Thanks to all the friendships I've made along the way but for a while, I've taken the role of an observer and a quiet reader instead of posting and commenting. Eventhough I haven't commented, I'm still here, and always will be. I think I've met pretty much most of my blogger friends, except one or two. It's a promise I've made to myself from the beginning and pretty much has been successful. It makes me sad when people just up and abandon their blogs, so chose not to do that. After all this time, I'm alright with the one I got.
Life's a never-ending cycle. You laugh, you cry, you get hurt, you knowingly/unknowingly hurt others. You hate, and of course, you love. One can't exist without the other, just a matter of finding a balance and making peace with one's self. It's interesting how time changes you, things you thought that mattered, doesn't always in the end and vice versa, though it's not always easy to figure out which is which. I think I've come along since I started this blog few years ago, and am thankful for having a way to just let things out of my mind and my heart. I feel lighter on my shoulders now. I find myself censoring what to write and I didn't want to get to that point where I don't write about things that matter...even if it was just to me.
"Everybody wants to leave something behind them, some impression, some mark upon the world. And then you think, you've left a mark on the world if you just get through it and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the world. I think it's better just to enjoy it. Pay your dues and enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you."
25 January 2010
I am more me
I remember when, when i first moved here, a long time ago,
'cause i heard some song i used to hear back then, a lone time ago.
I remember when, even further back, in another town,
'cause i saw something written i used to say back then, hard to comprehend
and the question is, was i more alive then than I am now?
I happily have to disagree;
I laugh more often now, i cry more often now, I am more me.
but of cause some days, i just lie around and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating from my hand or my wrist.
'cause flesh is flesh, flesh as flesh as flesh, the difference is thin.
but life has a certian ability or breating new life into me, so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here, and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face, instead of that grin.
and the other day, this new friend of mine said something to me
just because something starts differently,
doesn´t mean it's worth less,
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in, how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was, then you came.
so i'm gonna give, yes i´m gonna give, i'm gonna give you a try
'cause i heard some song i used to hear back then, a lone time ago.
I remember when, even further back, in another town,
'cause i saw something written i used to say back then, hard to comprehend
and the question is, was i more alive then than I am now?
I happily have to disagree;
I laugh more often now, i cry more often now, I am more me.
but of cause some days, i just lie around and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating from my hand or my wrist.
'cause flesh is flesh, flesh as flesh as flesh, the difference is thin.
but life has a certian ability or breating new life into me, so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here, and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face, instead of that grin.
and the other day, this new friend of mine said something to me
just because something starts differently,
doesn´t mean it's worth less,
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in, how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was, then you came.
so i'm gonna give, yes i´m gonna give, i'm gonna give you a try
31 December 2009
The Missing Piece
There's actually a book out, The Missing Piece and the Big O that I came across today. It was online so got to read it. It made me smile and teary while watching the clip below I found on youtube. It's definitely now on my to get list.
I think it's true for everyone...in the end we hope to meet our Big O
I think it's true for everyone...in the end we hope to meet our Big O
08 December 2009
New Day
Today was my first day at the new gig, it went fine overall though I was like 20 mins to the orientation. This is the first time I arrived late over something like that. I don't even know how it happened since I woke up like 2 1/2 hrs before I had to be there. Anywho, the people I'm gonnabe working with are pretty cool, and one of the guy who interviewed me even took me down to the cafeteria and stuff. He actually told me he wanted me for his team but didn't want to take me away from my boss, lovely.
So yea, it's off to a good start working at the new job. Just a bit of a dilemma though. With the whole quitting thing, I actually didn't leave my company after having talked to the manager, I had her yank the separation paper and asked her if she can find me a swings or a night shift position with the company. I need to talk to the guy I was working with the past month or two since he'd be open to keeping me, but not sure if he would if he finds out I can't come in til like 4 or so. Normally the swings do 2:30 til 10 but will see. Another bump is that where I work, they really don't have a parking lot so they're saying I might want to just catch the metro which would be fine, except I'm not sure how I can get to a second job if ever so maybe it's not fine.
Just had to let it out since it's been in my head all day and people I normally would talk to about it might get tired of hearing any of it.
Oooh, got my new glasses today. I've had the same one for two years now and I opted for a plastic ones instead of metal. I think it looks nice, haha! I just tried it on but didn't wanna wear it yet, oh my godd, that's my mom talking. Whenever we used to buy stuff, we don't actually wear it or whatever until a "special" occassion, makes me laugh now.
She's no longer living with me as of yesterday. She's still in the area but she's with her man now haha. The guy's nice and all but I CAN'T stand having him at the apartment ALL the time, it just feels awkward for me somehow so derrrr. I'm on the fence about getting a roommate since I get aggitated with some little things, like if people use the sink and not watch the areas around it that's wet, people stepping out of the shower into the rug while still soaked instead of drying off before getting out, I'm not the only one am I?
Weekend was good overall, hang out with my cousin on my dad's side that moved here to DC. I need to reach out to him more, I've just been cocooning myself lately over some things that's happened. But I kinda slipped in our conversation that I was gay like real casual. It came up how my dad and I haven't spoken for almost 2 years now, and I told him our communication went to a halt when I came out to him over the phone, so I think my cousin got it.
