Quack

Here's the family I mentioned.

That's what she said!

That line cracks me up, silly as that might sound. I saw a few those today after having gone to a Postsecret exhibit at the Hillyer. I'm glad I got to go since tomorrow's the last day for it. It was nice getting to see it again live since it's been a long time since I went to one, 3 yrs now actually. I was still living in Hampton around that time and drove 3 hrs just to see it, along with FOUND. I got teary reading some of the impromptu made ones. They left some papers out and crayons out for people to write their secrets and I'd say about 6 walls were covered with these secrets. I didn't make any, it was enough just to see others' because I already see myself in some of them. One made a comment how the secrets are full of sadness. From what it seems though, I think it's the sadness or the negative emotions that one tries to let go while holding on to happiness as much as we can. I know there has to be balance but I think we can relate more on each other's pain more than anything, it's one of the basic emotions that shows we're all the same.

So I did that and stopped by Dupont Circle afterwards, and grabbed Ben and Jerry's ice cream and sat down and read The Onion. I originally had plans but it didn't fall through, and come around the time I was supposed to meet, I was glad it didn't happen since I felt tired and just wanted to go home. Still have a bit to go in getting the apartment set up but no rush on that, working on my room at least so I'll know where everything is once again.

Yesterday, I took my mom to Ruby Tuesday since she's never been to one. She thought it was okay, but I think it was mainly due to her ribs being dry. She told me about it but not til after having eaten it so I asked why she didn't say anything sooner. I'll admit I get agitated with her sometimes, it really feels like we've switched roles. After that though, we just sat out by the parking lot and goofed off a bit. I was debating what to do about my phone situation since I'm trying to go simpler with mine. I ended up getting one off of Amazon, a more basic phone than the iPhone so I can get rid of the data plan, and just use it for the basic stuff. I'll probably miss the Google maps but I'll manage, I've lived okay without having one of those as much as it has been helpful.

Oh, I never got to mention it but where I'm temporarily working, there's a lake on the side of the building and there's this family of 5 ducks. I might take a picture but in the morning when I pass them by, it brings a smile on my face that I just wanna sit there and watch 'em. Animals just seem so peaceful sometimes. It doesn't look like they have a care in the world but to just be, and get their basic needs met. No dreams they try to achieve, no wrongdoings they feel guilty about, but to just be and exist. But then, we're animals too. Does one ever achieve that kind of peace though? At times, I'd like to think I get a glimpse of it. There's just this wave of feeling that comes over you, and you're just at ease with the world, and how things are. Perhaps it's just a matter of being able to go back to that place more.

Here it is

The beard's all gone after having shaved it Monday morning....

To whom should I write

Well, I figured I'd write a little something while I'm recovering from lunch. I did record a vid to post instead but we don't have internet yet at the new place. I think I might have mentioned that we're moving to a different apartment which happened this Saturday. Had some complications with the movers I initially hired, so had to call around last-minute to find a different one. They didn't get there til 7 though, and the move in all took 5 hrs. I seriously wanted to leave for a drink and get wasted lol It was just so tiring having been up since 8 that morning and not moving til 7 at night.

But it's done with so definitely glad about that. We had to come back yesterday and pick up the rest of the stuff and clean the apartment. Now, it's just a matter of getting the new one organized. I definitely won't be moving anytime soon again. It's in a good location since I'm nearby the major interstate.

I'm "temping" once again for another slot that my company has for the agency we work for. It's nice since I get to learn new stuff. And the eye candy too! There's a lot of mil guys here so it's cool just to see 'em. I'm sharing a cube with this one girl and I love her already :) She's pretty funny so we'd just talk about some random stuff.

Aside from the move, things have been quiet. My tennis lessons started last weekend but the first one got cancelled since it rained hard Saturday morning. Then the swimming class starts next week. Catching concerts here and there as well. I got to see Santigold and Peaches so that was nice.

I think I'll still post the vid tonight. I grew a mini-beard but ended up shaving it yesterday. Everyone's like 'whoooa, kris is becoming a man!' or ask me why I'm growing it. Really no reason but to change it up a bit. A pic when it was growing...

