Whoa, it didn't seem that it's been practically a year since I last posted. Alas, that's beside the point. I'm just sitting here at a bookstore with the intention of finishing my essay, but that hasn't been the case. Been doing everything but write it. It's actually nice just sitting out here, just watching people and "acting" like I'm working on something. It's refreshing instead of finding things to do at home.
It's been six months since I resigned from my job. I got back from a long vacation, thinking it would hold me over for three months which is when I was planning to leave my job otherwise. I got back, and two weeks in, put in my resignation. There really wasn't a defining moment that did me in, it was a gradual process with little things here and there, until one day, I finally was honest to myself that I can't work where I was working any longer.
Since then, I just kinda took it easy and did nothing. I initially signed up for a class but dropped it so I can take a real break or escape so to speak. It was nice not having to wake up, shower, get dressed, then go to work, go home then repeat. Granted that didn't last long since I ended up getting a puppy in mid-October. He's gonnabe eight months this April and I loooove him.
I've been doing classes full time this spring, and last week for spring break, I went to Puerto Rico for a few days to visit my old dog at my ex's parents. I haven't seen him in a few years ever since the break up and at the time, I felt that he belonged to my ex more with him having bought him and everything. It was great getting to see him again (the dog that is) that I actually cried for a good hour after going to my room and him following me and licking me and me hugging him. . Puerto Rico was nice, and it reminded me so much of the Philippines which made me miss it. He's changed but still the same. I haven't been back since 2006, but at the same time, I don't really have anyone to go back there to since most of my family are abroad. My ex's parents were really great, and his brother was there so got to hang with him, and they showed me around the West Coast. I only got to stay for four days but will definitely come back. I said goodbye to Caeden and I started crying but was happy at the same time. It just felt good getting to see him again. He's not 100 % well because of his hips which is apparently an issue boxer dogs usually have.
I'll get my dog back tomorrow, the boyfriend asked to keep him a week after watching him while I was gone. It helped since I got to just take it easy, and do some spring cleaning, which I probably would not have done if the puppy was here. It's not so much that he needs to go out constantly but I've become attached and liked having him around me all the time.
Today, I came by my old job to do interviews for a school paper. It was nice seeing some people I used to work with/for, and just catch up. I stayed for a few hours, and instead of going home, went to the bookstore for a bit. Gotta get back to the essay....well to it.
Today was a good day, and I'm thankful I got to see this day.
22 March 2013
04 March 2012
Back "home" again...
I'm on the train heading back to DC after spending a weekend in Philly. The first time I actually spent some time here instead of driving up and back the same day. The past two times have been mainly to see a live show which coincidentally is the same band, Florence and the Machine two consecutive years.
I actually came up to spend time with a guy I finally met in person after having spoken/texted for the past seven months. He was in Baltimore not too long ago for a conference and with it being only an hour away, I decided to drive up and have lunch with him. I was initially planning on going Friday night but alas, that didn't happen since I got too tired by the time I got home from work. Ran late Saturday morning so we only got to hang out for close to two hours, since he had to catch a train back home. We opted for a diner, and just chatted and talked about random things: our backgrounds, work, hobbies, etc and music. It still makes me giddy when I meet people who listen to all sorts of music, and knows the obscure artists I like.
Since then, he's visited DC twice and I figured it'll be my turn to visit this time around. He's a really great guy, real loving and looks out for his loved ones, and has a good sense of humor and gets my jokes/has come backs to my sarcasm. And cute to boot, and a really great dresser. It just clicked when we met, and when we were talking about it one time, he said it scares him a bit but I get him. And I can say the same thing. It's interesting how life is sometimes, I've met guys ever since I moved to DC and the one I just connected with isn't even local but oh well, it's still a good thing.
Other than that, my best friend moved back to the area so that was nice. I never thought he would from the way that he used to talk about hating DC, but guess if you just look for things to see/do, it changes what you think of it. Or at least that's how I see it. True, time to time I hate it here but I think that happens when I don't make an effort of seeing what's going on in the area. So anyways, he's gonna be renting out the spare room in the house. I initially was gonna stay in it, and rent out the basement instead but after seeing all the stuff involved to rent it legally, figured I'll be better off staying in it to get some more room.
Work-wise, I'm still meh about it. I got promoted so my role has changed some and I'm now a lead in one of our section's team. There's just so much that's been going on the past few months: systems going down, learning my new job function and taking off some of my hats from my previous role, it gets to me at times that I get frustrated and just wanna leave. I'll give it sometime though and see how things go, and make changes to what I think can be improved. By default, I'm one to just up and leave if I feel something's not working, instead of trying to work things through. Anywho, the train's in DC now so will be signing off so I can go home and call it a day.
I actually came up to spend time with a guy I finally met in person after having spoken/texted for the past seven months. He was in Baltimore not too long ago for a conference and with it being only an hour away, I decided to drive up and have lunch with him. I was initially planning on going Friday night but alas, that didn't happen since I got too tired by the time I got home from work. Ran late Saturday morning so we only got to hang out for close to two hours, since he had to catch a train back home. We opted for a diner, and just chatted and talked about random things: our backgrounds, work, hobbies, etc and music. It still makes me giddy when I meet people who listen to all sorts of music, and knows the obscure artists I like.
Since then, he's visited DC twice and I figured it'll be my turn to visit this time around. He's a really great guy, real loving and looks out for his loved ones, and has a good sense of humor and gets my jokes/has come backs to my sarcasm. And cute to boot, and a really great dresser. It just clicked when we met, and when we were talking about it one time, he said it scares him a bit but I get him. And I can say the same thing. It's interesting how life is sometimes, I've met guys ever since I moved to DC and the one I just connected with isn't even local but oh well, it's still a good thing.