It's 12:30 and I can't sleep it. I have to be up in 4-5 hrs but am awake now which is odd. I was dozing off in class BIIIIG time even my classmate noticed, heh. Will just go read a book then, ni ni :)
So yea, it's off to a good start working at the new job. Just a bit of a dilemma though. With the whole quitting thing, I actually didn't leave my company after having talked to the manager, I had her yank the separation paper and asked her if she can find me a swings or a night shift position with the company. I need to talk to the guy I was working with the past month or two since he'd be open to keeping me, but not sure if he would if he finds out I can't come in til like 4 or so. Normally the swings do 2:30 til 10 but will see. Another bump is that where I work, they really don't have a parking lot so they're saying I might want to just catch the metro which would be fine, except I'm not sure how I can get to a second job if ever so maybe it's not fine.
Just had to let it out since it's been in my head all day and people I normally would talk to about it might get tired of hearing any of it.
Oooh, got my new glasses today. I've had the same one for two years now and I opted for a plastic ones instead of metal. I think it looks nice, haha! I just tried it on but didn't wanna wear it yet, oh my godd, that's my mom talking. Whenever we used to buy stuff, we don't actually wear it or whatever until a "special" occassion, makes me laugh now.
She's no longer living with me as of yesterday. She's still in the area but she's with her man now haha. The guy's nice and all but I CAN'T stand having him at the apartment ALL the time, it just feels awkward for me somehow so derrrr. I'm on the fence about getting a roommate since I get aggitated with some little things, like if people use the sink and not watch the areas around it that's wet, people stepping out of the shower into the rug while still soaked instead of drying off before getting out, I'm not the only one am I?
Weekend was good overall, hang out with my cousin on my dad's side that moved here to DC. I need to reach out to him more, I've just been cocooning myself lately over some things that's happened. But I kinda slipped in our conversation that I was gay like real casual. It came up how my dad and I haven't spoken for almost 2 years now, and I told him our communication went to a halt when I came out to him over the phone, so I think my cousin got it.
It's 12:30 and I can't sleep it. I have to be up in 4-5 hrs but am awake now which is odd. I was dozing off in class BIIIIG time even my classmate noticed, heh. Will just go read a book then, ni ni :)
02 December 2009
It's a blue, black blue Wednesday...
Dunno why I had the urge to Goldfrapp's A&E before posting this.
Decisions
Sometimes, I wish someone can make my decisions for me and I'll do whatever I was told. This is mainly with the whole job, granted I accepted the offer and is set to start next week, my current company talked to me yesterday and is trying to find ways to get me to stay. I'm surprised with the lengths that they would do for me to stay. As nice as it is, it's seriously messing me up in the head. I'm questioning whether I made the right choice. It's pretty much a toss up between staying with my company, and work as a contractor or switch to the government job. I've been applying for government jobs for like 2 1/2 years and finally landed one. And now, my company is even telling me they'd move me to Europe if it means I'll stay with them. They would even try to find C- a job here in the area since he came up during my talk with one of the managers, outing myself in the process. I dunno why I was like whew, so they still can't tell then haha, since some people told me they "knew" the first day I walked in the office, sheeesh.
I just wanna ball up in a corner until I think it all through. It probably won't make much sense to others but I just needed to let it out.
I just wanna ball up in a corner until I think it all through. It probably won't make much sense to others but I just needed to let it out.
24 November 2009
Since the last post, I've seen 2 or 3 more movies. Precious was gooooood! Granted parts of it were sad, they had enough happy stuff to keep it even. I didn't cry as much as I was expecting so that's always gooood. Also saw The Box which sucked, and New Moon (don't judge! haha) I'm on definitely on Team Jacob after seeing the movie, wooof!
As far as the new job, I'm gonnabe starting much sooner than
expected since the process went through a lot faster, what with the background investigation having been done not too long ago. I actually used one of my blogger buddies as reference :D Thanks R! Ahh, the friends I've made through here really makes me smile, love 'em all. So Friday, I did put in my 2-week notice and will start the following Monday. I was actually gonna try to wait it out til after the holidays since I was considering going to Puerto Rico since C- was gonnabe there. I'm missing the dog sooo much which I never saw coming. Even C- and I talk about it sometimes and laugh about it now, since I'm not always so caring when I choose not to. So that, guess I'll see him when he comes back.
It's 2 AM as I'm writing this and I'm trying to stay up as much as I can since I'm working night shift this week. Will hit the sack in a bit though since I have to get up early to get the car looked at. It's been making this whirring noise on the left side at random times.
I was all happy today too after getting our quizzes back for Math. Mannn, I was making A's in the last few tests. If I'd have studied sooner, I won't have to retake it but durrr, I was a fool. I seriously considered skipping today since I was off, it felt like I had to be off from E-V-E-R-Y-thing, even school. Got home and mom ended up being in my room for a bit. She's a crier when she gets drunk, and was talking about the same stuff over and over. Just telling her to 'let it go' since she's holding on to things that one has no control over.
I've been making 'music videos' but nothing worth posting it yet. I need to find more male artists to listen to, somehow I mostly have girl. I wonder if being gay has got to do with it..What's love, but a second hand emotion. What's... Let me stop :D Here's the song I've been meaning to do, but somehow watching the vid makes me wanna find a big box to go in and "perform"
As far as the new job, I'm gonnabe starting much sooner than
expected since the process went through a lot faster, what with the background investigation having been done not too long ago. I actually used one of my blogger buddies as reference :D Thanks R! Ahh, the friends I've made through here really makes me smile, love 'em all. So Friday, I did put in my 2-week notice and will start the following Monday. I was actually gonna try to wait it out til after the holidays since I was considering going to Puerto Rico since C- was gonnabe there. I'm missing the dog sooo much which I never saw coming. Even C- and I talk about it sometimes and laugh about it now, since I'm not always so caring when I choose not to. So that, guess I'll see him when he comes back.
