage. The teacher's pretty funny, so that should help make the summer session go by. We actually got tricked this morning. The teacher was going to be a bit late since he got help up in traffic so 0830 rolls, and some guy walked in and mentioned that he's gonna be our new teacher, calling himself with a Yugoslavian name and everything. He went on, about how the previous teacher hasn't been performing up to the school's standards, etc etc and so him, being part of the board, decided it'll be best to let go of our teacher for good. It was a bit of a shock. He went on and told us his expectations for us students, and how he really wants us to do real good in learning, and so we'll be doing 16-18 speeches during the 8-week run of the class. You can just hear the sigh throughout the students, and we were probably thinking the same thing.. WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO!!!? I know I was, I was just like shit, why'd I even bother taking this class. Mannn, it's supposed to be easy, it's the summer session!!!

He told us a bit of his background, and it wasn't until he later let us on the fact that he's really our teacher, and just messing around the whole time. He's actually Brit, though he's been living in the US for quite sometime now. He's taught classes back in California as well. I just sat there amazed when he told us his background and that he has four degrees, four effing degrees!! That's awesome... I just need to figure out how he went about getting his. Working full time, and taking night classes? Going to school full time or what. So first day of class was good so far. I just need to come up with two topics by Thursday for an informative speech we'd have to give soon. Was thinking of doing Arrested Development and don't know what else yet. Guess I'll sleep on it and hopefully come up with something by tonight.

100 i's

Since it's quiet here at work, figured I'd try this out in less than an hour. Just typing it up in random

1. No one really called me Kris until I moved to the US in 2000
2. I was called by my last name the whole time before that
3. Family and close friends call me De (though they often write it as Dee)
4. My favorite color is blue
5. I am patient
6. I don't get annoyed easily
7. I still consider myself an only child, despite of having a half-brother
8. I had no idea what he looked like until I met them in the US
9. I didn't see my dad in person until I was 16
10. We only spoke on the phone the whole time before that
11. I missed him though I'm not sure why, I did not know who he was
12. I believe there's good in everybody
13. I often rely on the kindness of strangers
14. I got lost in Tallahassee and ended up hitchhiking to get back to FSU
15. I didn't know that thumbs up was the sign for it until weeks later
16. I was in FSU to attend Boys' State
17. I barely spoke the first two years I moved to the US
18. I had good command of the language,my accent was what bothered me
19. I smiled a lot junior and senior year to compensate for it
20. Smiled a bit too much I got nicknamed 'Smiley'
21. I sometimes act like I don't know my mom when we go out and about, she'd strike conversations with about anybody which freaked me out
22. I stand far, far away when she haggled for things
23. I am of mixed heritage, Filipino and Black
24. I identify with my Asian side more (my friend described me Blackish)
25. I enjoy reading
26. I have a box full of quotations, short stories and jokes
27. I was born on this day in July
28. The first sushi I had was in Japan *yum yum
29. I had my first beer at 19
30. I love English
31. I treat people the way I want to be treated
32. I'm never rude to people in the service industry
33. I worked at McDonald's my senior year in high school
34. My coworkers freaked out when I don't utter a single word for the entire shift
35. It made me chuckle on the inside
36. I got offered a bj by a lesbian coworker ( I didn't take her up on it)
37. I had my first one when I was 15, though I still considered myself a virgin after that