Other than that, my best friend moved back to the area so that was nice. I never thought he would from the way that he used to talk about hating DC, but guess if you just look for things to see/do, it changes what you think of it. Or at least that's how I see it. True, time to time I hate it here but I think that happens when I don't make an effort of seeing what's going on in the area. So anyways, he's gonna be renting out the spare room in the house. I initially was gonna stay in it, and rent out the basement instead but after seeing all the stuff involved to rent it legally, figured I'll be better off staying in it to get some more room.
Work-wise, I'm still meh about it. I got promoted so my role has changed some and I'm now a lead in one of our section's team. There's just so much that's been going on the past few months: systems going down, learning my new job function and taking off some of my hats from my previous role, it gets to me at times that I get frustrated and just wanna leave. I'll give it sometime though and see how things go, and make changes to what I think can be improved. By default, I'm one to just up and leave if I feel something's not working, instead of trying to work things through. Anywho, the train's in DC now so will be signing off so I can go home and call it a day.
23 January 2012
Darn coffee
Well so much for enjoying a starbucks coffee last earlier today. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if it's me staying up this time last night or drinking coffee today that has me still awake at this hour. Good thing we have a delayed arrival of 11 AM tomorrow.
The weekend was pretty quiet overall. It was productive to an extent since I got my room organized some more. Been purging things that I no longer need/have a use for but started with my clothes mainly. I don't think my style has changed much except I accumulated quite a bit, going back to 2003. The house doesn't really have that much closet space, so just really need to decrease what I have.
Other than that, lost my phone Friday so that sucked a bit. It fell off of my jacket while I was riding the bike. The phone did have a feature that let me locate it/send message to it, but alas whoever found it didn't plan on returning it despite of me offering to give them money for it/numerous times it was called. It sucks people would do that but ah well, guess they balance the ones who returns things they found like the one time I dropped my phone on the bus. It didn't have a passcode at that time, that I felt vulnerable that they would see every text/e-mails/pictures the phone has. But alas, the most they did was look through my contacts and call my mom to tell her they found her son's phone. I was so touched by what they did I ended up getting them a thank you/gift card as a token of my appreciation.
Getting back to the now, work's been kicking my ass the past few weeks. It's like all its pieces keep acting up one way or another, and as much as it's not because of my doing, it still sucks. I find myself dreading to get up and come in, knowing that a call or e-mail would come in saying something's wrong with it. I still have so much to learn about it, but all these problems happening are forcing me to learn quicker so just gotta look at it that way, but it still SUCKS!!! I put my resume out just to get a feel for jobs out there but will see. My goal is to really know about the product I'm supporting in and out, but will have to learn it on my own.
Well, sleepiness is sneaking in. Gotta take advantage of it, nite!
The weekend was pretty quiet overall. It was productive to an extent since I got my room organized some more. Been purging things that I no longer need/have a use for but started with my clothes mainly. I don't think my style has changed much except I accumulated quite a bit, going back to 2003. The house doesn't really have that much closet space, so just really need to decrease what I have.
Other than that, lost my phone Friday so that sucked a bit. It fell off of my jacket while I was riding the bike. The phone did have a feature that let me locate it/send message to it, but alas whoever found it didn't plan on returning it despite of me offering to give them money for it/numerous times it was called. It sucks people would do that but ah well, guess they balance the ones who returns things they found like the one time I dropped my phone on the bus. It didn't have a passcode at that time, that I felt vulnerable that they would see every text/e-mails/pictures the phone has. But alas, the most they did was look through my contacts and call my mom to tell her they found her son's phone. I was so touched by what they did I ended up getting them a thank you/gift card as a token of my appreciation.
Getting back to the now, work's been kicking my ass the past few weeks. It's like all its pieces keep acting up one way or another, and as much as it's not because of my doing, it still sucks. I find myself dreading to get up and come in, knowing that a call or e-mail would come in saying something's wrong with it. I still have so much to learn about it, but all these problems happening are forcing me to learn quicker so just gotta look at it that way, but it still SUCKS!!! I put my resume out just to get a feel for jobs out there but will see. My goal is to really know about the product I'm supporting in and out, but will have to learn it on my own.
Well, sleepiness is sneaking in. Gotta take advantage of it, nite!
05 January 2012
New Beginnings
Well, so much for leaving DC after the summer. Between those three posts from the past year, and now, I ended up buying a place which we moved into late November. It still threw me off some eventhough the move was only within a 10-mile radius. It was a good location, pretty close to downtown as small as DC is. There is a metro station that is walking distance, shops, grocery stores nearby as well. Though with it being cold, I haven't had a chance to explore the neighborhood more by walking but I'm familiar with it to an extent. Though there's always something nice when you discover hidden gems when you just walk around, like I used to do.
Work's alright I suppose. I moved to a different position few months ago, and learned the system that my agency has implemented. However, people would still e-mail/call me about stuff that I used to do. Granted I can do them, it adds up if one or two people would contact me everyday about little issues while I'm trying to focus on things I should be doing. It's getting frustrating, and the people that they hired at my previous role are not too technical either so that's definitely not helping since they pass on everything to us now. Maybe if they try, I'd be more understanding but that isn't always the case so bleh, it's annoying.
Whew, I'm definitely gonna try to post more though instead of talking about it, I should just start doing it. I miss just having an outlet to put my thoughts down, and being able to look back and see how I was feeling, and what my concerns and hopes were at that certain time.
Yesterday, I ended up taking off since I had to go to the dentist for a routine checkup. It just wasn't something I had growing up, ha! 16 yrs old and I only went to the dentist once, and it was at our school which was mandatory. I drank a lot of soda when I was younger, not knowing it messes up the teeth's enamel, so my teeth are a smaller than they could be otherwise. Will work on that later though, and will be getting braces instead. It's a tad expensive but it'll help fix my teeth, maybe making me feel better about myself too? I don't really think about my teeth too much, since I still have a nice smile (well I've been told haha) but when I see people with really nice teeth, I get jealous.
