Sweet note found at a drugstore in Portland, Maine by Sarah Corbett
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Listen, I'm writing you 'cause we are in a public place, you're so pretty it makes me shy, and hopefully it will mean more.
1. I've been heartbroken/celibate for a year 2. Tired of being lonely at times 3. I want a girlfriend, lover, best friend, someday wife.
So if you're not in love or married, let me win your heart.
I promise to give you lots lots x lots lots of orgasms.
I promise to give you lots lots x lots lots of caring.
I promise to give you lots lots x lots lots of loyalty.
I promise to give you lots lots x lots lots of good-heartd fun.
If you're interested call me [phone number], email me [email]
Don't think I'm some nut. NOT.
I just don't know pick up lines nor would I use them if I did.
I'm a good person. I have good Christian love.
And I am worthy.
- Blaine
24 March 2006
13 March 2006
How do you know when to let go
Well it's been three months since that London weekend affair and me and Daniel have barely spoken since then. Maybe three or four conversations, and a bit angry text message when he thought that I ignored him online. We're not even together and yet here I am, I'll admit, obsessing over this whole thing.
We haven't talked to each other for a over a month, no e-mail, no phone calls, nothing. There I was come Saturday morning, kinda bored, and thought about just calling up some people. It's something I tend to do, just calling people up letting them know I'm thinking about them, etc etc which I really do. Anybody has suggestions to help me stop that? It just feels like I have too much time on my hands to be thinking about others, when I should be thinking about me me me.
So Daniel picks up and not even two minutes into the conversation, saying how I disappointed him. I was just sitting here, thinking "What'd I do now?" Considering we don't even live in the same continent, there really isn't much stuff I can do to disappoint him now, is there? We went back and forth, him telling me I should know what he's talking about, when I really had no clue.
"What'd I do"
"You know what you did"
"No, tell me!"
"You know what you did, you disappointed me"
"How?"
"You should know"
"I really don't, just tell me already."
He finally caved in, and told me that he's disappointed that I've been telling things to his housemates behind his back. Well you see, he was sharing the house with a French guy and a Latvian girl when I visited. I sorta made friends with them as well, talking, even having a food-tv style cooking where they made different kinds of crepes after crepe briefly came up in our conversations, where we ended up staying awake til about 2 am, just eating and listening to music.
Those are the two I've been corresponding with since being back stateside. And it was just brief notes, seeing how they're doing, how'd their holidays go, just real casual topics. Somehow though, it seems that it came up how me and Daniel were together, which we aren't. Daniel didn't really want his housemates to know about his business, but I think they already knew from the start anyways. I'm just as confused now, as I was after hanging up with him over the weekend.
It did get better though, I think though it felt like he doesn't believe me completely that I wouldn't do such a thing. He went on about how he really had a good time when I was over there, that it was nice to meet me and all the rest with it being his first time meeting somebody through the net. It is my first too, amongst other things *blushes* He apologized too that we didn't get to do much when I was there, go to the theater, dinner at a restaurant. We pretty much just walked around and talked mostly, doing window shopping here and there, checking out different parts of London. We went to some bars too, though I'm not sure what kind it was since it looked like all the guys there had buzz cuts. We also got to go to G.A.Y. It's nice that I can now say I've been there. He was just so cute shaking his head to the beat, and looking up as he do so. I just wanted to bite him.. rraarrr
I guess I do like the guy, but I wonder if it'll just be best to let go completely. He's moving back to Italy come April and I really won't have his telephone number by then. He has talked about visiting me here in the States, but really can't get my hopes up over that. If he comes, wonderful. If not, I'll live. Well on my good days, but on the not so good ones. I'm sure I'll be beating myself up over having bothered to meet him in the first place on those days.
How do you know when to let go, where does the good go where does the good go (humming til he gets to the car and plays the song)
We haven't talked to each other for a over a month, no e-mail, no phone calls, nothing. There I was come Saturday morning, kinda bored, and thought about just calling up some people. It's something I tend to do, just calling people up letting them know I'm thinking about them, etc etc which I really do. Anybody has suggestions to help me stop that? It just feels like I have too much time on my hands to be thinking about others, when I should be thinking about me me me.
So Daniel picks up and not even two minutes into the conversation, saying how I disappointed him. I was just sitting here, thinking "What'd I do now?" Considering we don't even live in the same continent, there really isn't much stuff I can do to disappoint him now, is there? We went back and forth, him telling me I should know what he's talking about, when I really had no clue.
"What'd I do"
"You know what you did"
"No, tell me!"
"You know what you did, you disappointed me"
"How?"
"You should know"
"I really don't, just tell me already."
He finally caved in, and told me that he's disappointed that I've been telling things to his housemates behind his back. Well you see, he was sharing the house with a French guy and a Latvian girl when I visited. I sorta made friends with them as well, talking, even having a food-tv style cooking where they made different kinds of crepes after crepe briefly came up in our conversations, where we ended up staying awake til about 2 am, just eating and listening to music.
Those are the two I've been corresponding with since being back stateside. And it was just brief notes, seeing how they're doing, how'd their holidays go, just real casual topics. Somehow though, it seems that it came up how me and Daniel were together, which we aren't. Daniel didn't really want his housemates to know about his business, but I think they already knew from the start anyways. I'm just as confused now, as I was after hanging up with him over the weekend.
It did get better though, I think though it felt like he doesn't believe me completely that I wouldn't do such a thing. He went on about how he really had a good time when I was over there, that it was nice to meet me and all the rest with it being his first time meeting somebody through the net. It is my first too, amongst other things *blushes* He apologized too that we didn't get to do much when I was there, go to the theater, dinner at a restaurant. We pretty much just walked around and talked mostly, doing window shopping here and there, checking out different parts of London. We went to some bars too, though I'm not sure what kind it was since it looked like all the guys there had buzz cuts. We also got to go to G.A.Y. It's nice that I can now say I've been there. He was just so cute shaking his head to the beat, and looking up as he do so. I just wanted to bite him.. rraarrr
I guess I do like the guy, but I wonder if it'll just be best to let go completely. He's moving back to Italy come April and I really won't have his telephone number by then. He has talked about visiting me here in the States, but really can't get my hopes up over that. If he comes, wonderful. If not, I'll live. Well on my good days, but on the not so good ones. I'm sure I'll be beating myself up over having bothered to meet him in the first place on those days.
How do you know when to let go, where does the good go where does the good go (humming til he gets to the car and plays the song)
08 March 2006
Holy sheet
Just got a message from the potential roomie that he'll be here like tomorrow morning, Thursday around 0900. Oh my goodness.
Trying to make a move
Ahh, two weeks..there's gonna be some changes to be happening in my life. Not sure if it's really something major that I'm gonna be getting a housemate. Figured I'll put the extra room to use instead of it just being a storage room for the remainder of the year. I got it for my mom but it doesn't look like she's gonna be making it here anytime soon.
So back to the rooming situation, I figured it'll help offset the cost of living alone. I dunno, maybe it'll be more fun too having a housemate again. It's been a while since I've lived with somebody, and I really didn't have any problem with it. It's good to finally have my own room though.
Hopefully me and him would get along just fine. We'll call him Yan. I've spoken to him once on the phone and the conversation was alright. He'll be coming from New York though I don't remember exactly where he grew up. I asked, and he told me but I forgot. It's one of those 50 states for sure :P He told me a lot of places he has lived at so I sorta lost track. He's not a fugitive, if that's what you're thinking. Well I'm hoping he's not, positive thoughts! Errr, I left out one thing though. I really didn't tell him about me being gay. Well I'm not really out out, and only few close friends know about it. I know it shouldn't matter, since I really don't see that has anything to do with being housemates. Or maybe it does? You've probably met one of those guys who thinks that every gay guy would want to sleep with them. So what's your take on this one? Do I tell him now before he moves in? Not at all? Or what? We'll only be roommates for less than a year but still. Inputs please.
So back to the rooming situation, I figured it'll help offset the cost of living alone. I dunno, maybe it'll be more fun too having a housemate again. It's been a while since I've lived with somebody, and I really didn't have any problem with it. It's good to finally have my own room though.
Hopefully me and him would get along just fine. We'll call him Yan. I've spoken to him once on the phone and the conversation was alright. He'll be coming from New York though I don't remember exactly where he grew up. I asked, and he told me but I forgot. It's one of those 50 states for sure :P He told me a lot of places he has lived at so I sorta lost track. He's not a fugitive, if that's what you're thinking. Well I'm hoping he's not, positive thoughts! Errr, I left out one thing though. I really didn't tell him about me being gay. Well I'm not really out out, and only few close friends know about it. I know it shouldn't matter, since I really don't see that has anything to do with being housemates. Or maybe it does? You've probably met one of those guys who thinks that every gay guy would want to sleep with them. So what's your take on this one? Do I tell him now before he moves in? Not at all? Or what? We'll only be roommates for less than a year but still. Inputs please.
27 February 2006
20 February 2006
Suddenly Monday
It's close to Monday night and I'm just here sitting at work reading up on blogs here and there while everybody else got a day off. Should be training but not on a downday as we call it. We've gotten five phone calls at the most since I came on shift at 11, instead of 7 am.
I got sick on Friday but was pretty much out and about the whole day. I needed to get a car inspected before I can get the state sticker for my car and kinda had it planned out Thursday night. Was gonna get up before 8 am so I can go to a auto center to get it inspected. Well I did wake up early, but got online and got stuck talking on the messenger for an hour or so lol. Then, still needed to take a shower and have breakfast so didn't get to leave til about 10. Is it just optimism or stupidity that I think I'll just be able to waltz in and out of places I need to get things done with. So headed out to the first garage on my list, which took a while for me to find, being new to the area. Went on the wrong exit and was driving out 15 mins before I realized I'd made a huge mistake. Finally got there, and I was told they were full for the day so perhaps, I can come back Tuesday. I have a stubborn streak at times, and if I wanna get something done, I'll get it done as when I planned it damnit.
I just decided to go back home, stopping by one more garage on the way. And my luck! The mechanic just had to leave right when I got there since he had some teeth problems and was told maybe Tuesday, they'll have slots open perhaps since it's a first come, first serve. So made my way home, and got changed too since it was colder than I expected it to be. Found one garage that had slots after two phone calls so that was good. Had to mapquest it, and got to the place in about 10 mins. The mechanic that inspected my car is really cool. It's crazy that he's worked on and off of that garage for 50 years. First when he was in the 7th grade, then he joined the military and did a stint in Asia, then back in the same base I am assigned to, worked part time with the same garage. Then retired, and has worked ever since since around the late 70's. Crazyyyyy. Which reminds me that I really need to know cars a little bit more, well a lot more than I do now.
