I can't believe this

I never did this when I was a kid but tonight I sat next to my mom in
her bed and admitted to being lonely when she asked me. I didn't stay
long since with her trying to console me, I got annoyed with some
things she said. What the duck's wrong with me sometimes? It's the
first day since C- and the dog left for Chicago. It'll take a little
getting used to. Did I get what I wanted though? I need to go
somewhere just for a while... It won't be for a few more weeks though,
with school not being over til the 11th. I want my world to stand
still...

It's been a long time

Had to redo a video since the first one didn't record my audio and it was a 5-min video too.. booooo! Here's a second take:


Been a long time -

And his voice came out of nowhere

     So apropos.. I've never had to use that word but I like the way it sounds after hearing it from a song by a band/guy I discovered, Bon Iver. But alas, he came to DC last year and I missed his show.

    I felt the need to stay quiet for a bit and not write about what's been happening. Work's been good for the most part. I've gotten the hang of it and been pretty much taking calls all day with a few questions to my coworkers. Been a bit busy with school. I'm actually taking a full load this semester to get a feel as to what it's like. It's been good though I'd still want to do it full time but not work full time. Maybe get a part-time gig but concentrate more on school. I'm taking classes at the local community college but will transfer eventually to one of the universities around, more than likely George Mason.

    The classes are pretty good. I'm taking Sociology, two computer classes, and Precalculus. I'm struggling a bit with Precal eventhough I liked Math a lot when I was younger. I guess having been out of school for like six years played a part so there, would have to study more and maybe get with a tutor even.

    Aside from that, one or two bloggers knows that C- and I are no longer together, for almost two months now. I'm not really gonna get on the details since it'll be unfair to him but that's that. I might write more about it from my point of view but it was real foggy for the longest as to what the exact reasons are. I really can't pin point the one defining thing that prompted this since it's more of a mix. Some of it were my doing I'll admit, and I probably could have done things different., if not better. Could have been more patient, kinder, more loving. I guess you just learn from it and move on. That was the best I can do at that time, but I'm not closing the doors. I definitely have some things I need to work on, recognizing them after having lived with C-. And right now, I just feel the need to deal with them by myself. I feel bad when it seems I'm just dragging him down with me.

    I miss what we had of course and for the most part, it was good. It was a lot of firsts and for that, I'll always be grateful. I think when we met, it happened since that's what had to happen. We brought something into each other's lives that we both needed. I can say that I've been happier since I've met him, there's a ritual I used to do but I don't any longer ever since I've met him. We've talked about how our relationship is unique and I think we'll always be in other's lives, well that's how we feel at this time. If that gets fucked up though, it'll be on me since I do some hurtful things with no rhyme or reason that after the fact, even I'm left wondering where it came from.

   On a short note, I wanted to share a song by one of my favorite bands *grins I heard this song from my mp3 player on my way to work and bawled out like crazy since it just summed up how I felt at that time.
 
Something in me was dying
And my heart was heavy as stone
Hard as i was trying
I never could find, find my way home

And your voice came out of nowhere
Be my friend and give me your hand
Let's take off together
And then we can live wherever we land

Something in me was broken
And my thoughts were bitter and ill
My world was blown open
And I couldn't see and i couldn't feel
You said be yourself and think of me
And you'll know there's nothing to fear
Let's make plans together
It's time to move on and get out of here

Girl i need you
Don't know what I would do
Will you see the story through
It's a cruel world
And I need somewhere to hide
But time goes by
And your still on my side

Something in me was sinking
Cause my heart was heavy as stone
I gave up with thinking
I never would find, find my way home
And your voice came out of nowhere
Be my friend and give me your hand
Let's take off together
And then we can live wherever we land

Girl i need you
Don't know what i would do
Will you see the story through
It's a cruel world
And i need somewhere to hide
The time goes by and your still on my side

Waiting
Searching
Turning over
Running round in circles
And i've worn myself out
Hoping that we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together

                       -Something in Me Was Dying
                        by Keane

It makes me smile

Yay, I got tickets to Lily Allen's show this April. This year is gonnabe a great one for catching gigs, just like my first year. There's gonnabe 4 shows I'm wanting to see, and got tickets for three of them so far. Has anyone else listened to Bon Iver!? I wish I saw them when they were in DC, but alas, I discovered AFTER the fact just like before with M.I.A., Mika, etc.

 

Don't go out tonight...