Gottabe unstoppable

Saw this vid today and it just made me smile. I'm actually seeing Santigold next week at 9:30 Club, yay! I'm even more excited.

the mall

This past weekend was actually my memorial day since I actually worked the holiday so I can have Friday off instead. It wasn't bad at all, since I had one customer come by since he needed help with his account. It gave me pretty much all day to read Yes Man which I did not know existed until recently. I enjoyed it, it was a light read of all this one guy's experiences after he became more open to the world, and said yes to pretty much everything afterwards. Just got me thinking how I wasn't as open as I could have been when I was in Japan, but oh well coulda, woulda, shoulda.

It was a quiet weekend overall. I'm in the process of priming the apartment since the lease ends on the 24th and I'll be moving to a different one come that time. Funny how I will be living in the same apartment complex I lived in when I first moved to the DC area. Coinkidink? Hmm, I wonder if that means anything.

Saturday, I went to the National Mall since it's been a while since I've gone around and explored DC. It was a nice day out that I just didn't wanna waste so drove in to the city and went to the Botanic Garden and the National Museum of the American Indian (NMAI). Both were interesting. Amazing to see all the variety of plants that exist that it really makes you think that everything on the earth is designed after all and is just not caused by a bang. I took some pictures but will be uploading it to my flickr site another time. The NMAI was interesting too, it was nice to learn more about their history and their way of living back in the day, and to how some kept their culture/language intact, but at the same time, adjusting to all the changes. A fellow blogger actually has gone to the museum and eaten there so figured I would stop by the cafe since he suggested it. It was actually neat that they let you try some of the dishes instead of having to buy them blindsided. I got to try buffalo, and wild boar but ended up going with chicken haha. I was so tempted to just wait and go to Potbelly's for lunch but figured it's not everyday I'll get to eat authentic native foods, so derr. I said Yes :)

Aside from that, it's been quiet overall. I ended up having to reschedule my swimming class so I can take the beginner's one to learn it from the basics. And I'm also taking tennis lessons soon so it should be interesting. I've always wanted to play so actually acting upon it rather than just thinking. I probably should shut up about it at work haha.

I kinda got carried away at American Apparel since the last time I actually bought something from there was back in '05 when we were in LA. I pretty much just got shorts and there was one that I thought looked nice on the guys I've seen wearing it, but it looked off when I had it on. I think it's just my build and it doesn't look right, though it's sexy as hell! It's this West Coast Short though I have their Jersey P.E. Short which I just wear to bed since it's a bit snug and it would just show too much to people.

It's almost 1 and I'll try to get some sleep now. My sleeping pattern sure is out of whack on the weekends. Ah well, more changes!

5 Years Time

Well, like I said I was gonna try to post "music videos" from time to time. I know I've talked about the song in the last post but I wanted to make a vid for it anyways. Seeing them live was really great.

EU open house

It's Monday and I'm finally back to the Helpdesk. It's been 2 and a half hours already since I came in and I wanna sleep soooo bad right now. My fault for not sleeping early but somehow, the earliest I've managed sleeping was 11.

Weekend was good overall. I stayed in during the evenings and it was nice to just stay home and relax. I haven't felt like cleaning and mostly just dilly dallied around the house. I rented a movie and a Wii game on my way home from work, that way I won't have to set foot outside once I go home. I watched How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. I thinik I might have heard of the book before. Granted I haven't read it, I just got the movie anyways. I thought it was funny and sweet though. They were talking about the movie La Dolce Vita which I've stumbled on a lot of times but never watched it.

Saturday, they had the embassy open house again. It's where the embassies in DC let the general public in where you get to look around and take a little tour of their respective embassies. I went with two friends I was with the week prior though two others joined us on this day. We all met up around 9:30 to get an early headstart but alas, none of the brunch places was open until 11. We waited around since we were all hungry. But it was worth it :D Frontpage had a really good buffet though I initially was gonna get their Eggs Benedict. I need to learn how to make that at home.