A photographer was doing some natural portrait series back in 2009. I did it for free, well not free I guess since she gave us a choice of either getting paid, or getting a copy of the pictures which I chose. She said she really liked my smile, yet picked one where I really wasn't..Huh!? But getting back to the point, the pic shows the gaps that'll get fixed when I get braces. I'm curious how it'll change my look/how I feel about myself. I've gotten used to it ya know, though I'm really hoping it'll sssstop my mild lisp. My tongue sticks out a bit with the 's' sound so yea, that I'm looking forward to.
Work's alright I suppose. I moved to a different position few months ago, and learned the system that my agency has implemented. However, people would still e-mail/call me about stuff that I used to do. Granted I can do them, it adds up if one or two people would contact me everyday about little issues while I'm trying to focus on things I should be doing. It's getting frustrating, and the people that they hired at my previous role are not too technical either so that's definitely not helping since they pass on everything to us now. Maybe if they try, I'd be more understanding but that isn't always the case so bleh, it's annoying.
Whew, I'm definitely gonna try to post more though instead of talking about it, I should just start doing it. I miss just having an outlet to put my thoughts down, and being able to look back and see how I was feeling, and what my concerns and hopes were at that certain time.
Yesterday, I ended up taking off since I had to go to the dentist for a routine checkup. It just wasn't something I had growing up, ha! 16 yrs old and I only went to the dentist once, and it was at our school which was mandatory. I drank a lot of soda when I was younger, not knowing it messes up the teeth's enamel, so my teeth are a smaller than they could be otherwise. Will work on that later though, and will be getting braces instead. It's a tad expensive but it'll help fix my teeth, maybe making me feel better about myself too? I don't really think about my teeth too much, since I still have a nice smile (well I've been told haha) but when I see people with really nice teeth, I get jealous.
A photographer was doing some natural portrait series back in 2009. I did it for free, well not free I guess since she gave us a choice of either getting paid, or getting a copy of the pictures which I chose. She said she really liked my smile, yet picked one where I really wasn't..Huh!? But getting back to the point, the pic shows the gaps that'll get fixed when I get braces. I'm curious how it'll change my look/how I feel about myself. I've gotten used to it ya know, though I'm really hoping it'll sssstop my mild lisp. My tongue sticks out a bit with the 's' sound so yea, that I'm looking forward to.
02 October 2011
Wherever you go
Typing this on a Sunday morning after being awake for two hours now. It's nice to finally just get a breather since work's been kicking my butt the past few weeks. Can't believe it's almost fall already, time definitely goes by fast, yet at some point, it seems to be really slow at the same time.
I had a good summer overall, my family from Norway visited the U.S. It was nice to see them again after five years, and I'm making it a point of not letting that long of a gap happen again. It was nice just spending time with them, taking them sightseeing, walking around the city, and just staying at home, doing whatever we please. During their stay, we went to Florida as well to visit my aunt and uncle. Went to see some military museums, and hit the beach. I was seriously surprised I got sunburned, I didn't think it applies to me haha
The family left but my grandma ended up staying with me for almost a month. She was supposed to stay in FL but preferred my place more so that was that. Then two weeks in, my cousin ended up coming here to the area to move. We've been sharing my place for about a month now, and though it works, we definitely need a bigger place. Been looking for places, but won't really get to move for another month or two. With that happening, I'm pretty much staying put in DC for a few more years at least.
I'm working on some things to make my living here better with that in mind. I actually like the area but sometimes I forget, when I get bogged down with stuff and thinking a move will make things better. But then, I realize that what I'm trying to change are external factors when I need to look within and really work on myself. Like what's said, wherever you go, there you are so I can move to a place that I think will make me happy, but I still will be carrying the same thoughts.
27 March 2011
Decisions
My time in DC will be over this summer if things go according to planned. Initially my plan was to stick it out one more year which will be December once my lease is up, but now I'm looking into leaving come August.
My boss is already aware of it, though she wanted me to hell the section head which I did but of course, he wants to talk to me more about it.
I'm kinda excited about the move, but alas when I overthink it, all the reasons that I shouldn't move creeps up. Professionally, it might not be the smartest decision since I'm actually gonna leave work and pursue my studies full-time, eventhough it'll still be in the same field. It's not too bad going to school full time but part of me still wants to just do it full-time (and only work maybe part-time or not even) to see what it's like. Maybe it's just what I'm doing now but I seriously feel I like need some time off since I dread even going in to work these days.
I think my trip to Greece really did a number on me, I met all these folks who've travelled all over the world, some who kinda lives a nomadic life moving from one country to another. It kinda made me think how eventhough I make 2x or 3x what they're making, they seem content. The money's nice but I feel like I just want more from life now. It just felt that some things aren't working any longer so I'm working on changing that.
I'm reevaluating my life and working on finding out what my motivations were in doing/not doing certain things, looking back at the mistakes I made and what I can do to prevent it from happening again. I'm turning 28 this year and after reading about this seven year cycles we all go through. Part of me is freaking out like "You need to get your shit straight!" since I feel like I've missed out on certain things, internalizing so much that I shut myself from the outside world.
Anyways, I need to get to bed. This is one thing I can probably work on is to sleep early since when I sleep now, I'd have to get up in 4 1/2-5 hours so definitely not looking forward to it.
My boss is already aware of it, though she wanted me to hell the section head which I did but of course, he wants to talk to me more about it.