It's 2 AM as I'm writing this and I'm trying to stay up as much as I can since I'm working night shift this week. Will hit the sack in a bit though since I have to get up early to get the car looked at. It's been making this whirring noise on the left side at random times.
I was all happy today too after getting our quizzes back for Math. Mannn, I was making A's in the last few tests. If I'd have studied sooner, I won't have to retake it but durrr, I was a fool. I seriously considered skipping today since I was off, it felt like I had to be off from E-V-E-R-Y-thing, even school. Got home and mom ended up being in my room for a bit. She's a crier when she gets drunk, and was talking about the same stuff over and over. Just telling her to 'let it go' since she's holding on to things that one has no control over.
I've been making 'music videos' but nothing worth posting it yet. I need to find more male artists to listen to, somehow I mostly have girl. I wonder if being gay has got to do with it..What's love, but a second hand emotion. What's... Let me stop :D Here's the song I've been meaning to do, but somehow watching the vid makes me wanna find a big box to go in and "perform"
13 November 2009
Pick me, choose me
After getting hyped up for The Cranberries' show, yours truly ended up not going. With it being an hour drive, and my car having skidded twice while I was driving yesterday, I decided not to go. I grabbed a bite before I was gonna get on the interstate and instead of eating and driving, I pulled up in the parking lot to have my meal. I actually got in an accident last winter and I'm gonna have to take the same route to get to the show. I was just really nervous that I chose to play it safe and not get on the road. Instead, I ended up going to the auto center and getting my tires replaced which I should have done a while ago. I had an hour to kill and went to the mall and left without buying a single thing, yay! After I got my car back, I definitely felt the difference after getting the tires rotated and balanced. I probably could have made the show but the excitement kinda went away.
Just went home, and tried to fix my cousin's laptop. And just watched some TV. I seriously have to stop watching HGTV. The guy they had on was trying to find a place in Colorado Springs and it seriously made me wanna move there :D However, that will all depend with the potential job I was interviewing.
Well speaking of which, I got a call and an e-mail from them. I called the HR lady back and.... they picked me for the position! It won't be for another month or so before I can start with the paperwork and all. But I'm gonna take a break in between and maybe try to make my way to the West coast since it's been too long since I've been.
So that's what's going on. I'm watching Precious tonight so there's definitely gonnabe some crying. I'm looking forward to it, well seeing the movie :D The crying's just an extra which one needs time to time.
Just went home, and tried to fix my cousin's laptop. And just watched some TV. I seriously have to stop watching HGTV. The guy they had on was trying to find a place in Colorado Springs and it seriously made me wanna move there :D However, that will all depend with the potential job I was interviewing.
Well speaking of which, I got a call and an e-mail from them. I called the HR lady back and.... they picked me for the position! It won't be for another month or so before I can start with the paperwork and all. But I'm gonna take a break in between and maybe try to make my way to the West coast since it's been too long since I've been.
So that's what's going on. I'm watching Precious tonight so there's definitely gonnabe some crying. I'm looking forward to it, well seeing the movie :D The crying's just an extra which one needs time to time.
12 November 2009
States of Kris
Last Monday, I went back and did a 2nd interview for the job I interviewed for two weeks ago. They were more on the management side and overall, I think it went pretty well. They made a comment about my smile towards the end since I think I was smiling too much without realizing it. Some of my answers were kinda dorky when I thought about some of my answers, but I wasn't really nervous during the interview and was even making jokes. Anyways, they all tell me we'll let you know soon. This is the longest I've had to wait about a job. I'm trying not too be too confident that I'll be the one picked, but trying to think positive so hmm, how does that work? I actually sent thank you notes (I just hope they don't compare it with one another's haha) and 4 out of 5 replied which was new since I've gotten e-mails back.
So that, will see. If anything, come summer, I would consider relocating somewhere. TX, CA, AZ even. Weird as it may be, I just have this inkling to move to Arizona, granted I've never even visited, except for spending the night there en route to LA. So will see how this will pan out, my lease is 'til next summer anyways so who knows what will happen by then. I might try to live close to a city though, since I'm still in my concert-going phase, which has been quenched since moving to DC. I've gone to probably 20 concerts in 3 yrs I've lived here. That's one thing I love living here. If I do move though, it wouldn't be as rough as it was where you didn't know a single soul. This time, there will be two I'll go with so we'll manage somehow when the time comes.
I've sorta been in a funk these past few weeks, I dunno if the cold weather has partly do with it or what. but I've been reassessing things that have happened. Things I could have done better, times I could have been nicer, more loving, more thoughtful of others. But then, that's how one learns I think. You look back and do your best not to do those unloving things any longer. I think at times, I make things harder than they ought to be, and I really have to stop doing that.
The next shift's coming so will cut this short for now. Just need to drop something off at school, then will be making my way up to Baltimore to see The Cranberries, yay!! I've listened to them for like 15 yrs and it'll be awesome to finally see them live. I'm excited!!!!