It was really fun, trying to scare friends with a pigeon, taking pics of a cute guy, etc. I even got to take a pic with one of the ambassadors, I think?. We didn't know he was one since he was just sitting down while we walked by. We saw a picture of a guy with George Bush and when we looked back, realized that it was him. I'll add the pic later, since it's on facebook but it's blocked here at work.


Sunday was Mother's Day as everyone knows, and I really didn't get to spend it with my mom. I told my coworker I was gonna help him not realizing it was gonna take all day. But oh well, mom's happy with the flower that I got her. When it was delivered, I wanted to keep it for myself haha.

So that was the weekend really. Gotta head out for an appointment now so will cut this short. I'm trying to get back on writing more like I used to.

Wherever he goes, there'll be love

Some of you might have heard this song below. Anyway, just thought I'd update a moment. I'm managing a bit better with C- and the dog gone. It feels a bit off going home to an empty apartment with no one there to greet you with their smile or the dog just bouncing around happy to see you.

Classes are finally over after this week which I'm glad about, I certainly can use the break right about now. I did decent on most classes except Precalculus. Not sitting down and studying for the exams is gonna cost me but it's too late to change that now. I knew what was happening but somehow, instead of doing something about it, I just sorta took my fate and took responsibility for my actions. I'm either getting a D or an F, and I can kick myself about it over and over but it's not gonna do any good. So that, I'm realizing I'm not applying myself as much as I could.



5 Years Time - Noah and the Whale

Now the post seems dreary. But getting back to Noah and the Whale, they were amazing!! I already got tickets for another band playing last Saturday night but when after watching Noah, it was sooo worth it. I felt really happy just being there and seeing them live. The lead singer was cute too so that made it better. Each of the band member was sexy in their own way. Even the violinist! To produce that kind of beauty just mesmerized me. Did I mention that I love the show!? I soo wanna stalk this band now haha. Their CD is actually good, I've pretty much been listening to it on my way to work and back.

I sorta made this an unofficial song to C-. There's just something sweet to the sentiments of the lyrics that when I heard it, it just felt it applied to how our relatinship. Though the following reflects any sorts, whether it be lovers or friends since who knows what can happen in five years time.

Oh in 5 years time, I might not know you.
In 5 years time, we might not speak it all.
In 5 years time, we might not get along.
In 5 years time, you might just prove me wrong.

I can't believe this

I never did this when I was a kid but tonight I sat next to my mom in
her bed and admitted to being lonely when she asked me. I didn't stay
long since with her trying to console me, I got annoyed with some
things she said. What the duck's wrong with me sometimes? It's the
first day since C- and the dog left for Chicago. It'll take a little
getting used to. Did I get what I wanted though? I need to go
somewhere just for a while... It won't be for a few more weeks though,
with school not being over til the 11th. I want my world to stand
still...

It's been a long time

Had to redo a video since the first one didn't record my audio and it was a 5-min video too.. booooo! Here's a second take:


Been a long time -

And his voice came out of nowhere

     So apropos.. I've never had to use that word but I like the way it sounds after hearing it from a song by a band/guy I discovered, Bon Iver. But alas, he came to DC last year and I missed his show.

    I felt the need to stay quiet for a bit and not write about what's been happening. Work's been good for the most part. I've gotten the hang of it and been pretty much taking calls all day with a few questions to my coworkers. Been a bit busy with school. I'm actually taking a full load this semester to get a feel as to what it's like. It's been good though I'd still want to do it full time but not work full time. Maybe get a part-time gig but concentrate more on school. I'm taking classes at the local community college but will transfer eventually to one of the universities around, more than likely George Mason.

    The classes are pretty good. I'm taking Sociology, two computer classes, and Precalculus. I'm struggling a bit with Precal eventhough I liked Math a lot when I was younger. I guess having been out of school for like six years played a part so there, would have to study more and maybe get with a tutor even.