So that was over it, so it made me feel like I accomplished something for the day. I went back home and ended up taking a nap since I didn't feel so good. Found out too that touring Rent will be performing about 20 minutes from where I lived. Really considering going all day, Saturday but ended up just staying in to get better.
That gave me time to finally finish the Road Home (heard it through Robert) which was a nice movie. It was from the son's narration that you get to learn about his parent's love story which was really touching. That is just pure love right there!
Then, saw Transamerica as well which got me crying a little. It's a download but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. It was a touching movie, that got me laughing in some parts of the film.
and funny how I feel better than when I had to go back to work.
I got sick on Friday but was pretty much out and about the whole day. I needed to get a car inspected before I can get the state sticker for my car and kinda had it planned out Thursday night. Was gonna get up before 8 am so I can go to a auto center to get it inspected. Well I did wake up early, but got online and got stuck talking on the messenger for an hour or so lol. Then, still needed to take a shower and have breakfast so didn't get to leave til about 10. Is it just optimism or stupidity that I think I'll just be able to waltz in and out of places I need to get things done with. So headed out to the first garage on my list, which took a while for me to find, being new to the area. Went on the wrong exit and was driving out 15 mins before I realized I'd made a huge mistake. Finally got there, and I was told they were full for the day so perhaps, I can come back Tuesday. I have a stubborn streak at times, and if I wanna get something done, I'll get it done as when I planned it damnit.
I just decided to go back home, stopping by one more garage on the way. And my luck! The mechanic just had to leave right when I got there since he had some teeth problems and was told maybe Tuesday, they'll have slots open perhaps since it's a first come, first serve. So made my way home, and got changed too since it was colder than I expected it to be. Found one garage that had slots after two phone calls so that was good. Had to mapquest it, and got to the place in about 10 mins. The mechanic that inspected my car is really cool. It's crazy that he's worked on and off of that garage for 50 years. First when he was in the 7th grade, then he joined the military and did a stint in Asia, then back in the same base I am assigned to, worked part time with the same garage. Then retired, and has worked ever since since around the late 70's. Crazyyyyy. Which reminds me that I really need to know cars a little bit more, well a lot more than I do now.
So that was over it, so it made me feel like I accomplished something for the day. I went back home and ended up taking a nap since I didn't feel so good. Found out too that touring Rent will be performing about 20 minutes from where I lived. Really considering going all day, Saturday but ended up just staying in to get better.
That gave me time to finally finish the Road Home (heard it through Robert) which was a nice movie. It was from the son's narration that you get to learn about his parent's love story which was really touching. That is just pure love right there!
Then, saw Transamerica as well which got me crying a little. It's a download but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. It was a touching movie, that got me laughing in some parts of the film.
and funny how I feel better than when I had to go back to work.
You Wouldn't Like Me
(Not something I wrote but kinda sums up how I get at times)
There's a war inside of me
Do I cause new heartbreak to write a new broken song
Do I push it down or let it run me right into the ground
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
Well I can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound
And you haven't called me in weeks and honestly it's bringing me down
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me
And don't you worry there's still time
There's nothing to live for when I'm sleeping alone
And I wash the windows outside in hopes that the glare will bring you around
Sunshine is days away I won't be saved I know all the words
I can't say that I'll love you forever
I won't say that I'll love you forever
by Tegan and Sara
There's a war inside of me
Do I cause new heartbreak to write a new broken song
Do I push it down or let it run me right into the ground
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
Well I can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound
And you haven't called me in weeks and honestly it's bringing me down
I feel like I wouldn't like me if I met me
I feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me
And don't you worry there's still time
There's nothing to live for when I'm sleeping alone
And I wash the windows outside in hopes that the glare will bring you around
Sunshine is days away I won't be saved I know all the words
I can't say that I'll love you forever
I won't say that I'll love you forever
by Tegan and Sara
16 February 2006
I miss them
I'm missing my family. Seeing their pictures made me happysad (had to steal that Rob hehe) It's amazing sometimes, family, considering some I have yet to meet. Inspite of, you still love them and hold them dear to your heart.
With me being on leave (vacation) for close to 45 days, I had enough time in my hands to actually meet my father's side of the family. I figured 22 yrs would be enough of not seeing them, so I saw them in South Carolina, on my way to Virginia coming from Florida. I seriously considered just driving through their town and not showing up lol. I got real nervous when I got down to about 20 mins away from their house. I got there and it was just my Grandma that was home so I guess that was kinda good. I would have just been eeeeek if there were tons of people to meet I'm sure. Being a people person and not at the same time, does that make sense? They're family and all but still :D
I'm at work right now, so a bit hard to sit still and write this whole thing. Maybe tonight, but then again so I won't forget the point, it pretty much comes down to make sure to tell your family you love them, especially if they're near. You'd probably think "They know that already!" It's still a nice feeling to hear that reaffirmation....that they're loved, coz action doesn't always speak louder than words.
With me being on leave (vacation) for close to 45 days, I had enough time in my hands to actually meet my father's side of the family. I figured 22 yrs would be enough of not seeing them, so I saw them in South Carolina, on my way to Virginia coming from Florida. I seriously considered just driving through their town and not showing up lol. I got real nervous when I got down to about 20 mins away from their house. I got there and it was just my Grandma that was home so I guess that was kinda good. I would have just been eeeeek if there were tons of people to meet I'm sure. Being a people person and not at the same time, does that make sense? They're family and all but still :D
I'm at work right now, so a bit hard to sit still and write this whole thing. Maybe tonight, but then again so I won't forget the point, it pretty much comes down to make sure to tell your family you love them, especially if they're near. You'd probably think "They know that already!" It's still a nice feeling to hear that reaffirmation....that they're loved, coz action doesn't always speak louder than words.
29 January 2006
New Beginning
Grrrr, firefox froze on me and now I gotta start over. Am able to access the net through somebody's wireless connection so kinda cool I guess.
Moved in to the apartment Friday and has spent the past two days grabbing things here and there to kinda get situated to my new home for the next year at the most, if I ended up not liking it here in Virginia. Past two weeks has a been a bit rough, trying to get around looking for a place to live and not knowing anybody. There's a guy that was assgined to kinda take me around and everything, but he didn't call after my first day at the job when he showed me around so hmmm.. Dunno if I just got too stubborn telling myself not to ask the guy for help at all, since if he wanted to he could have offered but he didn't. Guess that's good in a sense, kinda got forced to "grow up" 72 hrs after getting here. Things are starting to look up now, methinks so figured this as a better time to start posting again. Just had a lot of stuff going through my head.
Will finally report back to work tomorrow which I'm kinda excited about, and yet not at the same time. I've been on some sort of break for the past two and a half months and starting working again would probably be a bit of a shock. Twelve-hour shifts nonetheless, whether it be days or nights, I've yet to find out. It'll be good though, that way I finally get to meet my coworkers to be. Just hoping they don't have me start doing twelves til next week. Am not even sure I'm quite ready for 8-hrs of work as it is, haha. Kinda looking forward to it though that way, I can try to make friends with some peeps at work, since has kinda relied on Craig (slist) at the moment. Has met two people through it though will probably be friends more with the girl than the guy. I've hang out with the guy twice but I dunno, it's just been a bit weird this past week.
Living room's furnished already after finding a good deal online. Had to drive out an hour away to pick 'em up but at least now, it feels a bit homey after just being here for three days. I think I want a roommate.
Moved in to the apartment Friday and has spent the past two days grabbing things here and there to kinda get situated to my new home for the next year at the most, if I ended up not liking it here in Virginia. Past two weeks has a been a bit rough, trying to get around looking for a place to live and not knowing anybody. There's a guy that was assgined to kinda take me around and everything, but he didn't call after my first day at the job when he showed me around so hmmm.. Dunno if I just got too stubborn telling myself not to ask the guy for help at all, since if he wanted to he could have offered but he didn't. Guess that's good in a sense, kinda got forced to "grow up" 72 hrs after getting here. Things are starting to look up now, methinks so figured this as a better time to start posting again. Just had a lot of stuff going through my head.
Will finally report back to work tomorrow which I'm kinda excited about, and yet not at the same time. I've been on some sort of break for the past two and a half months and starting working again would probably be a bit of a shock. Twelve-hour shifts nonetheless, whether it be days or nights, I've yet to find out. It'll be good though, that way I finally get to meet my coworkers to be. Just hoping they don't have me start doing twelves til next week. Am not even sure I'm quite ready for 8-hrs of work as it is, haha. Kinda looking forward to it though that way, I can try to make friends with some peeps at work, since has kinda relied on Craig (slist) at the moment. Has met two people through it though will probably be friends more with the girl than the guy. I've hang out with the guy twice but I dunno, it's just been a bit weird this past week.
Living room's furnished already after finding a good deal online. Had to drive out an hour away to pick 'em up but at least now, it feels a bit homey after just being here for three days. I think I want a roommate.
27 December 2005
London town II
Daniel and I eventually settled on a tube station to meet, after looking up the stops on the site and much texting back and forth. Being in the library has calmed me down a little. I really was trying to push off of the bad feeling considering I'm in bleeping London.
Debating where to go since we really didn't want to waste the day. Ended up settling with Cambridge since London was just a bit painful to go to after the cancelled meet. Cambridge was about a 60-mins or so drive from the town that we're at. So we got there, and went to Nando's which is a Portuguese restaurant. Food was real good, though I only had spiced chicken and rice along with a free drink for first-timers at Nando's. So just walked around Cambridge pretty much and stopped by the mall for a little while. Browsing through the music store, and ended up buying a book which I've kinda been meaning to get for quite sometime. A behind the scenes look on the business side of how the Spice Girls reinvented pop back in the 90's. Did I mention I was a fan? So yeah, ended up buying it at 60 % off. It got me thinking though, about the whole things happen for a reason that people say. I dunno, if the meet/date or whatever was to be cancelled just so I'd be able to find this book hmmm.. That's a bit lame lol since I could have ordered the book online. So ended up just going back to the house, and reading the whole night. Yep, waay to spend a night in England eh.