I'm kinda excited about the move, but alas when I overthink it, all the reasons that I shouldn't move creeps up. Professionally, it might not be the smartest decision since I'm actually gonna leave work and pursue my studies full-time, eventhough it'll still be in the same field. It's not too bad going to school full time but part of me still wants to just do it full-time (and only work maybe part-time or not even) to see what it's like. Maybe it's just what I'm doing now but I seriously feel I like need some time off since I dread even going in to work these days.
I think my trip to Greece really did a number on me, I met all these folks who've travelled all over the world, some who kinda lives a nomadic life moving from one country to another. It kinda made me think how eventhough I make 2x or 3x what they're making, they seem content. The money's nice but I feel like I just want more from life now. It just felt that some things aren't working any longer so I'm working on changing that.
I'm reevaluating my life and working on finding out what my motivations were in doing/not doing certain things, looking back at the mistakes I made and what I can do to prevent it from happening again. I'm turning 28 this year and after reading about this seven year cycles we all go through. Part of me is freaking out like "You need to get your shit straight!" since I feel like I've missed out on certain things, internalizing so much that I shut myself from the outside world.
Anyways, I need to get to bed. This is one thing I can probably work on is to sleep early since when I sleep now, I'd have to get up in 4 1/2-5 hours so definitely not looking forward to it.
14 March 2011
See the world
I'm back "home" now after taking a trip to Greece that's been put off for too long. I made an online friend through mIRC back in 2003 when I first got my computer, and we've managed to stay in contact after all this time. It was spring break from school, and I felt the need to get away from anything familiar. Initially, my intent was to go to Puerto Rico so I can see my pet boxer who's been gone for two years now. But alas, that didn't work out and opted for Greece which was my backup, so to speak.
It was a nice trip, albeit a bit too short it feels like. Getting there felt like an eternity though since between layovers, it took roughly 20 hours to get to Crete on Saturday, when I left the US on a Friday. I instantly recognized my friend, we shook hands and made our way to his car where we both gave each other a hug, the real greeting we deserved. I got to see different parts of the island, had Greek food, saw a carnaval, met couchsurfers, etc. The food was amazing, even the local cheese was to die for that I wanted to bring some back so bad but of course, it wasn't allowed. I definitely would want to go back during the summer since it was still cold out, and having the beach/water close to you was in vain since you can't really swim in it.
During my trip, I just explored the city mainly and learned more about its history, after having heard about it four years ago when I took History of Western Civilization. I walked the grounds of Knossos, went around the Venetian walls and fortress, seen things linked to El Greco, Nikos Kazantzakis, etc. My friend ended up taking me to Chania and Rethymno as well so I think I did decent for only having stayed seven days, big thanks to my friend.
I actually saved a job I found in that part of Greece but didn't get to apply for it since I got confused where the posting was, finding it AFTER the fact, of course. It'll be real nice (at least I think) to live in Europe where it's relatively easy to just hop on the plane and go to a different country, even for a weekend. A few people I've met have been travelling for a while, and it made me a bit jealous, I'll admit. I've always wanted to bum around Europe for a few months, and see/experience different things. It bummed me out but at the same time, I'm excited about making it happen and I've promised myself that I'll work towards that goal when I return to the U.S. I'm gonna make it a point of travelling more from now on, though that months of backpacking around Europe might wait a little bit, perhaps I'll even go to school/work there, baby steps...
It was a nice trip, albeit a bit too short it feels like. Getting there felt like an eternity though since between layovers, it took roughly 20 hours to get to Crete on Saturday, when I left the US on a Friday. I instantly recognized my friend, we shook hands and made our way to his car where we both gave each other a hug, the real greeting we deserved. I got to see different parts of the island, had Greek food, saw a carnaval, met couchsurfers, etc. The food was amazing, even the local cheese was to die for that I wanted to bring some back so bad but of course, it wasn't allowed. I definitely would want to go back during the summer since it was still cold out, and having the beach/water close to you was in vain since you can't really swim in it.
During my trip, I just explored the city mainly and learned more about its history, after having heard about it four years ago when I took History of Western Civilization. I walked the grounds of Knossos, went around the Venetian walls and fortress, seen things linked to El Greco, Nikos Kazantzakis, etc. My friend ended up taking me to Chania and Rethymno as well so I think I did decent for only having stayed seven days, big thanks to my friend.
I actually saved a job I found in that part of Greece but didn't get to apply for it since I got confused where the posting was, finding it AFTER the fact, of course. It'll be real nice (at least I think) to live in Europe where it's relatively easy to just hop on the plane and go to a different country, even for a weekend. A few people I've met have been travelling for a while, and it made me a bit jealous, I'll admit. I've always wanted to bum around Europe for a few months, and see/experience different things. It bummed me out but at the same time, I'm excited about making it happen and I've promised myself that I'll work towards that goal when I return to the U.S. I'm gonna make it a point of travelling more from now on, though that months of backpacking around Europe might wait a little bit, perhaps I'll even go to school/work there, baby steps...
04 February 2011
Kicking my ass
Wowwww, this new schedule is kicking my ass a little bit. Mon-Thurs, I'm pretty much work-school-home-sleep repeat. Four weeks in to school, and it's actually nice to be back. The Sign Language class is getting more interesting now that I know to do basic signs: introducing myself, describing people well more like what they're wearing, some actions, etc. We were supposed to have exams last week but got pushed back to this week coz of the snow. DC's definitely been hit hard this past two winters than what I can remember since moving here. So with these cancellations, it gave me more time to study except I really didn't. I waited til the day of to try to cram as much as I can haha.. I really thought it'll be different now, except it's not. I did the same thing back in elementary school, loooord.