    Aside from that, one or two bloggers knows that C- and I are no longer together, for almost two months now. I'm not really gonna get on the details since it'll be unfair to him but that's that. I might write more about it from my point of view but it was real foggy for the longest as to what the exact reasons are. I really can't pin point the one defining thing that prompted this since it's more of a mix. Some of it were my doing I'll admit, and I probably could have done things different., if not better. Could have been more patient, kinder, more loving. I guess you just learn from it and move on. That was the best I can do at that time, but I'm not closing the doors. I definitely have some things I need to work on, recognizing them after having lived with C-. And right now, I just feel the need to deal with them by myself. I feel bad when it seems I'm just dragging him down with me.

    I miss what we had of course and for the most part, it was good. It was a lot of firsts and for that, I'll always be grateful. I think when we met, it happened since that's what had to happen. We brought something into each other's lives that we both needed. I can say that I've been happier since I've met him, there's a ritual I used to do but I don't any longer ever since I've met him. We've talked about how our relationship is unique and I think we'll always be in other's lives, well that's how we feel at this time. If that gets fucked up though, it'll be on me since I do some hurtful things with no rhyme or reason that after the fact, even I'm left wondering where it came from.

   On a short note, I wanted to share a song by one of my favorite bands *grins I heard this song from my mp3 player on my way to work and bawled out like crazy since it just summed up how I felt at that time.
 
Something in me was dying
And my heart was heavy as stone
Hard as i was trying
I never could find, find my way home

And your voice came out of nowhere
Be my friend and give me your hand
Let's take off together
And then we can live wherever we land

Something in me was broken
And my thoughts were bitter and ill
My world was blown open
And I couldn't see and i couldn't feel
You said be yourself and think of me
And you'll know there's nothing to fear
Let's make plans together
It's time to move on and get out of here

Girl i need you
Don't know what I would do
Will you see the story through
It's a cruel world
And I need somewhere to hide
But time goes by
And your still on my side

Something in me was sinking
Cause my heart was heavy as stone
I gave up with thinking
I never would find, find my way home
And your voice came out of nowhere
Be my friend and give me your hand
Let's take off together
And then we can live wherever we land

Girl i need you
Don't know what i would do
Will you see the story through
It's a cruel world
And i need somewhere to hide
The time goes by and your still on my side

Waiting
Searching
Turning over
Running round in circles
And i've worn myself out
Hoping that we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together
yeah we'll always be together

                       -Something in Me Was Dying
                        by Keane

It makes me smile

Yay, I got tickets to Lily Allen's show this April. This year is gonnabe a great one for catching gigs, just like my first year. There's gonnabe 4 shows I'm wanting to see, and got tickets for three of them so far. Has anyone else listened to Bon Iver!? I wish I saw them when they were in DC, but alas, I discovered AFTER the fact just like before with M.I.A., Mika, etc.

 

Don't go out tonight...

I'm digging this Danish band I stumbled on, Alphabeat. I just love the melodies and the words to their song :D

Merry Christmas

Just thought I'd drop a line and wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Or Happy Holidays to some, or Happy Kwanzaa even :D There's just been some stuff that happened that i felt best not to be written about. I'm doing fine though, a few more hours before I go home for the day.

My mom actually turned 49 on the 15th and I think it was a good birthday overall. I got her some clothes as a gift, with a matching necklace and earring. I had it waiting for her when she got home from work but I was already asleep when she got home. She woke up and thanked me for it, I think she was even crying but I was too sleepy I just said 'Welcome' and went back to sleep.

The next day was her actual b-day and it went well. We took her out to this one Indian restaurant in DC called Rasika. She took her bf (*rolls eyes). It's taking me a while to warm up to him, just being honest but it was good overall. She's never had Indian food before but am glad she liked it.

So that's about it really. Work's alright, I'm getting the hang of it more and more. On some days, I feel bleh about it since the calls are non-stop, but it's only for now :D Just wanted to get my foot in at the company I'm with so that's about it really.