Thursday - The day finally rolled around though it wasn't a good feeling I had when I woke up. Not getting to see Daniel yesterday really got me frustrated and got me questioning about the whole trip. Laying in bed thinking if I should even bother going through with the whole meeting up thing. I even considered of just packing my stuff up and heading to a hostel around London until I fly out of the country. It is good getting to see my friend Jim, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. I just wanted to leave everything behind and be in company of strangers since the whole cancelling thing really pissed me off, if it hasn't been obvious.
Looking back I can't pinpoint what helped to kinda change my mood for the day since all I remember now was showering, then us driving to base to get gas and grab something to eat. So we left the base and headed out to the station so I can catch the tube, along with our lunch. During this drive was the only time I got nervous about meeting up with Daniel, mixed with excitement that FINALLY, we'll get to meet, a day after the planned date (the time to meet, not the other thing called 'date'. It's not really a date now, is it?) So we finally arrived at Redbridge where I'm gonna have to catch a ride to Shadwell station which is 2 zones away from each other.
The meet up time was at 4 pm but I didn't get to catch one until around 3:30 pm. So was just thinking, heh, I should be able to make it on time. Well 4 pm rolls around and am still on the Central line just approaching Bank station. And from there, would have to switch to Docklands Light Railway (DLR) to get to Shadwell. Well with two suitcases, weighing about 20 kilos each, it was a bit of a struggle having to walk up and down the stairs to get to the other line I had to catch. Finally got to Shadwell, feeling not so fresh after all these damn walking, around 4:15 . Got off the railway, and was gonna start descending down a flight of stairs, until one girl mentioned that I can just use the elevator. Wheeew! (It was actually the girl that I smiled at during the ride, so note * smiling really does make a difference)
Finally got on the first floor after the descent which seemed to take foreverrrrr. So hopped out of the elevator, and looked around the station, trying to find Daniel or someone that resembled him and nada. He was nowhere to be found. I dunno, felt a little annoyance that he could not have hang around a little longer, if he actually did come. 30 ft away from the stairs was a payphone, so went and called Jim letting him know that I got to Shadwell just fine, with no Daniel in sight. Asked him to text Daniel and mention that I'm at the train station waiting. I tried calling Daniel but only got his voicemail so just left a message on it as well. After two phone calls, I still had credit left on the payphone but I really can't get my change back. Good thing that some girl was standing, waiting to use it so I told her that she can just go ahead since I still had some credit left. She had a look on her face like if I was kidding or something. I dunno, it seems like these days, people don't expect any good thing done to them that if you act kind or corteous, they're just in shock that someone was nice to them. That made me feel good inside so I stepped aside by my luggage and was sweating and looking around trying to find a familiar face. And right when I looked at the stairs, a guy in a brown leather jacket, waved at me smiling, and all the anger from the day before just went away and all I can think of was how glad I was that I came.
Debating where to go since we really didn't want to waste the day. Ended up settling with Cambridge since London was just a bit painful to go to after the cancelled meet. Cambridge was about a 60-mins or so drive from the town that we're at. So we got there, and went to Nando's which is a Portuguese restaurant. Food was real good, though I only had spiced chicken and rice along with a free drink for first-timers at Nando's. So just walked around Cambridge pretty much and stopped by the mall for a little while. Browsing through the music store, and ended up buying a book which I've kinda been meaning to get for quite sometime. A behind the scenes look on the business side of how the Spice Girls reinvented pop back in the 90's. Did I mention I was a fan? So yeah, ended up buying it at 60 % off. It got me thinking though, about the whole things happen for a reason that people say. I dunno, if the meet/date or whatever was to be cancelled just so I'd be able to find this book hmmm.. That's a bit lame lol since I could have ordered the book online. So ended up just going back to the house, and reading the whole night. Yep, waay to spend a night in England eh.
Thursday - The day finally rolled around though it wasn't a good feeling I had when I woke up. Not getting to see Daniel yesterday really got me frustrated and got me questioning about the whole trip. Laying in bed thinking if I should even bother going through with the whole meeting up thing. I even considered of just packing my stuff up and heading to a hostel around London until I fly out of the country. It is good getting to see my friend Jim, but it just didn't seem like it was enough. I just wanted to leave everything behind and be in company of strangers since the whole cancelling thing really pissed me off, if it hasn't been obvious.
Looking back I can't pinpoint what helped to kinda change my mood for the day since all I remember now was showering, then us driving to base to get gas and grab something to eat. So we left the base and headed out to the station so I can catch the tube, along with our lunch. During this drive was the only time I got nervous about meeting up with Daniel, mixed with excitement that FINALLY, we'll get to meet, a day after the planned date (the time to meet, not the other thing called 'date'. It's not really a date now, is it?) So we finally arrived at Redbridge where I'm gonna have to catch a ride to Shadwell station which is 2 zones away from each other.
The meet up time was at 4 pm but I didn't get to catch one until around 3:30 pm. So was just thinking, heh, I should be able to make it on time. Well 4 pm rolls around and am still on the Central line just approaching Bank station. And from there, would have to switch to Docklands Light Railway (DLR) to get to Shadwell. Well with two suitcases, weighing about 20 kilos each, it was a bit of a struggle having to walk up and down the stairs to get to the other line I had to catch. Finally got to Shadwell, feeling not so fresh after all these damn walking, around 4:15 . Got off the railway, and was gonna start descending down a flight of stairs, until one girl mentioned that I can just use the elevator. Wheeew! (It was actually the girl that I smiled at during the ride, so note * smiling really does make a difference)
Finally got on the first floor after the descent which seemed to take foreverrrrr. So hopped out of the elevator, and looked around the station, trying to find Daniel or someone that resembled him and nada. He was nowhere to be found. I dunno, felt a little annoyance that he could not have hang around a little longer, if he actually did come. 30 ft away from the stairs was a payphone, so went and called Jim letting him know that I got to Shadwell just fine, with no Daniel in sight. Asked him to text Daniel and mention that I'm at the train station waiting. I tried calling Daniel but only got his voicemail so just left a message on it as well. After two phone calls, I still had credit left on the payphone but I really can't get my change back. Good thing that some girl was standing, waiting to use it so I told her that she can just go ahead since I still had some credit left. She had a look on her face like if I was kidding or something. I dunno, it seems like these days, people don't expect any good thing done to them that if you act kind or corteous, they're just in shock that someone was nice to them. That made me feel good inside so I stepped aside by my luggage and was sweating and looking around trying to find a familiar face. And right when I looked at the stairs, a guy in a brown leather jacket, waved at me smiling, and all the anger from the day before just went away and all I can think of was how glad I was that I came.
London town
I would not have imagined that I'd be making a last minute trip to London out of all places. It's still one of the places I've considered going but with no rush. If this would have been (I'll admit) in the Spice Girls' heydays, I would have hopped on a plane in a record to have seen them hehe. So moving along.. I booked a 7-day trip for London to see Daniel though it wasn't 'til mid-week that I got to meet him.
So the flight to Seattle from Japan ended up being delayed for about four hours which I really didn't mind. Considering my original arrival time in Seattle would have been around 9 am , then leaving for London eight hours later at 6 pm. So that kinda did me good. Setting it back a few hours, less time to kill. Feel bad for the other passengers though, who had to take connection flights with little time in between but yeah, they would have made it sooner or later. It was funny just watching some people get real pissed about the delay. I probably would have been too if I would have missed my flight, but am not, so I can take the delay in stride. I just chuckled listening to what they were saying. Oh yeah this is about London huh..
So arrived in London on a Sunday, around 1130 with my friend Jim instead that's going to be picking me up. I was all smiling with the plane finally landing at Heathrow Airport. The flight was interesting enough since I sat next to a couple who lived and worked at the same base that I just came out of. Me and the man were talking for a bit. 'Twas funny considering I was dreading having to sit next to them since they seemed stuck up a little when I just got on. Ended up waiting for about an hour before Jim finally made it. I was getting pissed, but just kept telling myself that "Hey, you're in England now. A bit of a wait won't kill ya." And I guess the prospect of just getting to see Daniel later on was enough to keep me calm. Jim finally arrived so it was all good. It was nice getting to hang with him in person after about a year of waiting. With him moving and everything, we've mostly kept in touch through e-mails or phone calls which I usually initiated. I'll do admit I like talking on the phone though it has wreaked havoc on my wallet from time to time. But I just really didn't mind I guess, money's nothing compared to the happiness I feel whenever I talk to my loved ones whether it be family or even just friends.
So boarded on a bus that'll take us to the tube station bound for wherever Jim lives at. We made a stop midway though since we got hungry. The excitement's in full gear too considering I didn't mind having to lag around two suitcase around the train station and up the stairs to get to the street. We made a stop at Piccadilly Circus and grabbed a bite at Pizza Hut and talked for a little while. Really didn't do much for the day since we still had to go back to his house to get settled. The tube ride to where we needed to make the stop wasn't really that far. What I didn't know was that he had to drive like 90 mins to get to that said train station called Redbridge. There I was bitching to him about having to wait for an hour at the airport lol.. So ended up thanking him gladly for going through all those travelling just to pick me up.
Monday - headed out to Central London to do a little sightseeing. Got to get on a computer and ended up talking to the family for a little bit. None of the family really knew that I was making this trip and they were all expecting my phone call the previous day. I got to talk to my uncle who told me that my Aunt was there next to him, crying so ended up making a call just to actually tell her that I'm fine. My family's spread out so will just leave their whereabouts since it can be a tad confusing to others. We came by SoHo which was where the bars and clubs we're at but didn't stay since Jim got uncomfortable after some guy winked at him while we were walking.
Tuesday - the same thing pretty much. Got to see the Buckingham Palace, and had dinner at Planet Hollywood which Jim picked. Talk about acting touristy. I just went along, and it ended up alright with a cute spanish waiter and all
Wednesday - woke up all excited since this was the big day, the day that I will get to meet Daniel. Well it was good seeing Jim, but that wasn't really why I flew to London lol. So there I was, got showered and everything all smiles, thinking Yes, this is the day, this is the day. Well we had to go to base first since Jim needed to run some errands. Figured I'd text Daniel just to say hi, letting him know that I'm at Jim's as we've talked about previously to offset the cost of having to spend money on a hotel. And there was his reply back, asking how he can reach me since he needed to speak with me. Oh oh, that's not a good sign I thought and it just kinda made my excitement go away.