A music vid's long overdue :D
So that, will see. If anything, come summer, I would consider relocating somewhere. TX, CA, AZ even. Weird as it may be, I just have this inkling to move to Arizona, granted I've never even visited, except for spending the night there en route to LA. So will see how this will pan out, my lease is 'til next summer anyways so who knows what will happen by then. I might try to live close to a city though, since I'm still in my concert-going phase, which has been quenched since moving to DC. I've gone to probably 20 concerts in 3 yrs I've lived here. That's one thing I love living here. If I do move though, it wouldn't be as rough as it was where you didn't know a single soul. This time, there will be two I'll go with so we'll manage somehow when the time comes.
I've sorta been in a funk these past few weeks, I dunno if the cold weather has partly do with it or what. but I've been reassessing things that have happened. Things I could have done better, times I could have been nicer, more loving, more thoughtful of others. But then, that's how one learns I think. You look back and do your best not to do those unloving things any longer. I think at times, I make things harder than they ought to be, and I really have to stop doing that.
The next shift's coming so will cut this short for now. Just need to drop something off at school, then will be making my way up to Baltimore to see The Cranberries, yay!! I've listened to them for like 15 yrs and it'll be awesome to finally see them live. I'm excited!!!!
A music vid's long overdue :D
29 October 2009
Epic fail
Gahhh, I did baaddddd on my Precalc test even the teacher told me he was perplexed when he saw it. Will stick it out though until this sem is over and that'll be that. I don't think I will be taking any classes next sem..
27 October 2009
Nailed it
Well, well, what do you know? I normally have to be in at work at 6 AM but Friday, was a different story. Thursday night was the usual, well, I went to the mall trying to find a suit. Went to bed and the next day, opened my eyes and saw that it was 8:30 AM. I had to think for a second what day it was, and realized I overslept. I looked at my phone and saw that I got missed calls from work. I somehow set it to silence mode the day before so didn't hear it ring, but then I really don't get woken up when the phone rings.
I called work back and told them that I'm fine, and would make it in as soon as possible. I was getting ready to get on the car when I saw there's a bit of cars backed up so I called and opted to just call out. I pretty much spent Friday running and doing errands. Went to the mall and returned some things. It was a jacket that will be missed but I need to stop buying jackets. I seem to buy one or two every year so had to put a stop to that. When I got home, I actually waxed my car after the 'repair' the guy did. It took me a good hour to do it, during which I was jamming to my iPhone, when the music started slowing down. I was wondering what did that and alas, came to find out my battery died. I seriously didn't think that would happen but yep, my car died.
None of my neighbors were around so I tried getting the booster pack that I have that recharges from the outlet and would recharge the battery. But of course, it didn't work. Somehow in the process, I managed to leave the keys in the trunk and close it. I tried getting back in to the car but it locked itself already. I cannot believe that was happening!!! I'm glad my mom just left work and was able to get back in because of her.
Weekend was quiet for the most part. I drove up to Baltimore to meet up a guy I dated a while ago before I moved to DC. It was nice catching up with him in person after 2 yrs. We've kept in touch through occassional texting/phone call. He still had those beautiful eyes I fell for *blush
Today, I took a day off actually since I had an interview to go to. I was a bit nervous since I ended up interviewing with 3 people which was a first. The most I've had was 2. The interview lasted for a good 45 minutes. They asked me about my background, and asked me technical questions, and some customer oriented ones like what would I do if a customer is screaming, or was dissatisfied with the service, etc. I was chatting with one of the interviewers when I was leaving since I had to be escorted out, and he actually told me that he feels I'd be a real asset to the agency and would want me onboard. However, I'm the first person they interviewed and they'd have to interview folks for the next 2 weeks. It'll probably be a month from now before I hear back. It's the waiting that's the killer. I've applied to a bunch of government jobs and this is a first where I actually came in for an interview. I guess that's something. I'm not trying to get my hopes up but from what it seemed like, all 3 interviewers wanted me to join the team. One joked that I can step out of the building and go back in and start working, when I asked when would the new hire start. Usually when I leave an interview, feeling good and just get the thought like I nailed it, I have been correct. The three times that has happened, I was offered the position.
I was gonna go to the High Heel Race tonight but ended up just staying in since it was rainy/windy/cold. It's a yearly event where guys in drags race for like 2 blocks in DC. I've been to 2 already so that should be enough. I'm gonna get back to watching Away We Go . It's a good movie so far, not sure why I didn't see it in the theaters.
I called work back and told them that I'm fine, and would make it in as soon as possible. I was getting ready to get on the car when I saw there's a bit of cars backed up so I called and opted to just call out. I pretty much spent Friday running and doing errands. Went to the mall and returned some things. It was a jacket that will be missed but I need to stop buying jackets. I seem to buy one or two every year so had to put a stop to that. When I got home, I actually waxed my car after the 'repair' the guy did. It took me a good hour to do it, during which I was jamming to my iPhone, when the music started slowing down. I was wondering what did that and alas, came to find out my battery died. I seriously didn't think that would happen but yep, my car died.
None of my neighbors were around so I tried getting the booster pack that I have that recharges from the outlet and would recharge the battery. But of course, it didn't work. Somehow in the process, I managed to leave the keys in the trunk and close it. I tried getting back in to the car but it locked itself already. I cannot believe that was happening!!! I'm glad my mom just left work and was able to get back in because of her.