I'm digging this Danish band I stumbled on, Alphabeat. I just love the melodies and the words to their song :D

Merry Christmas

Just thought I'd drop a line and wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Or Happy Holidays to some, or Happy Kwanzaa even :D There's just been some stuff that happened that i felt best not to be written about. I'm doing fine though, a few more hours before I go home for the day.

My mom actually turned 49 on the 15th and I think it was a good birthday overall. I got her some clothes as a gift, with a matching necklace and earring. I had it waiting for her when she got home from work but I was already asleep when she got home. She woke up and thanked me for it, I think she was even crying but I was too sleepy I just said 'Welcome' and went back to sleep.

The next day was her actual b-day and it went well. We took her out to this one Indian restaurant in DC called Rasika. She took her bf (*rolls eyes). It's taking me a while to warm up to him, just being honest but it was good overall. She's never had Indian food before but am glad she liked it.

So that's about it really. Work's alright, I'm getting the hang of it more and more. On some days, I feel bleh about it since the calls are non-stop, but it's only for now :D Just wanted to get my foot in at the company I'm with so that's about it really.

Will post some pics since they blocked flickr here at work. I'm able to read feeds for the blogs I read but not able to comment so that'll be why, but I try to stay up to date and see what everyone's up to. That's all for now and again, Merry Christmas!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I thought I'd take time to wish you guys and gal a Happy Thanksgiving! We had an early Thanksgiving dinner last night and it was a success :D

We had some friends over, and some friend's friends. I was nervous as hell a few hours prior I thought about making a detour and not go home 'til late haha. What was that all about!? This is our first time having some folks over for dinner and stuff but it went well. I can say that everyone had a good time. Will post some pictures later.. I wore a shirt that C- gave me and was getting compliments for it so yay!

 

I'm glad I am where I am right now, and thankful for everything that's happened both good and bad. Tomorrow's my 9th year anniversary coming to the US and I get a little, I wouldn't say melancholy but I reminisce a lot around this time of year. I know I'll keep moving forward but I look back to that day when my life changed completely. I think I've had a good life so far, went through some experiences that taught me things about myself and the world as a whole. You know, looking back it's like I get too focused on the pain that I was going through and don't think about the "future" when I think about things, and say "Oh, I learned this from that." You know, falling for a guy that I never saw after one meeting, and it made me take a look at myself on the mirror and find ways that I can improve. After that, I started dressing better and try to think that if things don't work out with people, it's not always because there was something wrong with you. We can't expect to be loved by everybody, and can't expect the same from others. We can do good at the best of our ability and keep it at that. I think the universe has a way of paying you back, not that you should expect them because of what you did. You can call it karma or whatever, but I guess it's really true that what you put out to the world, you get back. Might not be tomorrow, or the day after but it will.

 

So thank you life. Thanks to my parents for giving it to me. To my family and friends for all the love, it was enough to keep me going. To the bloggers I've become friends with, thanks for making time to make the friendship work eventhough we're not close to each other. And of course, to me for not having given up.

 

Gobble, gobble!

 

 

Before I go to bed

Things are going well at the new job. I'm still in training so usually have my coworker shadow me when I take calls. It's supposed to be 3 weeks of training but mine was only 3 so kinda glad about that. Thing with phone support is that you can't really learn fully unless you just go out there and deal with the customers. Most customers have been nice so far though.

Aside from that, life's been quiet for the most part. Considered moving to another apartment at the same community since it had a dining room but do we really want to move granted it's one building over? We've gotten by alright so will make do what we have for now.

That's about it really. Well, we saw Cirque De Soleil two weeks ago and I was impressed. Forgot what show we saw but man, they had this 3 girls folding like pretzels and everything. I was shocked what they could do with their bodies, it's as if I was in some fantasy land.

Umm, that's all for now. Oh, for some who has difficulty trying to come up with meals for dinner, here's a recipe for Beef with Sweet Peppers. It's real simple to make and it's delicious. I came upon it by accident when I had meat but didn't know what to do with it. Enjoy!!

A Professor by day

I know I've posted like 3 or 4 videos of her but she cracks me up. I just uploaded her vids on my ipod since my coworkers have never heard of her! They're missing some important lessons :D So next time someone tells you they're going to the post office, umm you might wanna go with them.

GD IT!!!

I just love the acronym of my new company :D Whenever I see it, I
crack up since I think of the "other" meaning instead of what it
actually stands for.