Aside from that, things have been mixed to be honest. I'm torn as to what my next move will be. I feel that my time in DC is ending, and I'm ready for a change. It's been good living here, but at times, I just hate it so much for a mix of reasons. They always say there's a deeper reason why you feel the way you feel about things and I'm still trying to determine what they are. Work-wise, it's good for the most part but at times, when politics gets mixed in, I just wanna bolt out of the door. It irks me when people try to pull ranks and stuff, like seriously, what kind of person does that!? Or if not that, say one thing then turn around and make a 180 flip and make me (department) look bad in the process. My boss is telling me to try to stick out another year so that's that, will see how the next few months pan out. I'm applying to jobs all over and might make the leap wherever I get hired first. I've said on my profile that I'd be interested to move overseas even, or in another part of the country. Cali would be nice though, i think. I'm ready for sunny year around hehe
Definitely could use a vacay so looking into my options next month. With being in school and all, I can take off one week at the most. I have two places in mind right now: one is where I'll see someone I've missed these past few years, or other is I'll get to meet someone who I've known for 8 years online. Need to decide though before it gets too close to the date and plane ticket prices go up. It'll be nice either way, just a change of environment and be around something familiar.
That's it mainly, just taking it slow this weekend after getting drunk two weeks ago that I threw up in a cab ride. Guess like they say, there's always a first :-o Am glad the taxi driver was nice about it from what I remember. I think I was chatty and friendly to her during the ride so maybe that helped. That's from my tiny recollection of how the evening went.
Aside from that, things have been mixed to be honest. I'm torn as to what my next move will be. I feel that my time in DC is ending, and I'm ready for a change. It's been good living here, but at times, I just hate it so much for a mix of reasons. They always say there's a deeper reason why you feel the way you feel about things and I'm still trying to determine what they are. Work-wise, it's good for the most part but at times, when politics gets mixed in, I just wanna bolt out of the door. It irks me when people try to pull ranks and stuff, like seriously, what kind of person does that!? Or if not that, say one thing then turn around and make a 180 flip and make me (department) look bad in the process. My boss is telling me to try to stick out another year so that's that, will see how the next few months pan out. I'm applying to jobs all over and might make the leap wherever I get hired first. I've said on my profile that I'd be interested to move overseas even, or in another part of the country. Cali would be nice though, i think. I'm ready for sunny year around hehe
Definitely could use a vacay so looking into my options next month. With being in school and all, I can take off one week at the most. I have two places in mind right now: one is where I'll see someone I've missed these past few years, or other is I'll get to meet someone who I've known for 8 years online. Need to decide though before it gets too close to the date and plane ticket prices go up. It'll be nice either way, just a change of environment and be around something familiar.
That's it mainly, just taking it slow this weekend after getting drunk two weeks ago that I threw up in a cab ride. Guess like they say, there's always a first :-o Am glad the taxi driver was nice about it from what I remember. I think I was chatty and friendly to her during the ride so maybe that helped. That's from my tiny recollection of how the evening went.
24 January 2011
Back to basics
Well, after using multiple URL's for my blog, I decided to go back to my original one. Of course, I was bubbling with stuff to write about and now it's coming up blank.
It's 10 PM as I'm writing this and have one more hour to go that I stay up since I'm on 'stand-by.' They wanted us to be on call at work in case something happens IT-wise in our offices in the East Coast. It's been an interesting year having gotten this government job I'm currently in. I'm not sure what I was hoping to experience when I become one but I guess you kinda get over it once you become one.
2010 was kinda a blur overall, even in my personal life. It felt like I coasted through it I'll admit that when it's drawing close to an end, I wrote down things I'd want to change for the upcoming year. I didn't take classes, didn't do volunteer work, amongst other things. So far, I'm making progress with the 1st month of 2011 coming to a close. I'm signed up for two classes, Chemistry and Sign Language. Been going to the gym more as well, partly coz I have to now since I got a personal trainer, something I definitely didn't think I would do but I guess never say never. We did some checks today and I'm actually making progress, though not as much as I could be. Changing my eating habits is taking a little getting used to, since now I have to eat protein more than anything.
I'm soo sleepy, 24 more minutes to go (T_T)
It's 10 PM as I'm writing this and have one more hour to go that I stay up since I'm on 'stand-by.' They wanted us to be on call at work in case something happens IT-wise in our offices in the East Coast. It's been an interesting year having gotten this government job I'm currently in. I'm not sure what I was hoping to experience when I become one but I guess you kinda get over it once you become one.
2010 was kinda a blur overall, even in my personal life. It felt like I coasted through it I'll admit that when it's drawing close to an end, I wrote down things I'd want to change for the upcoming year. I didn't take classes, didn't do volunteer work, amongst other things. So far, I'm making progress with the 1st month of 2011 coming to a close. I'm signed up for two classes, Chemistry and Sign Language. Been going to the gym more as well, partly coz I have to now since I got a personal trainer, something I definitely didn't think I would do but I guess never say never. We did some checks today and I'm actually making progress, though not as much as I could be. Changing my eating habits is taking a little getting used to, since now I have to eat protein more than anything.
I'm soo sleepy, 24 more minutes to go (T_T)
28 December 2010
Getting back
Well, Christmas is over, and we're getting close to a new year. Eventhough I haven't been blogging, I've kept track of the previous year through my planner. A lot of stuff actually happened though at times, it felt like nothing much went on.
It's quiet at work today since everyone's pretty much out which is a good thing. I need to do some stuff before the year's over but thought I'd take a moment to gather my thoughts, and write them down somewhere.
Yesterday was a good day overall, well it completely turned around since during the morning, I was so upset having to pick up somebody else's slack that I about cried and want to leave my job. I calmed down a bit after getting back to the office though, and normally I'd sulk and not talk to anybody, but with it being just my boss and I, it just felt like the wrong thing to do. Not so much wrong, but it's unfair at times to other people when I take out things on them when they didn't do anything to me. Sometimes, we need to have a social face that eventhough we're close to breaking down, we have to show otherwise to other people. I'll have to post something I read about this....