Weekend was quiet for the most part. I drove up to Baltimore to meet up a guy I dated a while ago before I moved to DC. It was nice catching up with him in person after 2 yrs. We've kept in touch through occassional texting/phone call. He still had those beautiful eyes I fell for *blush
Today, I took a day off actually since I had an interview to go to. I was a bit nervous since I ended up interviewing with 3 people which was a first. The most I've had was 2. The interview lasted for a good 45 minutes. They asked me about my background, and asked me technical questions, and some customer oriented ones like what would I do if a customer is screaming, or was dissatisfied with the service, etc. I was chatting with one of the interviewers when I was leaving since I had to be escorted out, and he actually told me that he feels I'd be a real asset to the agency and would want me onboard. However, I'm the first person they interviewed and they'd have to interview folks for the next 2 weeks. It'll probably be a month from now before I hear back. It's the waiting that's the killer. I've applied to a bunch of government jobs and this is a first where I actually came in for an interview. I guess that's something. I'm not trying to get my hopes up but from what it seemed like, all 3 interviewers wanted me to join the team. One joked that I can step out of the building and go back in and start working, when I asked when would the new hire start. Usually when I leave an interview, feeling good and just get the thought like I nailed it, I have been correct. The three times that has happened, I was offered the position.
I was gonna go to the High Heel Race tonight but ended up just staying in since it was rainy/windy/cold. It's a yearly event where guys in drags race for like 2 blocks in DC. I've been to 2 already so that should be enough. I'm gonna get back to watching Away We Go . It's a good movie so far, not sure why I didn't see it in the theaters.
21 October 2009
For every action....
Yesterday, I did go to the gym after work, like I told myself I should be doing more of. I get off work at 2:30 and try to be home at 3. Get changed and try to head out, though a tube with an x gets in the way time to time. I tried to be out of the gym an hour and sorta had my evening laid out. Swing by the grocery store, cook, iron my work clothes, then study.
As I was driving out of the parking lot, a car was trying to get out of their spot so I stopped and let them through. The driver of the van ended up waving me down, and told me how he works at a car body shop and can do work on mine. You see, when I first moved here three summers ago, I initially was catching the metro to go to work. The first day I drove and trying to park in the garage, I miscalculated and drove into a white column. So pretty much, I’ve been driving a black car with white paint in the front bumper for 2 ½ yrs. I keep saying I’ll get around to getting it done but never did.
The guy told me he can do it for $270. That’s roughly how much I’ve been told when some other guy stopped me as well offering to do it on the spot. It, being to repair my car :D I called my coworker who knew about cars to check and he said that’s actually a pretty good price since body shops would charge $600 or so.
I just went ahead and got it done, waiting around in the parking lot with him, while his wife and son sat on their van. I’d have to say he did a pretty good job. It made me smile seeing my car the way it was when I first bought it since I’m planning to keep it for a while anyways. Now I just need to spend some time waxing my car since he told me it’s good to wax it every so often. I’ve had the car for 4 yrs come December and he said it looks good for it being that old. I take care of it as much as I can though getting that one spot fixed was never put on my to-do list.
So yeah, it kinda threw my night off and I didn’t get to cook. Still, something good can come out of it. Funny how one action changes things completely. I somehow can’t keep that in my head since usually, I don’t think of the consequences of things I do until someone brings it up.
I sooo wanna go home and nap and just skip class today… 7 ½ hrs before my day’s completely mine (T_T)
20 October 2009
Not so screwed up weekend
So figured I’d be a good son and take my mom out to a theater. Instead of picking a drama that I wanted to see, ended up getting a ticket for Shear Madness. C- took me once and it was really funny that I thought I can take my mom so did just that.
Before going home that day though, I stopped by the library since I’ve been trying to borrow Screwed Up Life of Charlie the Second. Some blogger mentioned it and it seems that it was something I was gonna like so checked it out. I’ve been waiting weeks to get it since the one time, I was getting ready to pick it up, the roads to the library were all blocked since there was a festival going on. I just had to laugh and think it wasn’t meant to be, with cursing in between. They had some sale too so I got 5 books for $1, though one or two, I’ve read previously.
After getting home, I ended up calling my cousin since he called but I didn’t get to pick up. He just wanted to check on me after we went out the previous night as you heard from the video. It took some consideration before I asked him whether he’d want to go with us to see Shear Madness. I didn’t think it was his cup of tea but he liked the show, so all’s well. We had dinner beforehand at Cali Pizza Kitchen. I tried to enjoy the night but my mom would make comments that makes me wanna smack her. I cannot be the only one, right!? Haha
Saturday, was gonna go see a movie since they had a GLBT film festival. But my coworker and I were running a bit behind so we decided to just stay at Ruby Tuesday (classy!) and had dinner and a few drinks, and just talked. We saw Couples Retreat instead which had some good laughs. We went our separate ways since she’s catching the metro while I had to walk 8 blocks back to my car since the roads were closed off when I was on my way to the city.
So that, got home and didn’t feel sleepy so ended up being awake til 5, organizing my closet and watching Modern Family. I ended up liking the show and would have to watch it more. Good thing ABC had it up on their site. I was cracking up. They had a joke about the baby being named ‘Lala’ that took me a moment to realize, and I watched it like 5 more times.
Sunday, I was gonna make my staying in day, do more cleaning, iron my clothes for the week, do laundry. I didn’t get around to the ironing part and ended up going to DC for dinner and had a few drinks. The bar was packed since it was the first day in the past seven days that it stopped raining.
Back to school Monday. I think I’m not gonna take classes in Spring. It’s funny, when I wasn’t taking any classes, I wanted to since it’ll give me something to do. And now, getting a bit annoyed since it keeps me busy. I actually prefer the ‘nothingness’ but then, if I find a balance and manage my time better, I’d be set. It’s been a long time since I volunteered so looking into that too.