38. I have a notebook's worth of sayings, though it's just a duplicate (gave the original to a guy I've never met)
39. I still think about him often and wonder how he's doing
40. I was gaga over his voice and I loved his middle name too, Rivers
41. I have three best friends back in the Philippines, one other gay guy and two lesbians (i used to have a crush on one of the girls, can see why it didn't work)
42. Out of us four, I'm the only who hasn't been in a relationship
43. I'm happy for them, but why can't that be me *le sigh
44. I'm a bit reserved the first time I meet somebody
45. I'm an introvert, but possess extrovert traits
46. I've met up with people from online on a whim
47. I like talking on the phone
48. I took on a girl persona and became phone pal with my teacher's son (Codename: Tricia)
49. I don't like leaving messages on answering machines, yet hate it when people don't do so
50. People tell me I'm funny even when I'm just talking to them (dunno if that's a good thing)
51. I usually bring a backpack/messenger bag everywhere I go (feel naked without it)
52. Some of my favorite shows are Arrested Development, Family Guy, Strangers with Candy, Spaced, The Office,
53. I know some of the episodes by heart and slip one-liners in conversations with people
54. I thought Tracy Chapman was a man (you gotta admit, she sounded like one. Love her though)
55. People fascinate me
56. I cry easily
57. I'm pretty jumpy (My friends make it a point of seeing it in action)
58. My favorite dessert is leche flan or just flan as some people know it
59. I got close to eating a whole galloon of cheese-flavored ice cream when I was 12
60. I always won soda-drinking contests
61. I got punched in the right eye when I was in the 4th grade
62. When I secretly wish that a person would become my friend, it usually happens (yes, even online)
63. First time I got wasted was over a guy I wasn't even in a relationship with
64. It was the talk of the office for a while since that was not my character to get drunk
65. I blacked out that first time, two glasses of coke and rum is the culprit
66. My favorite book is obviously The Little Prince
67. I didn't 'get it' the first time I read it for an English class
68. I love math and thought about being an accountant at some point
69. I never turned in any book reports we've had to do, I still managed to get good grades for our English course
70. I told dirty jokes to the whole class, taking the teacher's post in between period
71. I haven't been in any accident for the past seventeen years
72. My worst accident was when a pointed metal fence went through my chin
73. I still have the scar to this day (but then, scars don't really go away)
74. I thought it'll be a breeze doing this, it's actually not
75. My mom had me banned from all the video arcades in the neighborhood
76. I miss being a kid sometimes
77. I never imagined ever joining the military, yet here I am
78. I've always wanted to be a doctor
79. I try to do a deed of kindness once a day, when I can
80. I'm a legs man, put me in a sea full of joggers with short shorts oo lala
81. I'm a Leo, but I don't think I have Leo qualities at all
82. I'm very neat, and organized
83. I love to walk around the city
84. I have a great memory. I'd remember you, even if we've never spoken
85. I sometimes wish I was forgetful
86. I reminisce a lot
87. I had a collection of jack'n stones and cried when an Arab guy stepped and broke a piece
88. I'm not jaded
89. I'm trusting, sometimes too easily
90. I have the notion that no one would do me harm, though that's probably not the case
91. I'm reliable, and was the go-to guy for classmates/coworkers
92. I was obssessed with Power Rangers
93. I wanted to be Ranma at one point (become a boy/girl when doused with water)
94. I can't draw
95. I sang a christmas song, When a Child Is Born, in front of the whole class (had to since we got graded for it) 96. I try to avoid hanging out in three's or with an odd number of people
97. I've never gone camping
98. I don't know how to swim
99. I can learn choreographies from music videos in a short period of time
100. I love karaoke