Going back to yesterday, my friend and I planned to see a movie at one of my fave places, the Drafthouse. It's a theater but they serve food and drinks before the show/event, and I've gone there numerous times since moving here. My coworker ended up coming along, will call her G-, along with my friends H- and L-. It was fun, we just had little banters until the movie started, them making fun of my 'indecisiveness' and how it should be my middle name...thing is it's true.
I've been making some changes in my life little by little. One of the main things was that I moved out of the apartment I was sharing with a roommate and found a place to myself. This is the first time in 4 years I've lived alone, and I did miss it. I'm still getting the apartment set up, but it sure is nice to have "my" place again. Will post pics eventually.
Will keep it short for now, since I figured I had to start somewhere. Hope everyone had a nice Christmas :)
It's quiet at work today since everyone's pretty much out which is a good thing. I need to do some stuff before the year's over but thought I'd take a moment to gather my thoughts, and write them down somewhere.
Yesterday was a good day overall, well it completely turned around since during the morning, I was so upset having to pick up somebody else's slack that I about cried and want to leave my job. I calmed down a bit after getting back to the office though, and normally I'd sulk and not talk to anybody, but with it being just my boss and I, it just felt like the wrong thing to do. Not so much wrong, but it's unfair at times to other people when I take out things on them when they didn't do anything to me. Sometimes, we need to have a social face that eventhough we're close to breaking down, we have to show otherwise to other people. I'll have to post something I read about this....
Going back to yesterday, my friend and I planned to see a movie at one of my fave places, the Drafthouse. It's a theater but they serve food and drinks before the show/event, and I've gone there numerous times since moving here. My coworker ended up coming along, will call her G-, along with my friends H- and L-. It was fun, we just had little banters until the movie started, them making fun of my 'indecisiveness' and how it should be my middle name...thing is it's true.
I've been making some changes in my life little by little. One of the main things was that I moved out of the apartment I was sharing with a roommate and found a place to myself. This is the first time in 4 years I've lived alone, and I did miss it. I'm still getting the apartment set up, but it sure is nice to have "my" place again. Will post pics eventually.
Will keep it short for now, since I figured I had to start somewhere. Hope everyone had a nice Christmas :)
09 June 2010
Changes
Well, a year has passed and it's time to move again, granted it'll be like within a 20 mile radius, I think even less but still. My intent was to stay at this apartment I'm in for 2 years but somehow these past six months, things kinda changed that. I got tired of the surroundings, and the people upstairs are just real loud walkers, no matter what time of day it is.
Today was good overall. A conversation with a coworker enlightened me over a decision I brewing on for a whole week. It was work related but still, it was doing me in. I'm given more responsibility at work now, and granted I do well, that thing known as doubt rears its head and makes me question my abilities.
I ended up not living work til 5, so much for living early! I ended up talking to one of the field guys for a good hour about work and our pasts. He's going through a divorce right now which breaks my heart, since it's never easy. But then what do I know, at times it's necessary to happen before the one.
Will write more tomorrow since I'm sleepy. Nite!
25 February 2010
Spoon or Fork
Found this a while ago but sharing to those who hasn't read it
INT. SILVERWARE DRAWER - NIGHT
A SPOON creeps toward an empty slot in a cutlery caddy.A lamp flickers on.
The Spoon GASPS.The FORK scowls at the Spoon, his tines shaking in anger. FORK
Where have you been?
SPOONUm ... I was taking a midnight dip ... in the sink.
FORKAlone?
SPOONI suppose you're going to accuse me of sneaking off with one of the knives from the butcher block again. And that you imagined that you heard us clinking together in the dark.
The Fork hands the Spoon a manila file folder.FORK
I hired the spatula to follow you. He took these pictures.
The Spoon slowly opens the folder. She finds photographs of herself frolicking with a dish on the dish rack.FORKIs it true? Are you diddlin' the Dish?
SPOONForky ...
FORK
(turning away)
Oh god ...
SPOONI didn't plan it. I was just lying in the spoon rest, and the next thing I knew, I found myself plunged into his hot, sticky --
FORKYou can tell me he dipped you. You can tell me he's stirred you, but please, please, tell me he didn't ...
SPOONSpoon me?
The Forks looks directly at her, but now the Spoon turns away.FORK
We were happy once. Remember the night when you first ran your fingers through my tines ... What happened?
SPOONI could say it's not you. I could say it's me, but it'd be a lie.
FORKIt's my agoraphobia, isn't it?
SPOONI can't spend the rest of my life shut away in this drawer, Forky. I want to see the world before I'm too tarnished to go anywhere.
FORKI'll change. I'll ... I'll ...
The Spoon smiles sadly, her oval head drooping.SPOON
I'd better go.
The Spoon pushes the drawer open and hops out.The Fork crawls after her.
FORK
Spoonie! Spoonie, come back!
The Fork tries to follow her, but freezes at the edge of the drawer. He folds over as if touched by the invisible hands of Uri Geller, collapsing into a sobbing heap of metal and tines.09 February 2010
Armour love
Hearing this song kinda shook me since during the time I was with C-, I did just that except the part believing I belonged to somebody else. I don't know if I've grown a lot since the split, or I'm just managing better since I'm alone again but things don't get to me like they used to anymore. Not sure if it's a conscious decision or not.
You pull on your armour And put up defences
Why do you want to? Because I'm here to protect you
So take it easy I'll make it so easy
You can lay your head down And we'll leave it til tomorrow
You seem to believe you belong to somebody else
When you leave me alone in this world You know that I'm in hell
When you know what it's like To be lonely and by yourself
When your life is tangled You wear your disguises
But why do you need to When I'm standing here beside you?