So dialled his number and spoke with him. Well I really didn't understand him too much on the phone except that he missed the flight for Italy that Saturday so ended up going to Oxford or some shit like that and that he got into an argument with his flatmates. I tried listening as he explained it to me some more but I think I was just real annoyed I sorta tuned out what he was saying. I really tried to be understanding coz that must have been real stressful to him as well, not getting to fly home and back, then end up having a fight with your housemates. All I can say was ok, guess we can just meet tomorrow then. Though on the inside, my mind just went through with all these thoughts and ideas. This isn't going well. Doesn't he care that I flew all the way to see him, with little rest in between, just delaying our meeting just like that. Why did I even bother with this guy.. Does he even care I came?
After the phone conversation, still had to text with him to figure out a good station for him to pick me up. So with this rage brimming inside, I had to keep calm and avoid making a snide remark even on the phone about what an idiot he is.
So the flight to Seattle from Japan ended up being delayed for about four hours which I really didn't mind. Considering my original arrival time in Seattle would have been around 9 am , then leaving for London eight hours later at 6 pm. So that kinda did me good. Setting it back a few hours, less time to kill. Feel bad for the other passengers though, who had to take connection flights with little time in between but yeah, they would have made it sooner or later. It was funny just watching some people get real pissed about the delay. I probably would have been too if I would have missed my flight, but am not, so I can take the delay in stride. I just chuckled listening to what they were saying. Oh yeah this is about London huh..
So arrived in London on a Sunday, around 1130 with my friend Jim instead that's going to be picking me up. I was all smiling with the plane finally landing at Heathrow Airport. The flight was interesting enough since I sat next to a couple who lived and worked at the same base that I just came out of. Me and the man were talking for a bit. 'Twas funny considering I was dreading having to sit next to them since they seemed stuck up a little when I just got on. Ended up waiting for about an hour before Jim finally made it. I was getting pissed, but just kept telling myself that "Hey, you're in England now. A bit of a wait won't kill ya." And I guess the prospect of just getting to see Daniel later on was enough to keep me calm. Jim finally arrived so it was all good. It was nice getting to hang with him in person after about a year of waiting. With him moving and everything, we've mostly kept in touch through e-mails or phone calls which I usually initiated. I'll do admit I like talking on the phone though it has wreaked havoc on my wallet from time to time. But I just really didn't mind I guess, money's nothing compared to the happiness I feel whenever I talk to my loved ones whether it be family or even just friends.
So boarded on a bus that'll take us to the tube station bound for wherever Jim lives at. We made a stop midway though since we got hungry. The excitement's in full gear too considering I didn't mind having to lag around two suitcase around the train station and up the stairs to get to the street. We made a stop at Piccadilly Circus and grabbed a bite at Pizza Hut and talked for a little while. Really didn't do much for the day since we still had to go back to his house to get settled. The tube ride to where we needed to make the stop wasn't really that far. What I didn't know was that he had to drive like 90 mins to get to that said train station called Redbridge. There I was bitching to him about having to wait for an hour at the airport lol.. So ended up thanking him gladly for going through all those travelling just to pick me up.
Monday - headed out to Central London to do a little sightseeing. Got to get on a computer and ended up talking to the family for a little bit. None of the family really knew that I was making this trip and they were all expecting my phone call the previous day. I got to talk to my uncle who told me that my Aunt was there next to him, crying so ended up making a call just to actually tell her that I'm fine. My family's spread out so will just leave their whereabouts since it can be a tad confusing to others. We came by SoHo which was where the bars and clubs we're at but didn't stay since Jim got uncomfortable after some guy winked at him while we were walking.
Tuesday - the same thing pretty much. Got to see the Buckingham Palace, and had dinner at Planet Hollywood which Jim picked. Talk about acting touristy. I just went along, and it ended up alright with a cute spanish waiter and all
Wednesday - woke up all excited since this was the big day, the day that I will get to meet Daniel. Well it was good seeing Jim, but that wasn't really why I flew to London lol. So there I was, got showered and everything all smiles, thinking Yes, this is the day, this is the day. Well we had to go to base first since Jim needed to run some errands. Figured I'd text Daniel just to say hi, letting him know that I'm at Jim's as we've talked about previously to offset the cost of having to spend money on a hotel. And there was his reply back, asking how he can reach me since he needed to speak with me. Oh oh, that's not a good sign I thought and it just kinda made my excitement go away.
So dialled his number and spoke with him. Well I really didn't understand him too much on the phone except that he missed the flight for Italy that Saturday so ended up going to Oxford or some shit like that and that he got into an argument with his flatmates. I tried listening as he explained it to me some more but I think I was just real annoyed I sorta tuned out what he was saying. I really tried to be understanding coz that must have been real stressful to him as well, not getting to fly home and back, then end up having a fight with your housemates. All I can say was ok, guess we can just meet tomorrow then. Though on the inside, my mind just went through with all these thoughts and ideas. This isn't going well. Doesn't he care that I flew all the way to see him, with little rest in between, just delaying our meeting just like that. Why did I even bother with this guy.. Does he even care I came?
After the phone conversation, still had to text with him to figure out a good station for him to pick me up. So with this rage brimming inside, I had to keep calm and avoid making a snide remark even on the phone about what an idiot he is.
It's been close to three weeks since I left Japan and everything's been going good really. Crazy considering I've been all over the past few weeks and got to meet interesting people, and seen different places.
London trip turned out to be great. Just what I needed in transitioning to a new life you can say. I can't imagine what things would have been like if I didn't go there. At least, I've made some memories which can make me smile at least, like now during the holidays where my cousin had to work and I stayed home. Thanks to a blogger friend Rey who gave me his itinerary about London. I didn't get to go to all the places he did, but it was still helpful. Though gotta admit, it wasn't really the town that prompted me to visit but a certain somebody. Maybe I oughta write about those seven days so I wouldn't forget though I REALLY doubt I would. To be that happy just to be with somebody, standing there just smiling as you watch them go about in the kitchen to make a meal. Wowww, so that's a glimpse of what it's like to be in love. I sure am looking forward to it :D
Am settled here in Colorado after doing a stint in Vegas, LA, and Phoenix on the way back. Me and my cousin went on a little road trip that spanned three states in five days. I was just in awe as we were nearing Las Vegas just seeing the glowing city from the distance. I wonder if I'm a moth considering bright lights really does it for me. We ended up sleeping through the first night since we were just beat having just driven around 14 hrs that day. Ended up taking the long route making our way down to New Mexico, then Arizona, then back up to LV to circumvent having to drive through Utah. Well I woke up around 4 since I was hungry so decided to step out a little to hunt for food. I eventually settled for Denny's since that was the only place I could eat in at that time of day anywho. Mann, that was just awesome getting to sit down and order off of an English menu. I was just beaming as I ask for a breakfast meal of pancakes, sausage, sunnyside up eggs and a warm glass of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream on top. Yummm. After the meal, ended up just walking to the hotel and falling back asleep. Woke up few hours later, then headed out to the mall. Malls are about the same so nothing much to say.
That night, we tried finding some gay clubs but had no luck. I was about near to tears just seeing my cousin get frustrated having to drive back and forth in the strip. I was the 'navigator' but the area map we got wasn't really helping but still, I felt like it was my fault for some reason. I just wished for the trip to end, thinking why'd we even bother with this getaway in the first place. So that, we ended up parking at the hotel and I just wanted to call it a night but Haunani (the cousin) thought otherwise. So we headed out to Caesar's Palace, and got to go in to the Pussycat Lounge and see the Pussycat Dolls perform. They had a different batch performing at the club but it was still a good watch. It's the cousin anywho who has a crush on the Dolls, so that was the motivation right there. It really didn't do much to me, maybe just a bit, as I kinda developed a crush to dark-haired Laura.
London trip turned out to be great. Just what I needed in transitioning to a new life you can say. I can't imagine what things would have been like if I didn't go there. At least, I've made some memories which can make me smile at least, like now during the holidays where my cousin had to work and I stayed home. Thanks to a blogger friend Rey who gave me his itinerary about London. I didn't get to go to all the places he did, but it was still helpful. Though gotta admit, it wasn't really the town that prompted me to visit but a certain somebody. Maybe I oughta write about those seven days so I wouldn't forget though I REALLY doubt I would. To be that happy just to be with somebody, standing there just smiling as you watch them go about in the kitchen to make a meal. Wowww, so that's a glimpse of what it's like to be in love. I sure am looking forward to it :D
Am settled here in Colorado after doing a stint in Vegas, LA, and Phoenix on the way back. Me and my cousin went on a little road trip that spanned three states in five days. I was just in awe as we were nearing Las Vegas just seeing the glowing city from the distance. I wonder if I'm a moth considering bright lights really does it for me. We ended up sleeping through the first night since we were just beat having just driven around 14 hrs that day. Ended up taking the long route making our way down to New Mexico, then Arizona, then back up to LV to circumvent having to drive through Utah. Well I woke up around 4 since I was hungry so decided to step out a little to hunt for food. I eventually settled for Denny's since that was the only place I could eat in at that time of day anywho. Mann, that was just awesome getting to sit down and order off of an English menu. I was just beaming as I ask for a breakfast meal of pancakes, sausage, sunnyside up eggs and a warm glass of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream on top. Yummm. After the meal, ended up just walking to the hotel and falling back asleep. Woke up few hours later, then headed out to the mall. Malls are about the same so nothing much to say.
That night, we tried finding some gay clubs but had no luck. I was about near to tears just seeing my cousin get frustrated having to drive back and forth in the strip. I was the 'navigator' but the area map we got wasn't really helping but still, I felt like it was my fault for some reason. I just wished for the trip to end, thinking why'd we even bother with this getaway in the first place. So that, we ended up parking at the hotel and I just wanted to call it a night but Haunani (the cousin) thought otherwise. So we headed out to Caesar's Palace, and got to go in to the Pussycat Lounge and see the Pussycat Dolls perform. They had a different batch performing at the club but it was still a good watch. It's the cousin anywho who has a crush on the Dolls, so that was the motivation right there. It really didn't do much to me, maybe just a bit, as I kinda developed a crush to dark-haired Laura.
25 December 2005
Merry Christmas
The surroundings have changed but it's still the same.
Merry Christmas from a hitori de Colorado.
Merry Christmas from a hitori de Colorado.