I started the new job this past Monday and it's been goood. I spent
the first two days going to briefings and filling out paperwork so
that was fun. I went to my job location yesterday and the boss and the
coworkers seemed cool. Was a bit nervous but I'm talking to more peopl
little by little so that's a start. There's like 25 other people so I
doubt I'd make my round one by one and introduce myself. This one guy
has been going over what I'm gonna need to know to do my job and it's
quite a bit but I'm remembering most so even the boss was impressed.
There's a bunch of cute guys too hehe but I don't think any of 'em is
gay but oh well, it would have been nice to have a gay coworker for a
change. Hmmm, maybe I'm in the wrong field..

It was nice having a week off also. Just did things here and there.
Then Friday we caught the bus to NYC for the day. It was great being
back and getting to see a friend again. Thanks for meeting us Jon!! C-
and I did some touristy things and went to the Empire State Building
and at MOMA. Wow, it was nice seeing NY with that view. Did I say
'nice' again? I tend to say that a lot.

I'm just typing this on the phone since I don't feel like driving yet.
I know what the traffic will be like so not looking forward to that.
As for + thinking, thanks that I have a car and am able to drive. I
forget how lucky I am sometimes. Is that really luck though? Or simply
being thankful for what I think the good things are. That I have a
job, car, some of my loved ones with me. The dog maybe haha, a place
to sleep in, a home that I've built with somebody. We had a talk the
other day and it just got me thinking about what C- and I had gone
through in the past 16 months. Sometimes I'm tempted to just chuck
everything and starting all over, but I'll admit I'm actually in a
good place in my life. I don't know why I can't just simply admit I'm
happy. It freaks me out that I didn't have to do anything to "get" it
like he just came to my life just like that!? No way!!

I'm rambling and it's getting dark out so I should start heading home.
I'm actually in front of the hospital and went to a session with a
therapist, to help me figure out why I do some of the things I do. I
can be quite a meany sometimes when I get in a funk and feel that I
can't depend on anybody else in this world, that I'm all I've got.
That isn't true though but I get wrapped up so much in that thinking
that it starts affecting how I view things overall. I was gonna keep
quiet but you know, there's really nothing to be embarrassed
about. You can ask for help without feeling helpless though it took a
lot to actually pick up the phone and say that I can use some help.

Didn't mean to get all serious here but I'm okay though. I try to be
upbeat and funny on my posts but it doesn't come natural I guess. I
can be silly in real life but it just wouldn't come out when I'm
writing GD IT. Oh well, I can always make videos and lipsync for
you... Or you :D

The dog's doing

Figure I'd post while I'm waiting to be seen by a doctor/nurse just as
a followup to check my blood pressure. It has been high even before so
I've had to adjust my diet and stuff. And now, doing the same since it
was still pretty high when they checked it few weeks ago. Been eating
more veggies, and was eating oatmeal for breakfast for a while but I
guess it could only do so much. Incorporating the working out since I
don't actually go everyday like I ought to.

I'm not working at the moment since I took a week off before I start a
new job next week. It was a bit crazy my last week since I had to
write documentations and train my coworker to get spun up on what I
do. It's nice though, been relaxing and watching Six Feet Under.

Funny that the other day, while laying on the couch and the dog,
sleeping right by the edge, there's this feeling that just came over
me. I got to thinking about this creature laying there who's pretty
much there for me to take care of for who knows how long. It was odd
for me since the dog wasn't really my idea and on my bad days, I'll
admit I get annoyed having him around. But it just me thinking about
the day I have kids you know!? How when I have one, I'll have a mini-
me walking around the earth for me to love and take care of. How there
will be this person who will depend on me 100% and I in return would
give everything that I could, mainly love, will try to limit on the
material things though. For a sec, all I felt for the dog was love
that it almost made me cry. I dunno why I can't just admit to myself
that I've come to love it, especially when he just looks up with his
brown eyes when he wants me to play with him or just give him some
time. It's making me aware that when I have kids, there would be no
turning back. Well actually there is but I'm not gonna do that.

I know from experience what it's like growing up with one parent
missing and it's not a great feeling. I can say I'm used to it which I
am but on some days, I'm like goddamn, I spent my whole life without a
dad and I remember how crappy I felt about it on some days. I'm not
saying having both parents with you is the recipe of being a normal
person, but then you've got kids who grew up with both that's more
effed up than I would ever be so I guess it's a combination of things
mainly. I guess I got lucky and had a loving family, or I just made
choices that benefitted me rather than ruining me. I can say well I
grew up without a father if I would have ended up doing drugs or
whatever but I'll know that it was my choices that brought me to
whatever it is I'm in. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's strength, or
clinging to this hope that things will get better which they did. Damn
dog for making me think :D

Piloting the poo-c!