So take it easy I'll make it so easy
You can lay your head down And we'll leave it til tomorrow
You seem to believe you belong to somebody else
When you leave me alone in this world You know that I'm in hell
When you know what it's like To be lonely and by yourself
Slipping through my fingers And into another's
Tell me why won't you turn back?
You seem to believe you belong to somebody else
(You know what it's like you shouldn't have to be told)
When you leave me alone in this world
You know that I'm in hell
(It's hard enough when you're alone in the world)
When you know what it's like
To be lonely and by yourself
(x2)
You pull on your armour And put up defences
Why do you want to? Because I'm here to protect you
So take it easy I'll make it so easy
You can lay your head down And we'll leave it til tomorrow
You seem to believe you belong to somebody else
When you leave me alone in this world You know that I'm in hell
When you know what it's like To be lonely and by yourself
When your life is tangled You wear your disguises
But why do you need to When I'm standing here beside you?
So take it easy I'll make it so easy
You can lay your head down And we'll leave it til tomorrow
You seem to believe you belong to somebody else
When you leave me alone in this world You know that I'm in hell
When you know what it's like To be lonely and by yourself
Slipping through my fingers And into another's
Tell me why won't you turn back?
You seem to believe you belong to somebody else
(You know what it's like you shouldn't have to be told)
When you leave me alone in this world
You know that I'm in hell
(It's hard enough when you're alone in the world)
When you know what it's like
To be lonely and by yourself
(x2)
You'll find a way
Well, guess I missed putting my thoughts down on something after all and found myself wanting to write and share things. The DC area has seen its most snow in a while so the offices have been closed for two days now so it's definitely been a looong weekend. There's another one coming so will see about that. I was worrying since I got tickets to see La Roux and I might not be able to get in to DC with the snow and all but will see. Last week, I got to see The Magnetic Fields after missing their show the last time. I did buy tickets but forgot it somehow and realized when the concert was underway. They certainly did not disappoint, though it's weird how you would not have paid them anymind if you passed any of them in the streets. I've listened to them going on six years now after hearing this song from a movie. It just went from there, and that's when I found out about 69 Love Songs. It's interesting how the lyrics change their meaning after you've experienced love. So with Feb, it's a season of concerts since I had 3 to go to this month.
Work-wise, it's been going good. I've enjoyed being at my current job. I might have said it before but the folks are really awesome, and I'm given more responsibilities which I'm trying to do really well in. There's definitely room for growth so can see myself being there for a while. They have offices throughout the country so I'm gonna try to get reassigned somewhere warmer in the West Coast, or even Texas so will see.
Here comes the snow again. Gotta get cooking in case the power dies again.
Work-wise, it's been going good. I've enjoyed being at my current job. I might have said it before but the folks are really awesome, and I'm given more responsibilities which I'm trying to do really well in. There's definitely room for growth so can see myself being there for a while. They have offices throughout the country so I'm gonna try to get reassigned somewhere warmer in the West Coast, or even Texas so will see.
Here comes the snow again. Gotta get cooking in case the power dies again.
25 January 2010
Leaving a mark
Thanks to all the friendships I've made along the way but for a while, I've taken the role of an observer and a quiet reader instead of posting and commenting. Eventhough I haven't commented, I'm still here, and always will be. I think I've met pretty much most of my blogger friends, except one or two. It's a promise I've made to myself from the beginning and pretty much has been successful. It makes me sad when people just up and abandon their blogs, so chose not to do that. After all this time, I'm alright with the one I got.
Life's a never-ending cycle. You laugh, you cry, you get hurt, you knowingly/unknowingly hurt others. You hate, and of course, you love. One can't exist without the other, just a matter of finding a balance and making peace with one's self. It's interesting how time changes you, things you thought that mattered, doesn't always in the end and vice versa, though it's not always easy to figure out which is which. I think I've come along since I started this blog few years ago, and am thankful for having a way to just let things out of my mind and my heart. I feel lighter on my shoulders now. I find myself censoring what to write and I didn't want to get to that point where I don't write about things that matter...even if it was just to me.
"Everybody wants to leave something behind them, some impression, some mark upon the world. And then you think, you've left a mark on the world if you just get through it and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the world. I think it's better just to enjoy it. Pay your dues and enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you."
Life's a never-ending cycle. You laugh, you cry, you get hurt, you knowingly/unknowingly hurt others. You hate, and of course, you love. One can't exist without the other, just a matter of finding a balance and making peace with one's self. It's interesting how time changes you, things you thought that mattered, doesn't always in the end and vice versa, though it's not always easy to figure out which is which. I think I've come along since I started this blog few years ago, and am thankful for having a way to just let things out of my mind and my heart. I feel lighter on my shoulders now. I find myself censoring what to write and I didn't want to get to that point where I don't write about things that matter...even if it was just to me.
"Everybody wants to leave something behind them, some impression, some mark upon the world. And then you think, you've left a mark on the world if you just get through it and a few people remember your name. Then you've left a mark. You don't have to bend the world. I think it's better just to enjoy it. Pay your dues and enjoy it. If you shoot an arrow and it goes real high, hooray for you."
I am more me
I remember when, when i first moved here, a long time ago,
'cause i heard some song i used to hear back then, a lone time ago.
I remember when, even further back, in another town,
'cause i saw something written i used to say back then, hard to comprehend
and the question is, was i more alive then than I am now?
I happily have to disagree;
I laugh more often now, i cry more often now, I am more me.
but of cause some days, i just lie around and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating from my hand or my wrist.
'cause flesh is flesh, flesh as flesh as flesh, the difference is thin.
but life has a certian ability or breating new life into me, so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here, and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face, instead of that grin.
and the other day, this new friend of mine said something to me
just because something starts differently,
doesn´t mean it's worth less,
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in, how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was, then you came.
so i'm gonna give, yes i´m gonna give, i'm gonna give you a try
'cause i heard some song i used to hear back then, a lone time ago.