Will post some pics since they blocked flickr here at work. I'm able to read feeds for the blogs I read but not able to comment so that'll be why, but I try to stay up to date and see what everyone's up to. That's all for now and again, Merry Christmas!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I thought I'd take time to wish you guys and gal a Happy Thanksgiving! We had an early Thanksgiving dinner last night and it was a success :D

We had some friends over, and some friend's friends. I was nervous as hell a few hours prior I thought about making a detour and not go home 'til late haha. What was that all about!? This is our first time having some folks over for dinner and stuff but it went well. I can say that everyone had a good time. Will post some pictures later.. I wore a shirt that C- gave me and was getting compliments for it so yay!

 

I'm glad I am where I am right now, and thankful for everything that's happened both good and bad. Tomorrow's my 9th year anniversary coming to the US and I get a little, I wouldn't say melancholy but I reminisce a lot around this time of year. I know I'll keep moving forward but I look back to that day when my life changed completely. I think I've had a good life so far, went through some experiences that taught me things about myself and the world as a whole. You know, looking back it's like I get too focused on the pain that I was going through and don't think about the "future" when I think about things, and say "Oh, I learned this from that." You know, falling for a guy that I never saw after one meeting, and it made me take a look at myself on the mirror and find ways that I can improve. After that, I started dressing better and try to think that if things don't work out with people, it's not always because there was something wrong with you. We can't expect to be loved by everybody, and can't expect the same from others. We can do good at the best of our ability and keep it at that. I think the universe has a way of paying you back, not that you should expect them because of what you did. You can call it karma or whatever, but I guess it's really true that what you put out to the world, you get back. Might not be tomorrow, or the day after but it will.

 

So thank you life. Thanks to my parents for giving it to me. To my family and friends for all the love, it was enough to keep me going. To the bloggers I've become friends with, thanks for making time to make the friendship work eventhough we're not close to each other. And of course, to me for not having given up.

 

Gobble, gobble!

 

 

Before I go to bed

Things are going well at the new job. I'm still in training so usually have my coworker shadow me when I take calls. It's supposed to be 3 weeks of training but mine was only 3 so kinda glad about that. Thing with phone support is that you can't really learn fully unless you just go out there and deal with the customers. Most customers have been nice so far though.

Aside from that, life's been quiet for the most part. Considered moving to another apartment at the same community since it had a dining room but do we really want to move granted it's one building over? We've gotten by alright so will make do what we have for now.

That's about it really. Well, we saw Cirque De Soleil two weeks ago and I was impressed. Forgot what show we saw but man, they had this 3 girls folding like pretzels and everything. I was shocked what they could do with their bodies, it's as if I was in some fantasy land.

Umm, that's all for now. Oh, for some who has difficulty trying to come up with meals for dinner, here's a recipe for Beef with Sweet Peppers. It's real simple to make and it's delicious. I came upon it by accident when I had meat but didn't know what to do with it. Enjoy!!

A Professor by day

I know I've posted like 3 or 4 videos of her but she cracks me up. I just uploaded her vids on my ipod since my coworkers have never heard of her! They're missing some important lessons :D So next time someone tells you they're going to the post office, umm you might wanna go with them.

GD IT!!!

I just love the acronym of my new company :D Whenever I see it, I
crack up since I think of the "other" meaning instead of what it
actually stands for.

I started the new job this past Monday and it's been goood. I spent
the first two days going to briefings and filling out paperwork so
that was fun. I went to my job location yesterday and the boss and the
coworkers seemed cool. Was a bit nervous but I'm talking to more peopl
little by little so that's a start. There's like 25 other people so I
doubt I'd make my round one by one and introduce myself. This one guy
has been going over what I'm gonna need to know to do my job and it's
quite a bit but I'm remembering most so even the boss was impressed.
There's a bunch of cute guys too hehe but I don't think any of 'em is
gay but oh well, it would have been nice to have a gay coworker for a
change. Hmmm, maybe I'm in the wrong field..