Sorry for all the videos but I don't think some of you has seen this. This is what got me started with Alexys. Perfect for the Halloween, you can dress up as a Pilot. As to what kind, watch the video! :D

I wanna have orgeese!

I just love the skits Kristen Wiig has done. Penelope on SNL, Knocked Up, and last night, Crazy McCain Lady.

Stop right now

This song doesn't really have any meaning, I don't think but this will partly answer Robert's question as to what I'm wearing "below" haha.

Thursday evening

Pardon all the 'you know" I swear I don't talk like that in person :D It was an impromptu so just talked about what came to mind..

Songs you want to see

So, some of you have seen the "music videos" I post from time to time. I was thinking, is there any song that you'd want to see me perform? Haha. Or I can always make a dedication I guess.

Coz at the moment, the ones I can do well *cough cough are Keane, Kylie, Spice Girls. Maybe I'll upload a Kylie clip from back in '04 when I had hair (T_T) I had waaaay more but my hard drive crashed and I'm still trying to recover 'em. I think it's funny sometimes that I do it, but it cracks me up when I watch 'em down the road. Like wowww, can you get any gayer Kris!? And it also, reminds me that on such and such, I was feeling this or that and the song I was relating the most at that point. Does that happen to you!?

But yea, I'm getting sidetracked. Send in the requests!

Motha motha whaaaat!?

We saw Kathy Griffin last Sunday and she was a riot! Her show ran for about an hour and a half, and the time it was over, my jaw was hurting. Aside from that, things have been so and so. Just feeling meh this week what with the new company taking over and all. I'm interviewing for other companies so will see how that goes. I had one few weeks ago and the government agency wanted me on board but it didn't work out due some clearance issues.

I'm still sore from the other night after having lifted some weights. I think I pulled a muscle in my shoulder so might just have to run today. I've gained 20 lbs I believe since I moved to DC, granted it doesn't show but still, need to work on that and hopefully, keep at it. I've always started but never follow through.

So tomorrow, we're gonna see Lisa Lampanelli down in Norfolk, VA. To some who hasn't heard of her, here's a clip. If you get offended easily, you might wanna skip.


That's about it really. I finally found the guys responsible for one of my most favorite prank calls. They're the Touch Tone Terrorists and I seriously was crying listening to bits and pieces of it, especially this one where the woman got called a mongoloid moron. Click on that and you can download it since I can't load it to imeem at the moment. Hope it makes you laugh folks! Hugs and enjoy the weekend!!

Made the cut

I'm back at work now after taking a week off and did some traveling. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that we initially we're gonna go to San Francisco to meet up with my Uncle flying in from Norway for a conference. We ended up not going since the costs would be a bit too much with finding a hotel, the plane ticket, then getting around the bay area. Just need to plan it out more I guess. So after Cali was scratched, we considered Canada but you needed a passport to go there which C- doesn't have at this time.

We chose Orlando since his sister that's about to have a baby lives there. We opted to drive and 4 hours in, we got a call saying that his sister had a baby boy so derr. It was a 13-hr drive and we just alternated every 3 hours so it wasn't bad. I was nervous since his mom was there also from Puerto Rico. She's staying indefinitely to help with her new grandson. Meeting them went well over all I think. C-s brother in law was great too, he learned a lot of computer tricks from yours truly :P His mom was commenting how quiet I was, but that's how I usually am when I meet new folks. Once I warm up though, you can't shut me up at times. The previous pic was the only pic I have really, C- and I don't have any pics together since it was pretty much raining when we're out and about.

Central Florida was nice. Will see how the next few months go and we're considering moving there come next summer. That scholarship I have is only good in Florida and will expire next winter, 3 years after I got out of the mil. But will see.. On the way back, stopped by Savannah which was a lovely city. We hang around for 2 hours and took the tour around the historic district, will definitely have to come back. We watched Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, so now you got two people in the house running around saying "Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it!"

During my time away from work, there was the transition happening since the contract was won by another company as I mentioned previously. A bunch of coworkers were let go and today's their last day. I'm not at our main office though, and subbing at the satellite by myself. The new company took me on board but will see how it'll go here on out. That's what's been going on really, getting a bit stressed but oh well, that's part of life.

Speeder biker for once

Taken at MGM Studios, forgot what the new name is. Hollywood ???? Haha, some folks were wondering what the heck I'm riding. Pardon for being vague *kisses


Only pic in Disney :D, originally uploaded by d_edrick.

Guess what can make you slap somebody!?

I know, it's not a real post but was going through my archives and I don't think some folks know these lessons.