So yea, the book was really good, it had me smiling, and reminded me of being in school, having crushes with guys but knowing nothing will come out of it. Meeting someone new, falling in love, doing it for the first time :D And coming to terms with who you are and being okay with it, acnes and all.
Aside from that, trying to get back in shape so started going to the gym last week. I actually went on a Saturday which is new to me. It felt like a sin going there when I could be home relaxing. I will go by myself for a bit, and if don’t see a lot of improvement, will get a trainer. I looked around but looks like the cheapest out there is $70/session for 24 sessions in 3 months. Is that the average? Anyone know?
15 October 2009
24 September 2009
Addendum
So yea... I spoke to one of the managers and she has nothing but praises. She mentioned that the big boss is really happy with me, hence the bonus I got back in August, and that he's putting me in for a pay increase. That made me glad :D It'll be really nice if I get that slot though :D She was asking if I want a home, and I felt like a kid saying yeeeeessss. I gotta call her again later so will see. Going to lunch now...
Shifts in life
I don't know if I've mentioned that they have me sorta temping again for another department. I have been since the 10th and probably will for another week.They haven't kept me busy as much as I hoped, and it sucks since I sit here, just thinking about stuff.
I've been reading a blogger's website and it's just been making me think about how I could have done things differently when I was in a relationship. At times, I don't realize how much I hurt other people until after the fact. I was having breakfast down at the shopping area and I'll admit I cried some while sitting there, trying to wipe it quick so people won't show. I was wondering how I made it known to C- that I needed him? Coz I sure as hell don't remember telling him so. I've gotten so used to not depending on others that it seemed so foreign opening up to C- or in a sense depending on him. I'd see things that needs to get done and instead of giving him things to do, I'd do 'em all and get frustrated about my inability to ask for help. That and among other things, insecurities thrown in were reasons that I had in splitting up with him. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore, but hurting him in the process of trying to prevent it. I just wanted to save him from me.
Even my mom, she comments from time to time that she's scared of me. Instead of casually brushing it off, I might have to just hear what she has to say. When I think about it, I'm not sure what happened along the way. Not having seen each other for like 8 years definitely played a role. I just don't know how to need her like I used to. I love her and all but there's been a shift along the way.
I was kinda off the other day, it built up as the day progressed that I wanted to be hugged and just be told that everything's gonnabe alright. Frustrated about.... I think I'm being impatient about getting moved to a different position here at the agency I work for. They've had me do like 4 "temp" spots since I started here, and I actually liked doing one of them. It's like move me already! And you talk to the higher ups and they tell you to get on the company website or talk to my supervisor when they're the ones who would actually make the decision so bleh.
Perhaps I'm just going through a funk. I'm hitting my 3 yrs here in DC and I'm getting the itch to move somewhere and start over. I sorta still have that mentality after having stayed in one place for only 2-3 years. There's nothing really keeping me here but then, where would I wanna go though....
As far as school goes, it's going just fine. We got our 2nd quiz for Precalc back and I got 24/40. After looking it over though, I realized my prof missed grading one question worth 8 points so scanned it last night and e-mailed him about it. Yay, my grades are improving granted it's just the 2nd quiz. Doing the assignments would definitely help more so need to get on that, instead of just looking over the notes and not doing anything else.
I've been reading a blogger's website and it's just been making me think about how I could have done things differently when I was in a relationship. At times, I don't realize how much I hurt other people until after the fact. I was having breakfast down at the shopping area and I'll admit I cried some while sitting there, trying to wipe it quick so people won't show. I was wondering how I made it known to C- that I needed him? Coz I sure as hell don't remember telling him so. I've gotten so used to not depending on others that it seemed so foreign opening up to C- or in a sense depending on him. I'd see things that needs to get done and instead of giving him things to do, I'd do 'em all and get frustrated about my inability to ask for help. That and among other things, insecurities thrown in were reasons that I had in splitting up with him. I just didn't want to hurt him anymore, but hurting him in the process of trying to prevent it. I just wanted to save him from me.
Even my mom, she comments from time to time that she's scared of me. Instead of casually brushing it off, I might have to just hear what she has to say. When I think about it, I'm not sure what happened along the way. Not having seen each other for like 8 years definitely played a role. I just don't know how to need her like I used to. I love her and all but there's been a shift along the way.
I was kinda off the other day, it built up as the day progressed that I wanted to be hugged and just be told that everything's gonnabe alright. Frustrated about.... I think I'm being impatient about getting moved to a different position here at the agency I work for. They've had me do like 4 "temp" spots since I started here, and I actually liked doing one of them. It's like move me already! And you talk to the higher ups and they tell you to get on the company website or talk to my supervisor when they're the ones who would actually make the decision so bleh.
Perhaps I'm just going through a funk. I'm hitting my 3 yrs here in DC and I'm getting the itch to move somewhere and start over. I sorta still have that mentality after having stayed in one place for only 2-3 years. There's nothing really keeping me here but then, where would I wanna go though....
As far as school goes, it's going just fine. We got our 2nd quiz for Precalc back and I got 24/40. After looking it over though, I realized my prof missed grading one question worth 8 points so scanned it last night and e-mailed him about it. Yay, my grades are improving granted it's just the 2nd quiz. Doing the assignments would definitely help more so need to get on that, instead of just looking over the notes and not doing anything else.