I remember when, even further back, in another town,
'cause i saw something written i used to say back then, hard to comprehend
and the question is, was i more alive then than I am now?
I happily have to disagree;
I laugh more often now, i cry more often now, I am more me.
but of cause some days, i just lie around and hardly exist,
and can´t tell apart what i´m eating from my hand or my wrist.
'cause flesh is flesh, flesh as flesh as flesh, the difference is thin.
but life has a certian ability or breating new life into me, so i breathe it in.
it says here we are, and we all are here, and you still can make sense,
if you just show up and present an honest face, instead of that grin.
and the other day, this new friend of mine said something to me
just because something starts differently,
doesn´t mean it's worth less,
and i soaked it in, how i soaked it in, how i soaked it in
and just as to prove how right he was, then you came.
so i'm gonna give, yes i´m gonna give, i'm gonna give you a try
31 December 2009
The Missing Piece
There's actually a book out, The Missing Piece and the Big O that I came across today. It was online so got to read it. It made me smile and teary while watching the clip below I found on youtube. It's definitely now on my to get list.
I think it's true for everyone...in the end we hope to meet our Big O
I think it's true for everyone...in the end we hope to meet our Big O
08 December 2009
New Day
Today was my first day at the new gig, it went fine overall though I was like 20 mins to the orientation. This is the first time I arrived late over something like that. I don't even know how it happened since I woke up like 2 1/2 hrs before I had to be there. Anywho, the people I'm gonnabe working with are pretty cool, and one of the guy who interviewed me even took me down to the cafeteria and stuff. He actually told me he wanted me for his team but didn't want to take me away from my boss, lovely.
So yea, it's off to a good start working at the new job. Just a bit of a dilemma though. With the whole quitting thing, I actually didn't leave my company after having talked to the manager, I had her yank the separation paper and asked her if she can find me a swings or a night shift position with the company. I need to talk to the guy I was working with the past month or two since he'd be open to keeping me, but not sure if he would if he finds out I can't come in til like 4 or so. Normally the swings do 2:30 til 10 but will see. Another bump is that where I work, they really don't have a parking lot so they're saying I might want to just catch the metro which would be fine, except I'm not sure how I can get to a second job if ever so maybe it's not fine.
Just had to let it out since it's been in my head all day and people I normally would talk to about it might get tired of hearing any of it.
Oooh, got my new glasses today. I've had the same one for two years now and I opted for a plastic ones instead of metal. I think it looks nice, haha! I just tried it on but didn't wanna wear it yet, oh my godd, that's my mom talking. Whenever we used to buy stuff, we don't actually wear it or whatever until a "special" occassion, makes me laugh now.
She's no longer living with me as of yesterday. She's still in the area but she's with her man now haha. The guy's nice and all but I CAN'T stand having him at the apartment ALL the time, it just feels awkward for me somehow so derrrr. I'm on the fence about getting a roommate since I get aggitated with some little things, like if people use the sink and not watch the areas around it that's wet, people stepping out of the shower into the rug while still soaked instead of drying off before getting out, I'm not the only one am I?
Weekend was good overall, hang out with my cousin on my dad's side that moved here to DC. I need to reach out to him more, I've just been cocooning myself lately over some things that's happened. But I kinda slipped in our conversation that I was gay like real casual. It came up how my dad and I haven't spoken for almost 2 years now, and I told him our communication went to a halt when I came out to him over the phone, so I think my cousin got it.
It's 12:30 and I can't sleep it. I have to be up in 4-5 hrs but am awake now which is odd. I was dozing off in class BIIIIG time even my classmate noticed, heh. Will just go read a book then, ni ni :)
So yea, it's off to a good start working at the new job. Just a bit of a dilemma though. With the whole quitting thing, I actually didn't leave my company after having talked to the manager, I had her yank the separation paper and asked her if she can find me a swings or a night shift position with the company. I need to talk to the guy I was working with the past month or two since he'd be open to keeping me, but not sure if he would if he finds out I can't come in til like 4 or so. Normally the swings do 2:30 til 10 but will see. Another bump is that where I work, they really don't have a parking lot so they're saying I might want to just catch the metro which would be fine, except I'm not sure how I can get to a second job if ever so maybe it's not fine.
Just had to let it out since it's been in my head all day and people I normally would talk to about it might get tired of hearing any of it.
Oooh, got my new glasses today. I've had the same one for two years now and I opted for a plastic ones instead of metal. I think it looks nice, haha! I just tried it on but didn't wanna wear it yet, oh my godd, that's my mom talking. Whenever we used to buy stuff, we don't actually wear it or whatever until a "special" occassion, makes me laugh now.
She's no longer living with me as of yesterday. She's still in the area but she's with her man now haha. The guy's nice and all but I CAN'T stand having him at the apartment ALL the time, it just feels awkward for me somehow so derrrr. I'm on the fence about getting a roommate since I get aggitated with some little things, like if people use the sink and not watch the areas around it that's wet, people stepping out of the shower into the rug while still soaked instead of drying off before getting out, I'm not the only one am I?
Weekend was good overall, hang out with my cousin on my dad's side that moved here to DC. I need to reach out to him more, I've just been cocooning myself lately over some things that's happened. But I kinda slipped in our conversation that I was gay like real casual. It came up how my dad and I haven't spoken for almost 2 years now, and I told him our communication went to a halt when I came out to him over the phone, so I think my cousin got it.
It's 12:30 and I can't sleep it. I have to be up in 4-5 hrs but am awake now which is odd. I was dozing off in class BIIIIG time even my classmate noticed, heh. Will just go read a book then, ni ni :)
02 December 2009
It's a blue, black blue Wednesday...
Dunno why I had the urge to Goldfrapp's A&E before posting this.
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