Taking the bad with the good....

I heard from my cousin that my Grandpa on my mom's side has cancer. Of what? I did not know until tonight. I really didn't feel like talking, but my aunt called and left a message telling me to call my mama. The cell was right next to me when she rang, but since it was 'unknown' i decided to just let the voice mail pick up.

I was debating whether to call the Philippines, but I ended up doing so. But that was after trying to get through calling acellphone for about 30 minutes. Philippines has got to have one of the suckiest mobile services I've come across with, either it'll cut off or will say that the person you are trying to reach is out of the coverage area, so please try your call later. Well finally got through, after so much frustration I got close to just texting and telling them that I heard about what's going on, and sorry I couldn't speak with them since I can't get through. I was gonna say I just didn't have a phone card but that could be taken care of real easy.

It was my aunt that first picked up and the reception wasn't very clear so she handed the phone to my grandma who passed it on to my mom. It was my mom who told me to try calling the other number they have so that we can get a better reception. At first, I said just don't worry about it since I really didn't feel like knowing the 'details.' Not sure what changed my mind but went ahead and wrote down the new number, and called them right after. Cutting off my mom while she was telling me she loves me, and all the rest. Figured she will say it again anyways so what was the point of hearing it.

So dialled the new number that they gave me, though when it was a guy that picked up, I wasn't sure who it was for a second. It was my stepdad that picked up, the usual how you doin, fine thanks, here's your mom. Said the same thing to her, then after that I asked what exactly what was happening. I sorta have an idea of what it is, but elaborate please. She explained that yes, my grandpa has cancer indeed, and that it has spread through his lungs. I don't know if there's an English word for it, but she said that my grandpa has taning, limited time left. In his case, give or take six months the doctor told them. She wasn't crying or anything though, but then why would they be considering he's still alive. She mentioned how death is a part of life, so it's something to be accepted when it does happen. In a way, it would have been avoided in a sense since it was smoking that brought this upon my grandpa. He's been in some sort of medication when I left six years ago, yet he never actually quit smoking. Smoking, and taking medication at the same time so doubt that would have done him any good. My mom said my aunts are probably gonna fly home in a moment's notice if/when my grandpa dies. I have three aunts that are living abroad, one in Norway, one in Denmark and the other that lives down in Florida. My mom asked me if my cousin and I would do the same when the time comes, though I told her that I doubt I would be. It'll be a must for them since it's their parent, but not for me really since I'm only a grandson. My mom understood, though I have a feeling they'd still want us there when the time comes. I spoke to my grandma also, and she kinda joked about the situation, that they're just hanging around there waiting for him to pass away.

Ever since my cousin has told me about this last week, either it just hasn't sunk in or it's not getting to me as I thought it would if I learn of a family dying. It's my grandpa though, and there really isn't much I can say as far as a relationship between us. Me and my mom lived with him, so did my Aunt and her family (husband, three kids), my uncle and eventually his wife, and my adopted aunt and uncle. I really don't know much of my grandpa until I was about 6 or 7 yrs old when he finally retired from being a merchant marine and became a pensioner. All I can remember is that he drank a lot. He would get drunk and just start trouble around the house, yelling obscenities and calling people names and all. I really can't recall the exact period but it did happen a lot, that me and my mom would sometimes leave and just stay the night at the neighbor's or a relative's house. Sneak back to the house either when everyone's asleep or in the morning, just in time for me to get ready for school. Me being of a mixed race played a role too. Eventhough he never actually hurt me physically, just seeing what was happening or hearing the things said stays, even now that I've grown. I can say that I'm not angry anymore, yet I don't love him either. It's just that sense of respect I suppose since he's my grandfather after all..

Getting back

The day before I had to go to Richmond was when I went by the community college to schedule a placement test. I'll be taking it around 9 am so that'll be five hours as I'm typing this. I'm just gonna be registering for one class though since getting Speech over with is my priority. It'll last for eight weeks over the summer, two sessions a week which I'm really hoping I manage. Either that or a five week course, meeting three sessions each week. I only have a day left to decide, ooops. Didn't realize that 'til today. Still working twelve hours so that'll be a bit of a beach hehe

Aside from that, the Richmond event turned out good. It was fun, talking to people about the product we were endorsing. I had NO clue about car racing beforehand, and was given a crash course minutes before we opened. I was just quiet the first hour or so trying to listen in to the 'expert' and see what she tells the fans. After that, I was kinda set so demonstrating to people how to work the device. The device was called a Fanview and it's something car racing fans use to actually watch the game in the palm of their hands, and even listen in to the drivers. That was really neat I thought, and a lot of fans were really excited about it. I just stood there at times and just listen to them, well not ramble, but explaining how NASCAR works and all. It was fun, inspite of pretty much standing for a good seven hours. I was sooo tired on the way home, having slept only three hours again that morning before the event. I'll post some pictures later when I get it uploaded on flickr. I'll be found out sort of, so I'll post my self portrait so you can match the name with the face though some have seen me behind-the-scenes. I posted my family's so why can't I post mine. Yea, maybe I'm just a pussy haha.

That's pretty much what's been going on really. I hang out with two cool guys last week and hope I become good friends with them. It was fun just to get coffee, sit with them and talk. They're both funny so that's real good, I just hope they don't find me boring. Yikes, insecurity creeping in. I think I can be funny (I've been told I am) though dunno if that works even when I don't make jokes. I can just be talking to them and they'll blurt out "You're funny" so hmmmm. Oh well.

But anyways, just wanted to thank those who stop by ever since I started. I'm touched.. no, not by an angel or anything, just touched. Really feels nice, that you take the time to read and see what's going on. I used to think that people are probably just being nice (oh dear, i hope not!) but that has changed. Well good day to you, and you.. and you and you and youUUU.

Three hours

Yep, un dos tres. That's how much sleep I got for today before coming in to work. Tonight's the only time I have to work though so it's not too bad. I worked the previous weekend, and will be this upcoming weekend so can't really beat that. I've sorta ran out of things to do though.