17 September 2009
Quiet times
I'm not sure if this will work since I'm sending it through the e-mail feature but this song makes me cry when I listen to it. I just love Dido's songs :D
You ask me where I'd go tonight i go back to today last year.
When we knew how to make each other happy, and there's hope with everything.
Its hard enough to feel the world as it is and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times you've brought round here.
I'm gonna have to run away, i'm sure that i belong some other place.
I've seen another side of all i've seen it keeps me wondering where my family is.
Its hard enough to see the world as it is, and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
Suppose i have to take you with me, broken mind i'd rather leave you here.
To forget everything you've seen and known erase every idea.
And you walk up in the street, and hold my hand and smile.
Well i won't be taken in, 'cuz i know how it turns out.
And it takes me back to these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
Your not coming back...
And i need you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
You ask me where I'd go tonight i go back to today last year.
When we knew how to make each other happy, and there's hope with everything.
Its hard enough to feel the world as it is and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times you've brought round here.
I'm gonna have to run away, i'm sure that i belong some other place.
I've seen another side of all i've seen it keeps me wondering where my family is.
Its hard enough to see the world as it is, and hold on anything.
Without these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
Suppose i have to take you with me, broken mind i'd rather leave you here.
To forget everything you've seen and known erase every idea.
And you walk up in the street, and hold my hand and smile.
Well i won't be taken in, 'cuz i know how it turns out.
And it takes me back to these quiet times coming round here.
Now i miss you...
Now i want you...
Your not coming back...
And i need you...
But i can't have you...
Even when your here...
Choices or chance
I deleted this entry after posting it but putting it back now. Thinking it through this morning, I'm writing from my point of view and how things affect me, which has nothing to do with other people. I can't blame 'em since this all happens inside.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you know!? I was doing laundry last Thursday and ended up getting locked out of the apartment. I forgot that the lock has problems where it stays locked even after it lets you in with your key and all. It happened around 6 pm and I think I showered before hand and put on my home clothes. I tried forcing the door a few times but alas, it won't open. I knocked on the neighbor's door and asked if I can go through the balconies and try getting in from there but it was locked too!
I guess am glad my mom only worked a mile away, and here I was pushing her to look for other jobs haha. It was kinda breezy but oh well, I wanted to get back in. While walking, I realized why I don't wear boxers. I wear it when I go to bed but aside from that, I don't. Somehow I decided to wear boxers and I was tenting a lot during the trek. I ended up grabbing a newspaper to cover it since I kept thinking stuff that got me horny, way to pick a time Kris.
Saturday, ended up hanging out with one coworker since the one that I was supposed to see never got back to me. I thought it was unusual of her not to respond but I found out she had problems with her telephone. So just hang out for a few years and drove to DC for a bit to look at the Real World house. Went out that night and it was okay, I guess I'm not so much of a going out person like I thought.
Aside from that, with school and stuff, we have a quiz today in both classes. I'm not sure sometimes what causes my proscrastination. I had a few hours to do stuff after getting back from the gym, somehow ended up doing things but schoolwork. I'm just gonna study later since I get off at 2:30 and class don't start til 4:30. I really haven't had a big think lately so that's a good thing. Once in a while, I get lonely/bored but I think it happens to all. It's funny getting that feeling that you wanna be with someone but at the same time, you don't. I miss C- at times, just having someone to do things with. But then, I'm not gonna try to get back with him just because of that. I'm still trying to figure some things out. I think come summer, I'm gonna find a place and live on my own. My mom's been fine to live with, and of course, here comes the but. I find myself getting annoyed by random things, the way she tries to walk me to the door when I'm leaving for work, the clinging noise when she stirs her coffee. Things I know that shouldn't bother me but it does. Kris still has some growing up to do.
Right now, they got me subbing again for another office. It's funny how I'm two buildings down from where I used to work when I first moved to DC. Makes me wonder sometimes how things would have been if I stayed there. How things would have turned out and where I would be 2 1/2 years after the big move.. :) I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to be, or am I here because of my choices?
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
What do you know!? I was doing laundry last Thursday and ended up getting locked out of the apartment. I forgot that the lock has problems where it stays locked even after it lets you in with your key and all. It happened around 6 pm and I think I showered before hand and put on my home clothes. I tried forcing the door a few times but alas, it won't open. I knocked on the neighbor's door and asked if I can go through the balconies and try getting in from there but it was locked too!
I guess am glad my mom only worked a mile away, and here I was pushing her to look for other jobs haha. It was kinda breezy but oh well, I wanted to get back in. While walking, I realized why I don't wear boxers. I wear it when I go to bed but aside from that, I don't. Somehow I decided to wear boxers and I was tenting a lot during the trek. I ended up grabbing a newspaper to cover it since I kept thinking stuff that got me horny, way to pick a time Kris.
Saturday, ended up hanging out with one coworker since the one that I was supposed to see never got back to me. I thought it was unusual of her not to respond but I found out she had problems with her telephone. So just hang out for a few years and drove to DC for a bit to look at the Real World house. Went out that night and it was okay, I guess I'm not so much of a going out person like I thought.