24 December 2005
Little adventures I
It's been close to three weeks since I left Japan and everything's been going good really. Crazy considering I've been all over the past few weeks and got to meet interesting people, and seen different places.
London trip turned out to be great. Just what I needed in transitioning to a new life you can say. I can't imagine what things would have been like if I didn't go there. At least, I've made some memories which can make me smile at least, like now during the holidays where my cousin had to work and I stayed home. Thanks to a blogger friend Rey who gave me his itinerary about London. I didn't get to go to all the places he did, but it was still helpful. Though gotta admit, it wasn't really the town that prompted me to visit but a certain somebody. Maybe I oughta write about those seven days so I wouldn't forget though I REALLY doubt I would. To be that happy just to be with somebody, standing there just smiling as you watch them go about in the kitchen to make a meal. Wowww, so that's a glimpse of what it's like to be in love. I sure am looking forward to it :D
Am settled here in Colorado after doing a stint in Vegas, LA, and Phoenix on the way back. Me and my cousin went on a little road trip that spanned three states in five days. I was just in awe as we were nearing Las Vegas just seeing the glowing city from the distance. I wonder if I'm a moth considering bright lights really does it for me. We ended up sleeping through the first night since we were just beat having just driven around 14 hrs that day. Ended up taking the long route making our way down to New Mexico, then Arizona, then back up to LV to circumvent having to drive through Utah. Well I woke up around 4 since I was hungry so decided to step out a little to hunt for food. I eventually settled for Denny's since that was the only place I could eat in at that time of day anywho. Mann, that was just awesome getting to sit down and order off of an English menu. I was just beaming as I ask for a breakfast meal of pancakes, sausage, sunnyside up eggs and a warm glass of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream on top. Yummm. After the meal, ended up just walking to the hotel and falling back asleep. Woke up few hours later, then headed out to the mall. Malls are about the same everywhere so nothing much to say.
That night, we tried finding some gay clubs but had no luck. I was about near to tears just seeing my cousin get frustrated having to drive back and forth in the strip. I was the 'navigator' but the area map we got wasn't really helping but still, I felt like it was my fault for some reason. I just wished for the trip to end, thinking why'd we even bother with this getaway in the first place. So that, we ended up parking at the hotel and I just wanted to call it a night but Haunani (the cousin) thought otherwise. So we headed out to Caesar's Palace, and got to go in to the Pussycat Lounge and see the Pussycat Dolls perform. They had a different batch performing at the club but it was still a good watch. It's the cousin anywho who has a crush on the Dolls, so that was the motivation right there. It really didn't do much to me, maybe just a bit, as I kinda had a crush to dark-haired Laura. That was about it. They did a few numbers and it was over around midnight. We just walked around the casino level and decided to call it a night since we gotta be sure to wake up on time for check out and drive out to Los Angeles afterwards...
London trip turned out to be great. Just what I needed in transitioning to a new life you can say. I can't imagine what things would have been like if I didn't go there. At least, I've made some memories which can make me smile at least, like now during the holidays where my cousin had to work and I stayed home. Thanks to a blogger friend Rey who gave me his itinerary about London. I didn't get to go to all the places he did, but it was still helpful. Though gotta admit, it wasn't really the town that prompted me to visit but a certain somebody. Maybe I oughta write about those seven days so I wouldn't forget though I REALLY doubt I would. To be that happy just to be with somebody, standing there just smiling as you watch them go about in the kitchen to make a meal. Wowww, so that's a glimpse of what it's like to be in love. I sure am looking forward to it :D
Am settled here in Colorado after doing a stint in Vegas, LA, and Phoenix on the way back. Me and my cousin went on a little road trip that spanned three states in five days. I was just in awe as we were nearing Las Vegas just seeing the glowing city from the distance. I wonder if I'm a moth considering bright lights really does it for me. We ended up sleeping through the first night since we were just beat having just driven around 14 hrs that day. Ended up taking the long route making our way down to New Mexico, then Arizona, then back up to LV to circumvent having to drive through Utah. Well I woke up around 4 since I was hungry so decided to step out a little to hunt for food. I eventually settled for Denny's since that was the only place I could eat in at that time of day anywho. Mann, that was just awesome getting to sit down and order off of an English menu. I was just beaming as I ask for a breakfast meal of pancakes, sausage, sunnyside up eggs and a warm glass of hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream on top. Yummm. After the meal, ended up just walking to the hotel and falling back asleep. Woke up few hours later, then headed out to the mall. Malls are about the same everywhere so nothing much to say.
That night, we tried finding some gay clubs but had no luck. I was about near to tears just seeing my cousin get frustrated having to drive back and forth in the strip. I was the 'navigator' but the area map we got wasn't really helping but still, I felt like it was my fault for some reason. I just wished for the trip to end, thinking why'd we even bother with this getaway in the first place. So that, we ended up parking at the hotel and I just wanted to call it a night but Haunani (the cousin) thought otherwise. So we headed out to Caesar's Palace, and got to go in to the Pussycat Lounge and see the Pussycat Dolls perform. They had a different batch performing at the club but it was still a good watch. It's the cousin anywho who has a crush on the Dolls, so that was the motivation right there. It really didn't do much to me, maybe just a bit, as I kinda had a crush to dark-haired Laura. That was about it. They did a few numbers and it was over around midnight. We just walked around the casino level and decided to call it a night since we gotta be sure to wake up on time for check out and drive out to Los Angeles afterwards...
01 December 2005
What having free time makes you do
I . . .
(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
(X) Got drunk with a good friend
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
() been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die (and he was a friend too)
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been skiing.. snowboarding
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) touched a snake (probably NEVER, they freak me out)
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
(X) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swum in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers (umm, what is this game?)
( ) recently colored with crayons
(X) sung karaoke
(X) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (threw up my lunch too)( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone roller-skating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(X) sung in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree (and had a broken arm after earth yanked me down)
(x) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) gone doorbell ditching
(x) played chicken
(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
( ) been kicked out your house
(x) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain
As they say:
feel free to play if you like... remember, Sharing is Caring...Not sure about THAT! Is it though??
(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
(X) Got drunk with a good friend
( ) stolen a car
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight
(x) snuck out of your parent's house
() been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) skipped school
(x) seen someone die (and he was a friend too)
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been skiing.. snowboarding
( ) been moshing at a concert
( ) taken painkillers
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(X) lain on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(X) made a snow angel
(X) flown a kite
(X) built a sand castle
(X) gone puddle jumping
(X) played dress up
(X) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(X) cheated while playing a game
(X) been lonely
(X) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(X) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake/tremor
( ) touched a snake (probably NEVER, they freak me out)
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
( ) had braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(X) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
(X) squished barefoot through the mud
(X) been lost
(X) been to the opposite side of the country
(X) swum in the ocean
(X) felt like dying
(X) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers (umm, what is this game?)
( ) recently colored with crayons
(X) sung karaoke
(X) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) made prank phone calls
(X) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (threw up my lunch too)( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone roller-skating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(X) sung in the shower
(x) had a dream that you married someone
( ) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didn't take a shower for a week
( ) pick and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree (and had a broken arm after earth yanked me down)
(x) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
(x) believe in ghosts
( ) have more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
(x) gone doorbell ditching
(x) played chicken
(x) jumped into a pool/hot tub/lake with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
( ) caught a fish then ate it
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
( ) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) French braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool
( ) been threatened to be kicked out of your house
( ) been kicked out your house
(x) have had a fantasy over someone you love as a good friend
( ) sun tanned naked
( ) ran naked in the rain
As they say:
feel free to play if you like... remember, Sharing is Caring...Not sure about THAT! Is it though??
22 November 2005
If you shoot an arrow...
The move is finally done with. Today was the 2nd day that the packers came by to take everything away for shipping. I had three days of appointment, yesterday was when they picked up my unaccompanied baggage. Those are pretty much the essentials such as kitchenware, seasonal clothing, stuff that you would need when you move to a new location. Television, dvd player, all those stayed behind but the computer :D It better be in Virginia when I get there.. if not, heh I'll live. I was a bit freaked to be honest considering this will be the first time where I PCS'ed (permanent change of station). So really wasn't sure how to go about at doing things. I ended up being awake all night Sunday, then pretty much all day Monday. My sleep's been messed up after getting off of the nightshift. I've been trying to stay awake all day, but still fell asleep in the afternoon and waking up around midnight, then repeat.
It felt weird seeing all my stuff packed away. It didn't hit me until the second day they came back to pack everything else. Most I could really do was stand around, since they do everything for you. So I stood back at the porch as I watch them work. I got teary-eyed just looking since that was the first time where it struck me that this is it, I'm finally gonnabe leaving. It felt good too, well seeing all of these things I'd been able to have over the years. I'm really thankful for the opportunity of being able to just buy something I liked or wanted. I came to Japan with only two suitcase and nothing else. Finally getting to be able to actually own things, it felt real good. It could have been something like a magazine, a pair of shoes, or even my computer, getting to finally afford them psyches me out from time to time. It really isn't much when you think about it, but it really means a lot to me. To a child who's never had the chance to actually have something he wanted, this was a giant leap. I'm real thankful to my family though, since they provided me with everything I needed. Well not my mom and dad, but my mom's side of the family who were working abroad. They pretty much helped us out from the time I was a baby, until I was 16 after which I moved to the States. It's different when things are given to you, and getting to pick something that you actually wanted. Once in a while, being a kid, you really can't help not to comment about how you'd rather have something else. And being told to just shut up, and be grateful for what you get does something to a kid. It sorta made me lose my wishing and wanting sense, that after I moved in with my dad, and him telling me to just say so if I wanted something, that was a major leap which I just didn't know how to take. It was even scary, that I just didn't know what to with this power, so to speak, that it kinda ruined my living with him and his family. I just smile about it now when I look back, but I wonder at times what it could have been like if I ended up just staying with them until I finished university and everything. Hee hee. Good ole sunny Californ-I-A.
But going back, lol, I have about 10 days left in Japan. I'm staying in the hotel at the moment (billeting, as we call it) and pretty much just doing nothing. I gotta go back to the apartment tomorrow so they can pick up the furnitures they lent me, and see the landlord later that day to get my lease terminated. Air Force is awesome, lol, giving you rent money and even letting you borrow furnitures. But really, I can't wait to get out! It's been really great, but I wanna see what the "real world" is really like. Maybe I can get on the show, hmmmmmm...