I got off work Monday morning and was planning to get some errands done. With seven things on my to do list, I accomplished one the first day I was off. I was meaning to do a bunch at least, but the computer kept calling me once I got home. So instead of taking a shower, I ended up being glued to it for a couple of hours. It was good though, got to talk to my friend, and then to my family later on the day. It was with my aunt that I haven't seen in about seven years. Woww, I didn't realize it has been that long. But yea, my family is spread out all over so it can be rough at times.


My aunt has a daughter that's five years old now,that I have yet to meet, I love her just as much. Whenever I'd talk to them online, or on the phone, I get real happy just seeing her. She's such a darling, and her laugh is just contagious. I bought her a Crazy Frog stuffed toy and you can hear her giggling while the frog goes A ding ding ding ding dididing ding bing bing pscht,Dorhrm bom bom bedom bem bom bedom bom bum ba ba bom bom
Sometimes when I think about it, that's how it works with family I guess. You might have never met some, yet you adore them just the same. Sorta the same in the online community, you get to know people and you care about them deeply just as much. Some that you've never ever met, maybe even never will in some cases, yet that still doesn't stop you from caring. Weird as it may seem, we learn to love these people. I think though we are afraid to say those words sometimes. I know I am. Instead we say 'I care' or 'I miss you.' But deep down, you know you loooove them.

Well talking to the family, I finally went to the post office to file petition papers for my mom. This is the second time I'm filing since we did back in February 05, but nothing came out of it. I had to shell out close to $200 again but oh well, hopefully it gets approved this time around and we hear back from them. I'm trying to get it taken care of while I'm still in the military, and that's about for seven months.

Come Tuesday, I still had to mail out some more things and I do not know what was happening, but I kept switching the zip code digits around. It would have been alright if it only happened once. But nope! This day where I had to mail some 'packages' out, I made a mistake not once but twice that I had to keep going back to my notebook to check. She was saying how the zip codes I put down doesn't exist. The second time it happened, she gave me THAT look. I wanted to say, I swear I'm not an idiot, but that'll probably just prove her opinion about me. I should just be whateva, I'ma do what I want!! But I'm still working on that. Like me please!

Aside from that, well there's a NASCAR Cup Race going on this weekend about an hour from where I live. I saw an ad that they needed some promo models and I emailed them a picture, sort of as a joke to see if they'd get in touch. Well they called Monday and they told me to get back with them later on that day so they can make a decision come Tuesday. I ended up sleeping and didn't wake up til about midnight so really can't call them by then. Come daytime, I fell asleep in the couch after watching 'Happiness.' I was gonna do some weights but passed out while thinking about it. So Tuesday rolls and I woke up and did some errands and didn't get to call them either. Slack much!? Well Wednesday rolled around and I gave them a ring, figured it couldn't hurt. And two hours later, they called and said they'd still take me. So kinda excited about that, it'll be a whole day event and I'll be in the booths for a cellphone company. Definitely could use some extra cash. I'm exhausting everything I can, before resorting to getting a roommate. I'm considering it again, though an intern or a summer student might not be too bad. Just as long as I make sure they can pay upfront, and not take their 'word' like last time. Lesson learned on that one...

New York Bzzzzzz

Ah New York New York. It's been a week now since I left and came back. This has been my fourth night back to work and finally write something. I have no idea how I've sat idle for twelve hours everytime and manage not to do anything.
Well it was a 6-hour drive from Virginia to New Jersey where I'm gonna be staying at my friend's place. There were two ways to get to Jersey, either the interstate that'll go through DC or the highway that'll go through some bay bridge and some towns. I took the highway since getting around DC is a bit crazy and I didn't wanna get lost. The highway is pretty much a straight shot and it had a nice view though I was a bit nervous at the baybridge. It amazes me sometimes how they went about building bridges and tunnel though they make me nervous driving through them. It was about 30 miles of just being in the water and I sure am glad when that was done with. The drive took six hours which isn't too bad since I was just getting a feel of the road I'm gonna be taking. I got to my destination around 3 pm which isn't too bad. I didn't feel tired which was good considering that was 24 hours of no sleep so far. It was good seeing my friend again and I'm glad it just felt like we were hanging out in Japan the day before. I had to keep pinching myself though. At times, it still feels that I'm in some sort of a dream, as weird as that might be. Being in the US, driving across states, going to New York, just about everything. I often times pause and try to soak in all that is happening.