Aside from that, with school and stuff, we have a quiz today in both classes. I'm not sure sometimes what causes my proscrastination. I had a few hours to do stuff after getting back from the gym, somehow ended up doing things but schoolwork. I'm just gonna study later since I get off at 2:30 and class don't start til 4:30. I really haven't had a big think lately so that's a good thing. Once in a while, I get lonely/bored but I think it happens to all. It's funny getting that feeling that you wanna be with someone but at the same time, you don't. I miss C- at times, just having someone to do things with. But then, I'm not gonna try to get back with him just because of that. I'm still trying to figure some things out. I think come summer, I'm gonna find a place and live on my own. My mom's been fine to live with, and of course, here comes the but. I find myself getting annoyed by random things, the way she tries to walk me to the door when I'm leaving for work, the clinging noise when she stirs her coffee. Things I know that shouldn't bother me but it does. Kris still has some growing up to do.
Right now, they got me subbing again for another office. It's funny how I'm two buildings down from where I used to work when I first moved to DC. Makes me wonder sometimes how things would have been if I stayed there. How things would have turned out and where I would be 2 1/2 years after the big move.. :) I wonder if this is where I'm supposed to be, or am I here because of my choices?
03 September 2009
School is cool
It's been two weeks since classes started and it's been actually good so far. We had tests already this week and I can say I did well on them, even Precal. It does make a difference when one actually studies! Haha I'm retaking it since I had an epic fail last spring with the class. Granted I showed up in class, but didn't really do any work outside of class. And weird thing is, I know what I was doing and yet didn't do anything about it. One of those things I suppose. I'm changing though, granted I haven't done any of the homeworks to 'practice' on, I studied the formula at least and the notes at class so I actually knew
Aside from that, everything's been quiet for the most part. Just been working, and staying home mostly. Been reading the Harry Potter series this past few weeks and I'm on the 5th book now. It's kinda dry right now so haven't picked it up in a few days. The series is actually good, I'd end up staying up til like 1 finishing them instead of just waiting the next day. It's like "Oh my goddd, what happens next!!!?" *flip
It's been quiet on my end really. Today, will go home, wait on the Comcast guy to come. They were supposed to come by Saturday but somehow the appointment never got on the system so they told me they can do the install for free which normally costs $30 or give me HBO free for six months. I picked the HBO just so I can watch the season finale of True Blood. Coz I wanna do bad things with you.....
Aside from that, everything's been quiet for the most part. Just been working, and staying home mostly. Been reading the Harry Potter series this past few weeks and I'm on the 5th book now. It's kinda dry right now so haven't picked it up in a few days. The series is actually good, I'd end up staying up til like 1 finishing them instead of just waiting the next day. It's like "Oh my goddd, what happens next!!!?" *flip
It's been quiet on my end really. Today, will go home, wait on the Comcast guy to come. They were supposed to come by Saturday but somehow the appointment never got on the system so they told me they can do the install for free which normally costs $30 or give me HBO free for six months. I picked the HBO just so I can watch the season finale of True Blood. Coz I wanna do bad things with you.....
11 August 2009
Again and again..
I've been back to work and in the DC area after going on a trip to Chicago with my mom. We were there for almost a week and mostly just did touristy things as can be seen when you click the picture. It was a good trip, I liked Chicago and would consider moving there, if only the winter doesn't get too cold haha I certainly am not a fan of the snow.Right on the day we were leaving which was the 24th, and up til now, I've been getting headaches so that's been kicking my butt. I've gone to see a doctor but it's diagnosed at the moment as migraine. This is the longest I've ever had them so pretty much been laying low and staying home, even on the weekends. I was telling my mom how it's been a good thing since I'm not spending. Then, she turned around and said 'Well, you haven't been going out but you sure have been buying a lot online!' I'll admit I got carried away this past few weeks, pair of shoes here, book there, pants, belt, that's about it. I had to stop myself from buying another jacket at the store this past weekend. I think I might have a jacket fetish after all. I probably have about 12 now.
I really was glad this past weekend since I finally got to see Tracy Chapman! Her show was amazing, she sounded just like she did on her records. I'll admit I didn't know some of her new songs but it didn't take away from the experience. She sang all of my fave songs so that was really great. She even took a request by this one family that all got together to see her here in DC. I'm torn between The Promise and At this point in my life. I remember listening to the promise and crying, thinking it was my song to some of my loved ones, that even they're far away, I'll always be there for them. I actually named one of my blogs 'At this point in my life' but ended up keeping this one still . I probably have three or four 'hidden' blogs but I've never written posts on those. I don't know, when I feel the need to censor myself, I do consider it but at the end of the day, I still go back to this and opened up since it hasn't really hurt me doing so.
Now that summer will be over soon, I'm gonnabe taking classes again. I had to talk to one of the deans since I was foolish and flunked a class I was retaking. No excuses, I just don't apply myself from time to time. Looking back, I'd have all these things I set out to do, and I guess I get so hyped up that when the actual day comes, I just lose interest. Be it meeting new people for the first time, or experiencing something new. Like once it happens, I just go 'That was great" and that's the end of it, I lose interest.
I actually applied to 2 positions in Germany which I probably won't take. Well, there hasn't been any interviews or anything. I got bored at work and just went like, Hmm, get to live abroad again, suuure. They just posted the openings last week and I have a feeling they'll be getting a lot of people applying for it. I might just end up waiting since it's not like Germany's going anywhere, ya know? I can always visit and live there down the road. My plan was to get my Bachelor's by the time I turn 28 so that's 2 yrs from now, and if I move to Europe, I KNOW I won't be studying since I'm not a fan of online classes.
Reminds me of a 23 yr old I used to know. One would think he would have changed some by now...
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