Perhaps, I'll make that Sanrio Land trip and take some pictures for this one person. Maybe that might really do it and get him to visit Japan :D Japan's a really great place to see, the clash with the ancient and the modern times is just amazing. Temples right in the heart of the city, traditional outfits in between the suits and the sub-cultures is just wowww. Maybe I can write more about it, I shouldn't promise though. It'll be better for it to just show up than me talking about doing it. Japan will always have a special place in my heart. I had most of my firsts happen here. First time to the beach (despite of living in the islands this whole time growing up) Nooo, not the Bahamas or any of the Caribbean Islands. First time I got wined and dined. Got wasted for the first time. Even get my heart broken. Broke some afterwards because of it which I'm not too proud about. Get close to getting laid, but not knowing the "signals" lol. Mann, if I could go back to that day... :D
Heh, it's been good. Friday was great too. Got to speak to my ex-boss which I rarely spoke with when I was running around to get some paper signed. Let's just say I blushed like crazy, for a good 5 minutes which seemed was taking forever! But it was great. I'll elaborate more later. At least, it was a good blush. Not the type where you get called down to an office and get asked about pictures (the type you really wouldn't want anyone to see, not naked ones either!) that you forgot that you placed on the network drive two years earlier. Talk about the past biting you in the butt.
Trip to London has been finalized so that's a trip I'm looking forward to as well. Because of time restraints with my cousin's schedule, I'm flying to London right after I land in the States. I really can't take a direct flight from London coz the mil just wouldn't let me. So will land in Seattle at 9 am, then catch a plane at 6 pm bound for London. Will be seeing my old friend Jim that lives there now, though the trip was mainly to see a guy that I met online, Niel. We spoke right on a perfect timing, with me leaving Japan and everything.
Maybe I can talk about him a bit. We briefly spoke Aug 2004, then nothing else. It wasn't until about four weeks ago, that he IM'ed me out of the blue. Didn't realize I gave him my new ID. And we got to talking for a good three hours during which I got to see him on cam, and hear him talk. He talked about meeting, though I really didn't give it much of a thought, with being in a different country and all. We've spoken a few more times after that, and he was really adamant about doing so. That if he wasn't in some language courses in London, he would have flown already to see me. So I figured, what's there to lose really. I'll get to see London at least, and visit my friend Jim so why not. Niel has offered to pay for half of my trip, though I'm debating whether to take him up on his offer. He mentioned about flying out to the States after I've been living there so will see how it all goes. I've had my friend Jim speak to him on the phone as well, and Jim said that Niel was a really nice guy. They might go meet up over the weekend, after much persuasion with telling Jim to do so. He's freaking out that Niel might hit on him. Sheeeshh, typical straight man. Hahaha
Well it's close to 5 am so will probably just go back up to my room and watch a movie perhaps. I have 48 hrs to knock out: Kiki's Delivery Service, A Castle in the Sky, Constantine, and Happy Endings. All of the shoppette's DVD has disappeared somehow. They had a great collection before they were renovated, I think they might have sold almost all of it, but they barely had any stuff to choose from when I came tonight. Didn't want to leave empty-handed so will see how the viewing goes.
Saw the documentary "Paris Is Burning" and it was a good watch. It was pretty much about "Vogue" which was popularized by Madonna in the early 90's, from what I've read somewhere. I can vaguely recall her music video for it, but it was nice to see where it all started. The topic didn't really interest me too much before I got it, it was simply these lines that prompted me to check it out:
"Everybody wants to leave something behind them, some impression, some mark upon the world. And then you think, you've left a mark on the world if you just get through it and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the world. I think it's better just to enjoy it. Pay your dues and enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you."
It felt weird seeing all my stuff packed away. It didn't hit me until the second day they came back to pack everything else. Most I could really do was stand around, since they do everything for you. So I stood back at the porch as I watch them work. I got teary-eyed just looking since that was the first time where it struck me that this is it, I'm finally gonnabe leaving. It felt good too, well seeing all of these things I'd been able to have over the years. I'm really thankful for the opportunity of being able to just buy something I liked or wanted. I came to Japan with only two suitcase and nothing else. Finally getting to be able to actually own things, it felt real good. It could have been something like a magazine, a pair of shoes, or even my computer, getting to finally afford them psyches me out from time to time. It really isn't much when you think about it, but it really means a lot to me. To a child who's never had the chance to actually have something he wanted, this was a giant leap. I'm real thankful to my family though, since they provided me with everything I needed. Well not my mom and dad, but my mom's side of the family who were working abroad. They pretty much helped us out from the time I was a baby, until I was 16 after which I moved to the States. It's different when things are given to you, and getting to pick something that you actually wanted. Once in a while, being a kid, you really can't help not to comment about how you'd rather have something else. And being told to just shut up, and be grateful for what you get does something to a kid. It sorta made me lose my wishing and wanting sense, that after I moved in with my dad, and him telling me to just say so if I wanted something, that was a major leap which I just didn't know how to take. It was even scary, that I just didn't know what to with this power, so to speak, that it kinda ruined my living with him and his family. I just smile about it now when I look back, but I wonder at times what it could have been like if I ended up just staying with them until I finished university and everything. Hee hee. Good ole sunny Californ-I-A.
But going back, lol, I have about 10 days left in Japan. I'm staying in the hotel at the moment (billeting, as we call it) and pretty much just doing nothing. I gotta go back to the apartment tomorrow so they can pick up the furnitures they lent me, and see the landlord later that day to get my lease terminated. Air Force is awesome, lol, giving you rent money and even letting you borrow furnitures. But really, I can't wait to get out! It's been really great, but I wanna see what the "real world" is really like. Maybe I can get on the show, hmmmmmm...
Perhaps, I'll make that Sanrio Land trip and take some pictures for this one person. Maybe that might really do it and get him to visit Japan :D Japan's a really great place to see, the clash with the ancient and the modern times is just amazing. Temples right in the heart of the city, traditional outfits in between the suits and the sub-cultures is just wowww. Maybe I can write more about it, I shouldn't promise though. It'll be better for it to just show up than me talking about doing it. Japan will always have a special place in my heart. I had most of my firsts happen here. First time to the beach (despite of living in the islands this whole time growing up) Nooo, not the Bahamas or any of the Caribbean Islands. First time I got wined and dined. Got wasted for the first time. Even get my heart broken. Broke some afterwards because of it which I'm not too proud about. Get close to getting laid, but not knowing the "signals" lol. Mann, if I could go back to that day... :D
Heh, it's been good. Friday was great too. Got to speak to my ex-boss which I rarely spoke with when I was running around to get some paper signed. Let's just say I blushed like crazy, for a good 5 minutes which seemed was taking forever! But it was great. I'll elaborate more later. At least, it was a good blush. Not the type where you get called down to an office and get asked about pictures (the type you really wouldn't want anyone to see, not naked ones either!) that you forgot that you placed on the network drive two years earlier. Talk about the past biting you in the butt.
Trip to London has been finalized so that's a trip I'm looking forward to as well. Because of time restraints with my cousin's schedule, I'm flying to London right after I land in the States. I really can't take a direct flight from London coz the mil just wouldn't let me. So will land in Seattle at 9 am, then catch a plane at 6 pm bound for London. Will be seeing my old friend Jim that lives there now, though the trip was mainly to see a guy that I met online, Niel. We spoke right on a perfect timing, with me leaving Japan and everything.
Maybe I can talk about him a bit. We briefly spoke Aug 2004, then nothing else. It wasn't until about four weeks ago, that he IM'ed me out of the blue. Didn't realize I gave him my new ID. And we got to talking for a good three hours during which I got to see him on cam, and hear him talk. He talked about meeting, though I really didn't give it much of a thought, with being in a different country and all. We've spoken a few more times after that, and he was really adamant about doing so. That if he wasn't in some language courses in London, he would have flown already to see me. So I figured, what's there to lose really. I'll get to see London at least, and visit my friend Jim so why not. Niel has offered to pay for half of my trip, though I'm debating whether to take him up on his offer. He mentioned about flying out to the States after I've been living there so will see how it all goes. I've had my friend Jim speak to him on the phone as well, and Jim said that Niel was a really nice guy. They might go meet up over the weekend, after much persuasion with telling Jim to do so. He's freaking out that Niel might hit on him. Sheeeshh, typical straight man. Hahaha
Well it's close to 5 am so will probably just go back up to my room and watch a movie perhaps. I have 48 hrs to knock out: Kiki's Delivery Service, A Castle in the Sky, Constantine, and Happy Endings. All of the shoppette's DVD has disappeared somehow. They had a great collection before they were renovated, I think they might have sold almost all of it, but they barely had any stuff to choose from when I came tonight. Didn't want to leave empty-handed so will see how the viewing goes.
Saw the documentary "Paris Is Burning" and it was a good watch. It was pretty much about "Vogue" which was popularized by Madonna in the early 90's, from what I've read somewhere. I can vaguely recall her music video for it, but it was nice to see where it all started. The topic didn't really interest me too much before I got it, it was simply these lines that prompted me to check it out:
"Everybody wants to leave something behind them, some impression, some mark upon the world. And then you think, you've left a mark on the world if you just get through it and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the world. I think it's better just to enjoy it. Pay your dues and enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you."
09 November 2005
Said Hey! What's going on...
Wowww, it's been almost two weeks since I last wrote something.. Talk about discipline! Working the 12-hr shifts really made the time go by, it seems. One more week and I'm off! Suweeeeet. Hmm, can't really remember much what happened the past 14 days. But pretty much, waking up, watch a tv show or something, work 12 hrs, go home, sleep, repeat.
I've pretty much just been doing some outprocessing any chance I get. Pretty much means I have a checklist that I'm gonna need to get completed, or can't leave this base. Got everything set up as for dates that my stuff are gonna get packed and picked up, personal items, household goods, and the furniture they let me borrow during my stay. I've gotten a fly out date though I might shift my vacation a bit and stop by London right after landing in the states. The said person who resurfaced two weeks ago has asked me to stop by London, and I'm actually considering it, crazy as that might be. I've only spoken to him twice since then, and yet he's real adamant about getting to meet up. Umm, I guess I can say I fancy him a bit *blushes*
It's real silly when I think about it really, but he has his way of words as for getting me to visit. Name is Daniel and he's Italian going to some sort of aircraft school in London at the moment.