So we just chilled for a little while then got ready to go to New York City which is about an hour away by train. Josh has never gone either so we had a bit of a problem trying to get to the station. We were driving back and forth through the same streets before eventually stopping at a gas station and asking for directions. It was a bit odd though, since the exit that we took had a sign that talked about trains and rails so dunno what happened. I ended up going in to ask since I was the one who's wanting to go real bad. So did that, and the street that we happened to be on was the way to get to the train station so got real excited over that. We arrived at the station, parked and the car and I was just running up to the station to get tickets just in case the train arrives. Well it did about ten minutes later. Thing is we weren't sure that it was the right train or not. So I went up to the conductor while Josh stayed by the ticket machine which was about eight feet away. I asked him if "Is this the train that goes to the New York?" "Yes, and we're leaving." I jumped on the train and right then the door closed and it started moving.

All I could do was look through the window while Josh stood there. The conductor asked if that guy was my friend and I said Yes. I started walking and grabbed a seat just thinking I'll go to New York by myself then. Well,the conductor radioed it in apparently and he had the train stopped and my friend Josh was able to get on. Josh sat next to me while the train ran its course. Then, a minute later, while I was playing with my cell, a guy came up to us and started saying things. I didn't know what he said but when I finally looked up, he must have been the train captain, he was talking about nobody makes his train stop and how it is his train and it runs on his schedule, not the passenger's etc etc. Well he didn't want us on his train and pretty much told us we're gonna have to get off at the next stop. I just nodded since I didn't really wanna argue. I could tell him that we didn't ask for them to stop the train, but can't really win. He IS the captain. I thought about just pleading with him, tell him it's my first time but doubt he would have cared. He looked really pissed that he pretty much stayed by our seats until we got to the next station and left the train. So we did that, and come to find out the next train was't gonna come for another hour. It was alright really, if it weren't that cold! We didn't bring jackets with us so that was fun. And the wind just loved blowing that night too. I found a seat and hugged myself to try to keep warm.
I sensed that Josh just wanted to call it a night and just go back. He had a friend that lived nearby he called and they talked about him just picking us up so we can go home. I really didn't want to feel like I was making him go so I told him, 'You can have him get you if you want.' I was so intent going to New York that I would not have let anything stop me. Well to see it, and also to be able to meet a fellow blogger, Rey from My Secretive Life. I've spoken to him earlier that day and he was gonna be out and about since his band is going to be playing that night. We missed seeing them play already since their performance was at 2130 and during that time, we were sitting around Princeton Station. Maybe it was stubborness, but I wanted to able to say that I got to meet him after I go back home at least. It would have been a bit of waste, I think if we were pretty much in the same city and didn't get to meet. Kinda like with someone in LA *whistles Well New York will always be there, I know but meeting a blogger in person is like the bonus that came with the trip.

Well we finally reached Penn Station at about 2330. We tried finding a clothing store that might be open since it was real windy that night and of course, everything was closed. We didn't know where to go, so walked around the main train station trying to see what's around it. We passed by the Empire State Bldg which actually glows at night in red and green, if I remember correctly. We eventually went to McDonald's to grab a bite until we figure out where to go. I didn't have a clue what's there, but I didn't care, I'm in New York!! Lack of planning maybe, but I sorta did the same when I was in Japan. Just free-planning, hop on the train and let it take me anywhere. This time, I'm in the US and getting lost won't be much of a problem since the signs are readable this time around. Texted Rey and asked him where he was since Josh said that Rey knows what's the area at least. I felt like a bit of a bother so I didn't try calling Rey right after I texted hehe. He might have been with his friends (which he was) and I really can't expect him to look at his phone everytime to see if I texted or not. We eventually spoke with him on the phone and he had to explain his location since we were jus gonna catch a cab to get where he's at. Gah, I hope he's just not being nice lol (just kidding)

It was probably a 15-min ride or so since we had to get to the 2nd st from the 34th street. Naks, I'm talking about numbered streets and everything, and not the ones that needs to be avoided either. I was just so excited staring out the window looking around the city. I might have been a moth for all I know since I'm a sucker for bright lights. I get all giddy just being near them. So we finally made it to Urge which is in the ....ummm... *Creeps to Rey's and checks East Side is where it is. Places I only used to hear about. But I'm the luckiest guy on the lower east siide. Coz I got wheels and you wanna go for a ride.