It was nice having a week off also. Just did things here and there.
Then Friday we caught the bus to NYC for the day. It was great being
back and getting to see a friend again. Thanks for meeting us Jon!! C-
and I did some touristy things and went to the Empire State Building
and at MOMA. Wow, it was nice seeing NY with that view. Did I say
'nice' again? I tend to say that a lot.

I'm just typing this on the phone since I don't feel like driving yet.
I know what the traffic will be like so not looking forward to that.
As for + thinking, thanks that I have a car and am able to drive. I
forget how lucky I am sometimes. Is that really luck though? Or simply
being thankful for what I think the good things are. That I have a
job, car, some of my loved ones with me. The dog maybe haha, a place
to sleep in, a home that I've built with somebody. We had a talk the
other day and it just got me thinking about what C- and I had gone
through in the past 16 months. Sometimes I'm tempted to just chuck
everything and starting all over, but I'll admit I'm actually in a
good place in my life. I don't know why I can't just simply admit I'm
happy. It freaks me out that I didn't have to do anything to "get" it
like he just came to my life just like that!? No way!!

I'm rambling and it's getting dark out so I should start heading home.
I'm actually in front of the hospital and went to a session with a
therapist, to help me figure out why I do some of the things I do. I
can be quite a meany sometimes when I get in a funk and feel that I
can't depend on anybody else in this world, that I'm all I've got.
That isn't true though but I get wrapped up so much in that thinking
that it starts affecting how I view things overall. I was gonna keep
quiet but you know, there's really nothing to be embarrassed
about. You can ask for help without feeling helpless though it took a
lot to actually pick up the phone and say that I can use some help.

Didn't mean to get all serious here but I'm okay though. I try to be
upbeat and funny on my posts but it doesn't come natural I guess. I
can be silly in real life but it just wouldn't come out when I'm
writing GD IT. Oh well, I can always make videos and lipsync for
you... Or you :D

The dog's doing

Figure I'd post while I'm waiting to be seen by a doctor/nurse just as
a followup to check my blood pressure. It has been high even before so
I've had to adjust my diet and stuff. And now, doing the same since it
was still pretty high when they checked it few weeks ago. Been eating
more veggies, and was eating oatmeal for breakfast for a while but I
guess it could only do so much. Incorporating the working out since I
don't actually go everyday like I ought to.

I'm not working at the moment since I took a week off before I start a
new job next week. It was a bit crazy my last week since I had to
write documentations and train my coworker to get spun up on what I
do. It's nice though, been relaxing and watching Six Feet Under.

Funny that the other day, while laying on the couch and the dog,
sleeping right by the edge, there's this feeling that just came over
me. I got to thinking about this creature laying there who's pretty
much there for me to take care of for who knows how long. It was odd
for me since the dog wasn't really my idea and on my bad days, I'll
admit I get annoyed having him around. But it just me thinking about
the day I have kids you know!? How when I have one, I'll have a mini-
me walking around the earth for me to love and take care of. How there
will be this person who will depend on me 100% and I in return would
give everything that I could, mainly love, will try to limit on the
material things though. For a sec, all I felt for the dog was love
that it almost made me cry. I dunno why I can't just admit to myself
that I've come to love it, especially when he just looks up with his
brown eyes when he wants me to play with him or just give him some
time. It's making me aware that when I have kids, there would be no
turning back. Well actually there is but I'm not gonna do that.

I know from experience what it's like growing up with one parent
missing and it's not a great feeling. I can say I'm used to it which I
am but on some days, I'm like goddamn, I spent my whole life without a
dad and I remember how crappy I felt about it on some days. I'm not
saying having both parents with you is the recipe of being a normal
person, but then you've got kids who grew up with both that's more
effed up than I would ever be so I guess it's a combination of things
mainly. I guess I got lucky and had a loving family, or I just made
choices that benefitted me rather than ruining me. I can say well I
grew up without a father if I would have ended up doing drugs or
whatever but I'll know that it was my choices that brought me to
whatever it is I'm in. Maybe it's luck, maybe it's strength, or
clinging to this hope that things will get better which they did. Damn
dog for making me think :D