I've got a good friend that lives there now anywho, so I will go visit him as well. Haven't seen him close to a year, but pretty much talked to him through email or on the phone, daily. I get bored at work, and so does he so it works out both ways. I'm still giving it some thought considering I could only stay there for less than a week since I'm gonna spend some time with my cousin who I haven't seen in two years.
We're both doing time...errrr.. serving with the military ehe. Last time I saw her was here in Japan when she visited Jun 03 which ended up becoming a 90-day vacation.
Really looking forward to seeing her, and getting to do stuff with her. Go clubbing, go on a long drives with, or just having her near and just talking about things. Drive down all the way to Cali which should be a blast. LA, maybe even San Diego if it's not too far. I've heard it's pretty nice out.
So yeah, that's about what's been going on really. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll write about Kyoto while the trip is still fresh in my mind.
I've pretty much just been doing some outprocessing any chance I get. Pretty much means I have a checklist that I'm gonna need to get completed, or can't leave this base. Got everything set up as for dates that my stuff are gonna get packed and picked up, personal items, household goods, and the furniture they let me borrow during my stay. I've gotten a fly out date though I might shift my vacation a bit and stop by London right after landing in the states. The said person who resurfaced two weeks ago has asked me to stop by London, and I'm actually considering it, crazy as that might be. I've only spoken to him twice since then, and yet he's real adamant about getting to meet up. Umm, I guess I can say I fancy him a bit *blushes*
It's real silly when I think about it really, but he has his way of words as for getting me to visit. Name is Daniel and he's Italian going to some sort of aircraft school in London at the moment.
I've got a good friend that lives there now anywho, so I will go visit him as well. Haven't seen him close to a year, but pretty much talked to him through email or on the phone, daily. I get bored at work, and so does he so it works out both ways. I'm still giving it some thought considering I could only stay there for less than a week since I'm gonna spend some time with my cousin who I haven't seen in two years.
We're both doing time...errrr.. serving with the military ehe. Last time I saw her was here in Japan when she visited Jun 03 which ended up becoming a 90-day vacation.
Really looking forward to seeing her, and getting to do stuff with her. Go clubbing, go on a long drives with, or just having her near and just talking about things. Drive down all the way to Cali which should be a blast. LA, maybe even San Diego if it's not too far. I've heard it's pretty nice out.
So yeah, that's about what's been going on really. Perhaps tomorrow, I'll write about Kyoto while the trip is still fresh in my mind.
26 October 2005
I dunno what to do
Ten hours out of the shift and I pretty much is running out of things to do. I'm working back at the helpdesk though am not sure if working nights is really a good idea. I pretty much sit here and not do a whole lot since we barely get phone calls during the shift. It drags from time to time, like tonight and I really don't know what to do. I'm getting bored of reading stuff, as much as I enjoy reading, I just have no idea what to surf about.
Pretty much emailing back and forth with my friend through out the night so that made the shift a bit more fun. He left 10 months ago and we pretty much just been doing that this whole time, I dunno coz it must be real hard for him being all the way there and his fiancee here in Japan. Or perhaps, I just like the feeling that I'm needed. Nah, it works both ways. He enjoys "talking" back and forth as much as I do, and he's pretty much the only one I can talk to about things that bother me, especially with the family. It's usually the family that you turn to for any problems that you have, but if it's them that you are having troubles dealing with, who do you turn to really?
So that, we kinda got to talking about what I'm gonna be when I'm on leave (or vacation) I was considering going to London now, even for just about 2 weeks over the holidays. The ticket cost is pretty much cheap anywho, for about $600, I can fly to the UK from Colorado, and that is for a round trip ticket. At first, I was gonna do a hop in a few states but then again, why rush considering I'm moving to Virginia this January. Saw this one girl's blog and I got all excited since she was doing a road trip all over the states. I've always wanted to try that but with some things beyond my control back then, age, money, amongst others, I didn't get to do so. And now, i'm close to getting to do those things and yet it feels so far away.
I got to talking to my coworker about living in Japan and everything. We sorta focused on the loneliness that is hard to avoid when you're amongst the locals. How you go off base and out to the city to help brush off the loneliness that one feels from time to time. And yet, it just worsens since you just feel so out of place with all these people surrounding you, and yet not even one you can talk to or relate to. It's probably not the case but with the difference in appearance and the language barrier, it just makes it even harder. With me living off base, I've been getting that feeling more often since I really can't just step out down the hall and knock on a friend's door. Most people I've spoken would give their front teeth just to get to move to an apartment, and yet there I was thinking "it's not really that great." Maybe it's just me....
It feels like I just want the next five weeks to breeze by and finally get out of this place. Yet at the same time, as my departure would near, everything here will just seem too precious. From going to the "bento" to get a meal to have, to the convenience store to pay the bills. I could go on and on, but isn't that the case though? Things only seem precious when they are close to an end, whether it be a time spent with someone, moving to a different place, or getting a different job.
Isn't it crazy how people resurface back into your life? People you haven't spoken with for almost a year, and ooopsiee, there they are like nothing even happened. It's like WTF? and yet you really don't question them, as much as you'd want. You just go on talking like there wasn't even that gap in between. Happened with two people this past two days. I'm real glad though :D I've had more and more online friends than I ever did and I'm thankful for that. Well not always lol. I get jaded on some days and think what's the point of even having online friends. These are people you wouldn't even meet in a lifetime and yet you waste all these time on them. Yet, my heart always knows better. It makes me remember that behind that piece of metal are actual human beings just like me, who are "wasting their time" as much as I was. Ahh, the little prince story comes into play. Per the fox's words though it would have to be adjusted a little "It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
Pretty much emailing back and forth with my friend through out the night so that made the shift a bit more fun. He left 10 months ago and we pretty much just been doing that this whole time, I dunno coz it must be real hard for him being all the way there and his fiancee here in Japan. Or perhaps, I just like the feeling that I'm needed. Nah, it works both ways. He enjoys "talking" back and forth as much as I do, and he's pretty much the only one I can talk to about things that bother me, especially with the family. It's usually the family that you turn to for any problems that you have, but if it's them that you are having troubles dealing with, who do you turn to really?
So that, we kinda got to talking about what I'm gonna be when I'm on leave (or vacation) I was considering going to London now, even for just about 2 weeks over the holidays. The ticket cost is pretty much cheap anywho, for about $600, I can fly to the UK from Colorado, and that is for a round trip ticket. At first, I was gonna do a hop in a few states but then again, why rush considering I'm moving to Virginia this January. Saw this one girl's blog and I got all excited since she was doing a road trip all over the states. I've always wanted to try that but with some things beyond my control back then, age, money, amongst others, I didn't get to do so. And now, i'm close to getting to do those things and yet it feels so far away.
I got to talking to my coworker about living in Japan and everything. We sorta focused on the loneliness that is hard to avoid when you're amongst the locals. How you go off base and out to the city to help brush off the loneliness that one feels from time to time. And yet, it just worsens since you just feel so out of place with all these people surrounding you, and yet not even one you can talk to or relate to. It's probably not the case but with the difference in appearance and the language barrier, it just makes it even harder. With me living off base, I've been getting that feeling more often since I really can't just step out down the hall and knock on a friend's door. Most people I've spoken would give their front teeth just to get to move to an apartment, and yet there I was thinking "it's not really that great." Maybe it's just me....
It feels like I just want the next five weeks to breeze by and finally get out of this place. Yet at the same time, as my departure would near, everything here will just seem too precious. From going to the "bento" to get a meal to have, to the convenience store to pay the bills. I could go on and on, but isn't that the case though? Things only seem precious when they are close to an end, whether it be a time spent with someone, moving to a different place, or getting a different job.
Isn't it crazy how people resurface back into your life? People you haven't spoken with for almost a year, and ooopsiee, there they are like nothing even happened. It's like WTF? and yet you really don't question them, as much as you'd want. You just go on talking like there wasn't even that gap in between. Happened with two people this past two days. I'm real glad though :D I've had more and more online friends than I ever did and I'm thankful for that. Well not always lol. I get jaded on some days and think what's the point of even having online friends. These are people you wouldn't even meet in a lifetime and yet you waste all these time on them. Yet, my heart always knows better. It makes me remember that behind that piece of metal are actual human beings just like me, who are "wasting their time" as much as I was. Ahh, the little prince story comes into play. Per the fox's words though it would have to be adjusted a little "It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
21 October 2005
Looking back
Whoooo, this week sure flew by. Could have updated earlier but I guess laziness kicked in. Either that, or sorta lack of inactivity. I'm doing this Friday night 1/4 into the shift.
I was off up until Sunday night last week and really didn't go anywhere to do stuff. I wanted to but it was taking forever to decide where to go so ended up just staying in both days. Helped out a little for the set up for the Asian bazaar (an even where there's a hangar full of stuff you can buy; furnitures, decors, swords, even some traditional Japanese outfit). I ended up just working for an hour since it got me tired hauling the trash out back and forth for like 20 times. I was gonna help out Saturday but decided against it since it was my day off.
Hmm, Saturday I went by the bazaar and ended up picking up some things. I sure did came back for this one lamp that I eyed when I was helping out Friday and somehow was debating whether to buy it or not, but still bought it though. Seems like I have a thing for lamps lol. I dunno, as much as I don't like bulbs, I don't mind them too much on lamps. I just love that cozy atmosphere it gives out whether it be in the bedroom or the living room. Maybe I can take a pic of it later on. I also got some mink blankets for me and my mom. Well i liked the one that's got the wolves in it in the forest and for her, pretty much a tiger that takes up the whole thing. She asked me if I can get her one a while ago and I was like NO! Hehe, I'm sure she'd be happy when she gets it on the mail. Will try to have it out before I leave Japan, so it'll be a bit cheaper instead of sending it from the states. Also got a stepkansu (the pic) to give to the family probably. Unless I take interest after seeing it out on display lol. It is nice though, so if I changed my mind I can just keep it to meself ha!
Hmm tried staying up late Saturday night so I can sleep in during Sunday, and get ready for night shift. It dragged on the first night since we're doing 12-hr shifts at the moment in what is called a Panama schedule. Pretty much, it goes: 2 on - 2 off - 3 on - 3 off. I've thought your days off changes every week but apparently you get every other weekend off which isn't bad. It was a bit long but it was nice. We don't get too many phone calls but just being out here again is a joy in itself.