It was good, we hang around Urge for a little bit. I got to meet some of his friends, and talked with them. I wasn't talking much now that I think about it. Booo, I don't know where. I get too excited I don't speak much I was all smiles though, just looking around. Some woman started talking to me, and introduced her three other friends, another girl and two guys but I went back and stuck around Rey and company after I grabbed some drinks. Josh said that someone was sizing me up head to toe but I just refused to look at that direction :D

After that, we went to Opaline? though it was relocated that one weekend I came there. Opaline moved, Jersey and NYC had overcast weather, it is soo working out my way. It was still fun. We drank and danced til about 3 am or so, it was great. Dancing along to pop, not hip hop dawwwg. Know what I'm sayin'!! Then we stopped by Nathan's to grab some food and called it a night. Rey was kind enough to offer us to stay at his loft since what I intended to do was to walk around the city 'til the sun comes up and train starts running Fletcher was awake so got to play with him for a while before going to bed. Fletcher's just plain adorable though I was jumpy when he tries to bite. I know he wouldn't but it still made me jump. Hehe, I was real glad though. I still can't believe I had the puppy in my arms. Kawaii!!
Well finally went to bed and didn't wake up til about noon. I was the last one to rise but it was all good. Rey's place was really nice. It overlooks a bay I think and you can sit there and stare at the buildings, and look up at the clouds.

Josh and I left Rey's around 1300 and he dropped us off at this one street so we can just hop on the gypsy bus to get back to the train station. We did just that and really didn't walk around much since it was still windy. So made it back to the dorms, and just ordered some Chinese food and saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose on DVD. Then pretty much falling in and out of sleep the whole night.

Around noon, we just grabbed lunch and then I headed out after that to go back to Virginia. It was a good little get-away and definitely will be doing it again. As much as I loved taking pictures, I didn't get to take any pictures but I will next time. Like MacArthur puts it 'I shall return.'

How would you not know...

Ottosan..

Just testing to see if this works. I spoke with my dad earlier so kinda fits.

It's gotten hot in here

It certainly will be my weekend in 90 minutes or so. Yiipeeeeee! Really looking forward getting off since I'll be heading up north right after. It'll be a 5-hr trip from here to Jersey, but it shouldn't be too bad. Working all night, and going driving, figured I'll just take a nap once I arrive at my friend's house. Well, a room would be a more suitable word since he lives in the dormitories. I'm excited to see him since it's been about a year now since he left Japan, and got transferred to New Jersey. I certainly miss the old gang. Good times, good times now that I think about it. It was definitely more close-knit overseas as far as it goes being in the military. Worked with the same people, hang out with them after work. Have lunch together, go sightseeing together.

I'm sure it'll be nice seeing an old friend. We might even make a trip or two to New York, and then to Philly. Well scratch the might part as for New York, we ARE definitely going. It probably would be way bigger than I'm expecting it to be, but even just setting foot in the Big Apple would get me all excited. Yeah, I can be that easy sometimes. It'll be cool to meet a fellow blogger but if not, I think it'll still be fun. That'll just be a bonus, but NY would be quite something. I know I really shouldn't be shoulding this or that, it should be fun, it should be awesome etc etc Just take it all in when I get there. As Mr Happysad has mentioned recently, I'll try not to use words, to avoid clouding it with past experiences. Probably be harder than it seems, since the city feel would probably remind me of London town *sigh

30 mins and counting down. Still need to do a bit of packing, woke up a bit early than usual but at least, I got to do all the dishes and ummm, that's about it. Mostly was singing and dancing to Alison. Coz she's my number 1, I'm like a dog to get you. The melody. Well, and the dancing too. I go gaga over a song more whenever I learn the choreography to it. Just need to be sure that the oven't off off when I leave. I left it on all night when I went to work, thank god it didn't start anything. No wonder it was so hot when I walked in.

Everybody can get offered a job

That's what I try to tell myself. I've put up a resume and surprisingly got some responses within the first week. It's good and all, but it's throwing me off a little. I was intent on going to school full time after finishing my stint in the military, but now I'm not too sure. It'll be good to go to school, and get it out of the way though I know it'll take a few years to finish it. Sometimes I wonder what it is like to be a full time student, and just have a job on the side, at a clothing store or something. I'm looking into being a waiter though, it'll be nice to get to meet people from all walks of life. It probably wouldn't be all glamorous, but it'll be definitely something different everyday. It really seems that a degree makes a big difference in the civilian sector. It'll be nice to just focus on school full time, and it is something I would want, but when the family comes in to play, I'm having second thoughts. It'll be a bit hard to provide for them when I'm just working part time.I'm single but feels like I'm married....married to parents, that is. There's more to it that I can write about later on, and that's what I'm trying to do when I started this. I said I was gonna be open about things, yet I watch what I write and hold back on matters that I wanna put down sometimes.

I'm not even sure where to live after I get out. The job offer's been here in Virginia so far, but if I find a job in the bay area, I definitely am taking that one! I got like four places I'm considering, stay here in Virginia or move somewhere in Florida, move and live with my cousin in Colorado for a bit, or to the bay area where my dad lives. Me and him, or was it Him and I? Anyways, he's mentioned it before that I could live with them if I decide to go to school in Cali. It'll be really nice considering I really don't know him much. The most we've spent with each other is four months in a lifetime so definitely have some work to do on that one. It'll be good to know him more but at the same time, I'm not really sure. He doesn't know about me, and from what I noticed when I lived with them, they're not really too accepting of the gays, so hmmm. Might be a bit hard trying to cover that up, and try to dodge all their questions about which or what girl I'm dating, etc etc

I was supposed to go to North Carolina Tuesday morning but my friend called the night before I was gonna leave and told me to just come some other time. She had some family matters to take care of so I just let it be. I was real excited to visit her too since I haven't seen her in almost two years, but what can you do. I was really bummed out since I was really looking forward to go out of town. I just had that mindset where I was gonna be spending my time off somewhere else. I got close to just hopping on the train and going to New York. I got really, really close but figured I'll wait it out and plan it a little. Well I'm doing it this weekend so will see how it goes.

On a night like this

One more hour to go before I leave for the day which will be mostly spent sleeping. Schedule got switched to night shift so been working twelve hours which hasn't been bad at all. We're working Panama Schedule which works 3 on - 2 off - 2 on - 3 off so it's been good. It can be a drag sometimes working twelve hours during the night, but it certainly is better than days. As much as I like talking with customers, it can drive you nuts picking up phone calls one after another for the whole day. I'm really patient but lusers push me on the edge at times I love the helpdesk though, so can't complain. I'm gonna be done with the military at the end of this year and kinda thinking if I'd want to do this in the civilian sector. I've been looking at some job postings, and I wouldn't mind working for a private sector where I would actually know who my customers are. At the moment, we have over 10,000 customers and I really don't get to meet any of them face to face. I know there are a lot of cute ones out, if only I get to see them damnit


This week just really flew by. It's the 10th already!!! It was just like yesterday that I went out to some bar. And so, we finally got to go to the club on a good night. It seems that people come out on Fridays and Sundays to the one we went to called The Cactus. They had this thing called Drag Race which is pretty much two guys putting on some dress and wigs and getting on a wheelchair and wheel their way around the cone and back to the starting line. It looked fun at the time but it'll get boring seeing that week after week, well maybe just to me.

It was good though, so we ended up staying right until the club closed. The music was alright, I prayed to all the gods for them to play some dance songs but didn't happen. It was all hip-hop which obviously I'm not a big fan of. Put on some giddy songs!! Coz you're my number one, I'm like a dog to get you yea yea yea yea Goldfrapp, Kylie or Madonna Scissor Sisters for pete's sake Something i can sing and dance along to. I just can't rap, is all.

I ended up getting some girls' digits, though I hope she knows I don't like women THAT way. I just chit chatted with her for a little bit, and got her to dance a little with me. It was funny though, how it was her friend who told me how she thought that was so sweet of me. Isn't that what people do at clubs though? Meet strangers you can dance with. Though to find someone you can go home with, hmmm, probably won't happen to me.

Shift change will be happening in a few so gotta go. Have a good weekend everyone!!!
Ooops, have a good WEEK, WEEK, it's just getting started for y'all.

A kick in the A

Well, it's been three weeks today since the roommate moved in and by the time I write, he should be on his way out. I really haven't mentioned much about the roommate situation except when he was moving in, and now moving out.

A little backtrack, he moved in to the apartment on the 9th of this month. We just communicated via e-mail five days before that and bam, that he was. He seemed like an alright guy from the e-mail and the phone conversation that we had. Same age as I am, used to be in the military, got out and is trying to settle in to the civilian life once again. I figured help a fella out since that might be me one day. Well not might actually, but WILL be in about eight months. Anybody wanna take me in?