So worked two more days during which I've made converts out of my coworkers once again. And nooo, it's not to Islam or anything like that! I got them to watch Arrested Development and they both liked it so mission accomplished. I oughta get paid for that or something. Neh, it's good enough I've made them into a fan of the show. Is that just normal or what? If I like something, I sorta push it on other people, but in a good way. I dunno, a way of sharing I guess. Eventhough I've seen the episodes of a show over and over, for example, I'd watch it all over again if I'm with someone who's never seen it, much less heard of it. So that's all set, we knocked out a whole season in 36 hrs working time :D
Oh yeah, I had a customer who I should keep a note of. He was trying to check his email from home, and is havening some trouble trying to get in. He was getting an error that I've never seen or heard of either lol so I did research up on it and didn't find anything sadly. It seems that it was only his end though since I can get to it just fine from work. We got to talking for a bit, so that's cool. At one time, I ended up talking with a customer for a good hour. It's nice though, since they give you advice on different things. With some, they've even mentioned their goals, and dreams those kind of stuff. And I love just that, getting an insight into somebody else's life, even in a small way. We didn't get to fix his problem, but that conversation made my night. He even emailed personally just to say thanks. The type of customer that you wouldn't mind bending over backwards.
Wednesday, can't remember what I did. :(
Thursday, I finally got my fly out date. YIPPPEEEE! I was a bit confused with what route to take lol, since I was intending to make stops in different places. But it's all set now. It feels so much better knowing a date instead of being in a limbo as to when I'm gonna be leaving. I fly out to Seattle from Japan, and then from there fly to Colorado on a flight which I have yet to get. It's weird since I fly to CO, back to WA, then fly out to VA on my departure date. Reason being is my friend is gonna try to go on leave and go home to WA so yeah, that's pretty much why I'm doing this weird itinerary. That way, I can stay in Seattle for a few days at least. Though I have no idea what to expect considering I've never been there.
I was up til about 6, and I really wish I had somebody to hang out on times like this. I just about run out of things to do, watch DVD, chat (which is getting old), or surf the net. Times that I miss living with someone from time to time. Yeah they say solitude is good yada, yada, but there's just some times where it gets a bit too much. Then when I do indeed live with someone, think Gah, i wanna be alone again. so dunno? Whatcha think? Always wanting something you haven't got.
I was off up until Sunday night last week and really didn't go anywhere to do stuff. I wanted to but it was taking forever to decide where to go so ended up just staying in both days. Helped out a little for the set up for the Asian bazaar (an even where there's a hangar full of stuff you can buy; furnitures, decors, swords, even some traditional Japanese outfit). I ended up just working for an hour since it got me tired hauling the trash out back and forth for like 20 times. I was gonna help out Saturday but decided against it since it was my day off.
Hmm, Saturday I went by the bazaar and ended up picking up some things. I sure did came back for this one lamp that I eyed when I was helping out Friday and somehow was debating whether to buy it or not, but still bought it though. Seems like I have a thing for lamps lol. I dunno, as much as I don't like bulbs, I don't mind them too much on lamps. I just love that cozy atmosphere it gives out whether it be in the bedroom or the living room. Maybe I can take a pic of it later on. I also got some mink blankets for me and my mom. Well i liked the one that's got the wolves in it in the forest and for her, pretty much a tiger that takes up the whole thing. She asked me if I can get her one a while ago and I was like NO! Hehe, I'm sure she'd be happy when she gets it on the mail. Will try to have it out before I leave Japan, so it'll be a bit cheaper instead of sending it from the states. Also got a stepkansu (the pic) to give to the family probably. Unless I take interest after seeing it out on display lol. It is nice though, so if I changed my mind I can just keep it to meself ha!Hmm tried staying up late Saturday night so I can sleep in during Sunday, and get ready for night shift. It dragged on the first night since we're doing 12-hr shifts at the moment in what is called a Panama schedule. Pretty much, it goes: 2 on - 2 off - 3 on - 3 off. I've thought your days off changes every week but apparently you get every other weekend off which isn't bad. It was a bit long but it was nice. We don't get too many phone calls but just being out here again is a joy in itself.
So worked two more days during which I've made converts out of my coworkers once again. And nooo, it's not to Islam or anything like that! I got them to watch Arrested Development and they both liked it so mission accomplished. I oughta get paid for that or something. Neh, it's good enough I've made them into a fan of the show. Is that just normal or what? If I like something, I sorta push it on other people, but in a good way. I dunno, a way of sharing I guess. Eventhough I've seen the episodes of a show over and over, for example, I'd watch it all over again if I'm with someone who's never seen it, much less heard of it. So that's all set, we knocked out a whole season in 36 hrs working time :D
Oh yeah, I had a customer who I should keep a note of. He was trying to check his email from home, and is havening some trouble trying to get in. He was getting an error that I've never seen or heard of either lol so I did research up on it and didn't find anything sadly. It seems that it was only his end though since I can get to it just fine from work. We got to talking for a bit, so that's cool. At one time, I ended up talking with a customer for a good hour. It's nice though, since they give you advice on different things. With some, they've even mentioned their goals, and dreams those kind of stuff. And I love just that, getting an insight into somebody else's life, even in a small way. We didn't get to fix his problem, but that conversation made my night. He even emailed personally just to say thanks. The type of customer that you wouldn't mind bending over backwards.
Wednesday, can't remember what I did. :(
Thursday, I finally got my fly out date. YIPPPEEEE! I was a bit confused with what route to take lol, since I was intending to make stops in different places. But it's all set now. It feels so much better knowing a date instead of being in a limbo as to when I'm gonna be leaving. I fly out to Seattle from Japan, and then from there fly to Colorado on a flight which I have yet to get. It's weird since I fly to CO, back to WA, then fly out to VA on my departure date. Reason being is my friend is gonna try to go on leave and go home to WA so yeah, that's pretty much why I'm doing this weird itinerary. That way, I can stay in Seattle for a few days at least. Though I have no idea what to expect considering I've never been there.
I was up til about 6, and I really wish I had somebody to hang out on times like this. I just about run out of things to do, watch DVD, chat (which is getting old), or surf the net. Times that I miss living with someone from time to time. Yeah they say solitude is good yada, yada, but there's just some times where it gets a bit too much. Then when I do indeed live with someone, think Gah, i wanna be alone again. so dunno? Whatcha think? Always wanting something you haven't got.
14 October 2005
I just wanna be close, really close to someone who will leave me alone
Week's certainly over, and it felt like it dragged despite of me working for just three days. Sorta been a crazy week coz of some issues we're trying to handle at work. With me working with computers, I'm assigned to a shop that pushes out patches, and updates to the network due to vulnerabilities and bugs that Microsoft usually has. It's funny sometimes to think that this time last year, I was in a yet familiar territory and dealing with close to the same emotions. I got moved to my current shop around this time last year, and hated, well scratch that (hate is such a strong word lol, according to an old friend), disliked working there from the beginning. It was enticing at first really, but the excitement wore off immediately. It got so bad that I felt I had no way out that I tried getting out of my extension (it's where I'd have to do an extra year here in Japan instead of the usual two year tour) which as you can tell, didn't happen. I tried to make the best of this shop, but it is just hard. You come in, check the status of how many computers got patched. If not, import the noncompliant's list to a spreadsheet and remote to each computer one by one and patch them manually. *What we use is called Systems Management Server which is a software that's used to push out software upgrades, and patches to other computers, amongst other things. It'll also let you troubleshoot other people's problems from your end, when they could be miles away from your location. SMS will actually let you take over the computer and control the mouse and the keyboard. Well with one update, there were still around 1800 machines that needed it and considerin it was due (tomorrow), it was a bit upsetting. Having to call the WGM's up and checking with them how they're doing with patching. Heh, all these acronyms you'd end up learning in the mil.
All this pretty much comes down to is I'm leaving the shop and going back to the Helpdesk (renamed to Communications Focal Point - CFP, then to Missions Operations Center - MOC) They were gonna call it Communications Operations Center but acronyms wouldn't sound too good with that, when answering the phone. I go back to it this Sunday, and that really made me glad. Dunno, I was at peace once again, knowing I'm gonna be doing something I enjoy doing. Everybody else doesn't like working there really, as people have voiced out. I'm probably one of the few, umm more like THE only one who likes working there. True, it's got its moments, but it was something that I looked forward coming to everyday. Glad that I get to work, and not Gah, I got to work again. I'm trying to put this saying into play, "Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life" Though only about 6 more weeks for me.
Was off today but it sorta felt like a workday. Got up at 1000, and talked to my mom for at least two hours. Our conversations tend to last that long, ended up talking about the same things as before, which always has the comedy, and the drama midway through. So did that, and got ready to do some volunteering for setting up for a bazaar the next two days. Ended up staying for an hour since it was pretty much hauling things out to the dumpster back and forth, which feels like an eternity for someone who loves manual labor....not
It was lovely outside, the sun was up and shining. The breeze was just perfect to stroll around the streets, soaking it all in. I sometimes wish I had my loved ones with me, just to share these moments with them. That's not the case though, but that doesn't stop me from looking up and hoping they see the same sun I am. Do you see it?
All this pretty much comes down to is I'm leaving the shop and going back to the Helpdesk (renamed to Communications Focal Point - CFP, then to Missions Operations Center - MOC) They were gonna call it Communications Operations Center but acronyms wouldn't sound too good with that, when answering the phone. I go back to it this Sunday, and that really made me glad. Dunno, I was at peace once again, knowing I'm gonna be doing something I enjoy doing. Everybody else doesn't like working there really, as people have voiced out. I'm probably one of the few, umm more like THE only one who likes working there. True, it's got its moments, but it was something that I looked forward coming to everyday. Glad that I get to work, and not Gah, I got to work again. I'm trying to put this saying into play, "Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life" Though only about 6 more weeks for me.
Was off today but it sorta felt like a workday. Got up at 1000, and talked to my mom for at least two hours. Our conversations tend to last that long, ended up talking about the same things as before, which always has the comedy, and the drama midway through. So did that, and got ready to do some volunteering for setting up for a bazaar the next two days. Ended up staying for an hour since it was pretty much hauling things out to the dumpster back and forth, which feels like an eternity for someone who loves manual labor....not
It was lovely outside, the sun was up and shining. The breeze was just perfect to stroll around the streets, soaking it all in. I sometimes wish I had my loved ones with me, just to share these moments with them. That's not the case though, but that doesn't stop me from looking up and hoping they see the same sun I am. Do you see it?
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