Well here was kinda the silly part. I let him move in without putting money down or anything. He said that he was waiting on some money after his mechanic tools got sold back in New York. I was just like ok, just give it when you get the money. I really didn't think much of it. Funny how it was my friend, JD and my cousin, Nani that wasn't too happy about it. They were kinda worried that the roomie, Ry was just taking advantage. I didn't get the feeling that he was though. The boy needed direction, from what it seemed like. He had this ambition to become a musician, yet didn't have a back up plan. He applied to some departments to become a cop around the area, but their training wouldn't start 'til around the summertime. And so in the meantime, he needed a job right.

Being without a car did put him to a disadvantage, but maybe if I saw him trying to find other ways, it would have been fine. After applying to become a cop, that was pretty much it. He just sat around the house and got on the computer pretty much all day. He's had a hard a time sleeping, he said but I think what got to me was that he was on his laptop when I get home from work, and on it when I wake up, in the living room.I let it slide for a few, though I think it's what drove me nuts. I even gave it some thought after going to DC over St Patrick's Day for a 3-day weekend with my new friend JD. Got back on the 19th, though I ended up not speaking to him about the issue until the 23rd. I really gave it some thought. Either that, or I can just be putting it off haha

23rd rolled around and I was still debating about telling Ry about it. I was getting ready for work, and there he was awake as usual. I had breakfast, and had about fifteen minutes before I leave for work. I was just standing in the kitchen debating whether I should tell him now, or wait til I get home at night. I doubt I probably would have so just went ahead and came out to the living room, and sat down and told him we needed to talk. Well it's more of a one-sided conversation, since it was mostly me saying how it'll be best for him to find a new place to live in. I'm not a confrontational guy obviously :) so I said that I'm having a harder time than I would have expected living with a stranger. As JD puts it, I could have just easily picked a man living in the street to come live with me for free. What I told Ry was true though in a sense, I did miss living alone. Just being able to go around the house in your undies, singing along to full blast music and dancing along, those kind of things (yep, I'm one of those people) I was a bit concerned about his safety too, since he told me about his friend getting shot at in the bus on her way home. I'm not sure what exactly went on but that's all I know. Gosh, that felt awkward telling him to leave. He was pretty much just nodding along, and letting out sighs here and there. I felt like I was breaking up with him!! Is that what it's like?

He actually didn't move out until last Thursday, the 31st. He was supposed to catch a bus for Illinois around 11 but apparently the trip would have been too long so he opted to just rent a car, which his friend there paid for. I got real upset when I came by during lunch and he hasn't left yet. I said my goodbyes before I went to work, and I felt a bit silly about it when I apparently would still see him. So that, I told him he can't be here when I got home from work (I just had a fixation of him being gone when I get off work, I wanted alone time that day so bad)

So I called the home phone 20 mins before I left work, and guess what, somebody was still in the house and answered it. I about have a fit heading out to the car so I just sat down for a bit to calm myself down. It worked, since I just figured I wouldn't say much when I see him, hold my tongue to part in good terms. I got real close to going off on him, when we were talking in the kitchen. He was telling me how he's gonna go up to Illinois and all I uttered was Whatever, just make sure you're gone tonight. Dishes weren't done, though he was on his computer again, when I got home. I was thinking up my speech too, how he's been awake all day, and hasn't even lifted a damn finger, how he's probably gonna be taking advantage of the person he'll be living with etc etc, just those unkind words you can say to someone. He said he finally got to sleep , after barely getting any sleep the past few days. I kinda felt bad for the guy, so I just thought, I'll just do the damn dishes. As much as I was pissed, I really didn't want it to end that way. Well just so I can be sure that he'll give me my money later on hahaha I know, I know it's no guarantee that he would do so, but I'm hoping that he'll help someone if a person gets into the situation he was in. Gah, why I can't just be pessimist? Stop believing there's good in everybody and all this feel-goodery, happy thoughts.

Well April kicked in and I'm living alone again. YEEEY. A good way to get Spring cleaning started, Cleared out my life with a person, finally unpacked all my stuff, giving away my things, and getting to clean the house again, it feels like a home now. Hmmm, guess Ry being here helped after all. If it wasn't for him I would not have gotten the whole place straightened out. Oh oh, here I go again, soon enough and I'll get blinded looking at the bright side.


Don't remember where I quoted it from, but kore:
"When you feel yourself getting angry, stop. Imagine yourself as having already exploded and you now feel wasted. For that's what happens when you get angry: your soul leaves you. Do this, and your anger is sure to dissolve."